Taking the first steps to change for the better

Hi Chantelle. I am literally 2 days post admission to my family. I dont want to paint a pretty picture that it will all be ok but i was on the verge of a breakdown trying to burden the debt and lies. All i can say to you is it will come out eventually and better now than ending up like me and 15k in debt or worse. Its such a hard thing to do but draw up a plan and do it. At this stage its all you can do to move forward.

Thanks for replying winnie, I feel exhausted with all the lies, I came clean to my partner today, mainly because I'd left the bank account empty and was in despair about how we are going to get through the week, it's crazy because I know we are already struggling financially yet I don't think about that until I have nothing left, my credit rating is non existent and that may well be a blessing in disguise, God knows how much debt I'd be in if I could get the credit, I hope you are doing better now you have unloaded the burden, are your family being supportive? My partner didn't take it very well and I can't blame him, my relationship is close to ruin if I'm honest, I think it's more the lies than the money that's hurt my partner, there's very little trust left now

Hi Chantelle I'm wife of cg. I would suggest a visit to the gp, maybe see if you can get bereavement counselling. Also call gamcare, get some advice and someone to talk to. I'm sorry you're partner didn't take it well. Initially it's a massive shock, how? Why? I would maybe see if he will call gamcare too. We go to GA and gamanon. For me it's support, you learn how to deal with a cg. Take control, learn to say 'no'. You need to show him you want to stop, hand over finance, get counselling, go to GA. Reality is you need to stop to give your daughter the mummy she deserves. Your life will change for the better. Get help, good luck!

Hi merry thanks for your reply, you made some really good points that hit home with me, I really do need to put my daughter first, she deserves so much better and I am determined to do it, I just got my referral letter for bereavement counselling so I can finally make an appointment, I really do think this will help me, I am desperate to change, I feel like such a weak person because I know I shouldn't do it yet I still do, I can totally understand my partners view, maybe I would feel the same if it was him doing it, afterall it is really selfish even if it is an addition, I'm trying to stay strong and positive and take it one day at a time and hopefully I can do this, you sound like such a supportive person, your husband is really lucky to have you, it must be so hard for you to be at the other end of it, I wish you and your husband lots of luck for the future, I hope everything goes well for you

Hi Chantelle watch the documentary about slots. It's called 'watch this if you're a slot addict'. Sounds like things might start to help with some counselling.

Hi

My husband is the CG in the house. Your partner is going to be reeling but at the same time he's also going to need to step up to the plate. Have you offered him control of the finances, access to your credit reports? He can set passwords for blockers to your devices and sit with you while you self exclude from every account you have. You are right when you put the lies right up alongside the loss of money. Full financial transparency will go some way to helping him feel more in control.

Your story sounds very similar to mine. I'm of the same age and have the same age child too.

I really wish you all the best trying to kick this horrible habit

I found that having no control of finances last time I quit gambling really helped and you have a partner so it's easily done now you confessed. You may not like it but taking away your personal allowance and leaving him in control of money will help. It's what I did and I didn't gamble for 4 years.