Struggling lately

Hi Dan,

Welcome back to the Forum.

It sounds like you had a lot to contend with in 2019, It must have taken a considerable amount of strength and resilience to come through on the other side with your situation and suicidality at the time.

Thank you for being open and honest about your story. You are not alone and I’m sure your post will be met with lots of advice and support.

It sounds like you have made a lot of progress with registering with Gamstop, having a new job and rebuilding your credit. I also hear you have been thinking about gambling a lot recently which is affecting you emotionally. It seems like you have picked up that having spare income again maybe a trigger for how you are feeling right now. It is vital in recovery to identify when things are becoming difficult for you and sharing with others to reduce the risk of you gambling again, which you have done.

If you are wanting optimal protection for restricting your access to gambling online, I will encourage you to install Gamban a blocking software which blocks all gambling content on up to 15 devices. You can access a free Gamban license by coming through to Our helpline. You might want to contact your bank to block gambling transactions, a lot of banks offer this functionality now.

I would also encourage you to call our Helpline on 0808 8020 133 and our 1:1 Livechat (both open 24 hours every day) to talk things through  with one of our advisors. To discuss strategies  and steps you can take to manage your gambling urges. We can even get you referred for 1:1 treatment if you are interested.

Wishing you all the best

Vanessa

Forum Admin

Hi Dan,

I have read your story. You have fought your way back from a very dark place. Well done on what you have achieved with the support of your partner and with coming back to get your more recent thoughts out of your system.

To me its no surprise that your having "thoughts" now that life is getting better. Its often the way with gambling addiction. It is with me anyway. Am more dangerous to myself when life starts to get better and thats when the real hard work of recovery begins... ie dealing with yourself and how you feel about yourself. Responding to difficult emotions... well... differently. It is hard. I am very much still a work in progress. Always will be.

By the way, I have been through bankruptcy as well, came out the other side and then built up a new pile of debt. Don't let the same happen to you.

All the best

Hi Dan,

I'm glad you're still here with us. You have come a long way. Are you receiving counselling? Or you could call the helpline on here whenever those thoughts are getting really intrusive. Distractions like exercise are also good. I'm sorry I can't be any more help. I just stopped 3 days ago and I have all the blocks in place that S.A. mentioned above. It really helps. Best of luck with everything xx

Hey Dan,

I saw your post above and I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I went into recovery in July 2019 when my partner discovered the extent of my gambling (she knew I gambled, but not to the extent that I was). I was in a considerable amount of debt, not as much as you mind you, but still a very considerable 5 figure sum. Anyway like you I knuckled down the first 6 months where it was very tough and very raw. I had some counselling, joined the local GA group and gave up control of finances, cancelled online accounts, stayed away from bookies etc. As I said the first 6-9 months were very tough as the realisation of the situation I had created for myself and my family hit home. It was put one foot in front of the other type of stuff. Thankfully from about month 9 to say month 18 things got easier. My self loathing for myself lifted a bit and I started to give myself a break. Friends and family were supportive and I told those nearest and dearest to me about the situation. I hit 18 months in recovery and things were going good. I was paying off my debts, saving money towards a house and rebuilding the trust that I had lost previously. Like you, this is when the thoughts started coming back to me and they have been pretty persistent for the last 2 or so months. Sometimes they come into my head and I'm able to shrug them off without much notice but other ones sit or stay with me for some time and they can make you very anxious. When this happens I slip out of the "keep it in the day" mantra and I start to think thoughts of "oh Jesus this is for the rest of my life" etc. When it gets to this stage I just try to talk to someone about it. Whether it be my partner, a friend or a colleague in GA. If its still grating with me by the time I have my next meeting, I might share it then too. I know that there are going to be very hard times in recovery, so I just need to accept that there will be bad days and hope that the good outweigh the bad. I suppose the only thing I would offer as some advice is to talk to someone about your thoughts. When you articulate to someone that you are thinking of going back gambling, I'm sure their response will be "gambling got you into 100K and you lost your house, why would you want to go back?". But we don't always offer up this information to people because if we keep it a secret, it's easier to talk ourselves into going back. I hope you hang in there pal.

All the best, Happy.

Hey Dan 

Well done Man great work...

My advice is what we all know to think clearly not illogically (have brain working on optimum)

Good Sleep patterns, regular walks/exercise, good food (cut out as much sugar as pos)

drink plenty of water (dehydration really helps function), Cuddles with your partner.

Positive Future Goals with your partner and personal goals, allocate Spend time with positive friends other human beings to help normalise thoughts/what's important in life....

hope this helps bud