So guys.... here goes.
Im 23 (24 on Thursday) and have been gambling for about 4-5 years.
It all started out with a £10 free chip for a casino at freshers fair in uni, walked out with £100......... hooked.
I've had large (for me) wins and large losses over the years but never had a horrendous problem (or so i viewed it). I've had a couple of payday loans come from gambling, but i never viewed this as a problem. My ex girlfriend also used to like a flutter, so this didnt help at the time. Id happily spend £200-300 in one night in a casino. I even blew my whole student grant in one night (£1500).
3 years ago i met my wife. Gambling stopped pretty much overnight. There was no need for it. The odd flutter on the footie, odd £10 in a fruit machine, but nothing in excess. Then we moved to leeds, a few casinos in walking distance. We'd go to casino together, she enjoyed it in moderation, and didnt mind a £100 loss or so, so long as it was affordable.
We got married 4 months ago. Best day of my life.
Now to cut to 3 weeks ago.
I put £40 on my online account. Sat on Live Casino and cashed £1340 (wow)
Week later i lose £500 online
Week later we go to the casino, my wife leaves early at £200 down, i was £600 down at one point, make it to £800, but chasing £1000 i lose £700 total
Last week £500 online
Last night £500 online
I havent told her about the last two £500 losses...........
I think a lot stems from the fact i am bored, not with my wife; she is beautiful, funny, clever and amazing, but with my work and lack of social life. (I work nights)
Im beginning to realise i have a problem........
I always thought i never had one because i never gambled frequently.
I dont know wether to tell my wife or not. Im worried for the consequences.
Day 1 starts now.......
Good choice coming here...
I can't tell you whether to tell your wife but I do recognise the signs having lived with a compulsive gambler for over 2 decades - myself! I take my hat off to you recognising them so early & hope that you find the tools you need to stop it in it's track before it gets a strangle hold. The lies, the stress, the debt mounts up, you find more & more excuses why you do it, then you look for someone to blame (it can't be my fault, I'm too sensible) & before you know it, the life you have now is no longer recognisable.
Find a hobby, post here if it helps, you said yourself you don't do it regularly! The money has gone, time to move on! Please please do everything you can to nip this in the bud before it destroys your happiness! Best of luck!
hi be thankful how lucky you are to have your wife / soulmate in your life. As you become addicted to something, be it gambling or anything else, part of you becomes precoccupied with gambling / or that other addiction, so you become less in the ' here and now ' with your partner. so you lose the valuable time with your partner, as your mind / thoughts are elsewhere (e.g. thoughts of gambling) while you're with her ! You also have less money to spend on her, or doing things with her (days out / weekends away etc) as you've spent it on gambling instead. I lost my soulmate in February she was only 42 ! I gambled during our relationship, so part of me was psychologically / emotionally absent when we were together, & i took the time with her for granted. It was only after she passed away that I realised that we could have done more together, I could've been with her more, given her more of my love if i hadn't been financially, mentally & emotionally preoccupied with gambling at the time. Don't let that happen to you. Part of the problem with any addiction is that when you're not doing it, you're thinking about doing it, missing it, anticipating the next time you'll be doing it, and * all of those things occur even while you're with your partner* It's possible your partner really isn't fond of your gambling, but indulges you out of her love for you. ask her !
Think about putting a gambling-site blocker on your PC's / laptops etc. There's a free trial of an inexpensive one here (& it's only £20 to buy the full version) : http://www.plevna.f9.co.uk/block-gambling-with-txnogam.htm . Choose the never allowed to uninstall option.
Think about going to the reception in the casinos you frequent & completing a self-exclusion form. So you won't be able to gamble there either even if you want to. (if reception did subsequently allow you in, if you won & tried to cash out the casino could refuse to pay you on the basis that you're self-excluded)
Don't let what happened to me happen to you. It isn't pleasant believe me. Don't take the time that you have with your partner, and the love, for granted. tc
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