Today has to be a life changing moment for me, I have been on and off this site for a good two years now, wanting to give up the gambling - but unable to because I cannot accept the losses from all I have earnt. I have lost life changing sums of money - well life changing for me. I don't want to get into debt, but i am creeping towards that issue. What I really need (and I am having gamcare counselling at the moment, 8 weeks in) to know, to get round in my head, is how to let those massive amounts of losses go and never chase again. I seem to be able to not gamble for maybe 21-42 days (though I am really unhappy through this period) and then i can play the 'fotb's' 10 times in a week, (always break-even or up) then the time I lose or cannot get back to my deposit, I go chasing 'on-line or fotb'. I need to let go of the overall sum, but I can't. I need to change my mindset. I know there is some great supportive people on this site, any ideas of a way forward for me - one that I can eventually be at ease with and return to my happy self.
Hi LML, I agree that letting go of your losses is a vital step to stop gambling. Unfortunately there are no easy answers. I just tried to be honest with myself and admit that gambling had got me into a terrible situation and that gambling won't ever get me out of it. Why would it? I was a hopeless gambler. Maybe chasing losses is an excuse to carry on gambling even though we know we can't win. Maybe we can't admit to ourselves that the whole thing has been a monumental waste of time and money.
Personally I think you are still in "gambling mode" and still thinking about gambling even when you aren't. The fact that you're unhappy during the times you've stopped probably highlight this. Gambling won't save you or get you your money back I'm afraid.
Thanks for your observations DeLorean, can ask you how bad did it get for you financially ? (I will understand if you do not want to reply to such a sensitive question)
When we make our addiction about finances it is impossible to move on. They really are the easiest thing to sort. Your trying to fix a problem with a solution that clearly doesnt work for you. You talked about winning & recouping your losses but that you still do not walk away. Would that not suggest that winning back your losses wont solve anything. I would suggest that a big win would just encourage you to gamble more. It would tell your addiction that this is the way to handle my life problems. Easier said than done but you have to find away to accept that the money is gone & is not coming back. You havnt mentioned a lot about what you are doing to solve your issue besides gamcare counselling. Have you put financial barriers in place, self exclusions, blocking software, attending GA. Gambling for me was an emotional solution. It allowed me to fail or not try in life. It was always the gamblings fault never me or the choices i made. I had to ask my self not why do i gamble but why do i feel pain what is it that i cant face upto without addiction to hide behind. Anxiety,stress,helplessness not feeling heard, self pity, ego, low self esteem,pride,rage & anger could all be soothed with a few hours gambling. I needed to find new solutions on how to deal with those & many other emotions. I found those solutions in the rooms of GA & in the workings of the 12 step program hopefully you can to
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