Time to be a better person.

Morning Poblwc,

thanks for your message.

I have not rung them yet but will look to do so today as I am going to need all the help I can get.

It's my day 1 today and only been up an hour or so but already struggling with the thoughts of gambling. But I won't.

I hope you have an easy day.

Hi SallyW

Sounds like your getting bogged down in semantics. Need and want!

I need to lose weight....I want to lose weight. what's the difference?

Need is just that...the doctor says I need to lose weight, but do I want to?

You are saying you need to stop gambling, but do you really want to?

I loved gambling. I was a poker machine addict (I think you call them fruit machines in the UK). I knew I needed to stop gambling, however until I had lost every cracker I had earned and could not gain access to any more credit , I kept gambling. Why? Because I WANTED to!

What you need to do and what you want to do are 2 entirely different things.

Finally, please don't get bogged down in all this. The fact is you have to stop your gambling or your life will be potentially ruined. My debts will never be paid off. A lot of gamblers I know are in a similar situation, some have been to prison because they stole to finance their gambling. Don't be one of those statistics.

Best wishes

Poblwc wrote:

Have you spoken to Gamcare online. They are trying to arrange one to one counselling sessions for me. Like you i live very far from GA sessions i think chester which is over 100 miles away! They will be providing these counselling sessions soon about 25 miles away which is achievable for me. They are free.

They may be 'free' to you but they arn't free. Someone is paying for them and that someone in this case is Gamcare via the gambling industry. Enjoy, value and engage in them.

Hi Sally,

I hope you are having a good day today. I would just like to reiterate the point of Wal1957. Whether you want to or need to quit, the main thing is you are trying to quit. This forum is full of people who iether have quit or are attempting to quit their addiction to gambling. Just as much as the losses are personal to each one of us so are the methods we use to quit and the reasons we have to quit.

The key is to keep an open mind with regards to this addiction and find the positive in whatever we can to combat this addiction. My advise to you is to get and use all the help you can, you will soon figure out what is going to work for you or not.

You have made that first positive step towards recovery, admitting you have an addiction takes courage and a great deal of self-awareness. Be aware of the small achievements you make on a daily basis taking into consideration that you are one day better off today than you were yesterday.

Take care,

Thank you so much for your kind comment Zulu, it means a lot to me & gives me renewed resolve to beat this & stop.

My head was a mess yesterday & having my reason for posting here questioned and being told I am likely to struggle because of it, almost made me give up & leave the site.

But yours & other kind posts have shown me that this site is where I need to visit daily for support and hopefully, ( when I am more qualified to do so.) also give daily support to others.

Well I'm half way through day 1 and all good so far.

I do need to think ahead and gets some blocks in place. I know I will need them.

Thank you again & I wish you a wonderful day.

Thank you so much for your kind comment Zulu, it means a lot to me & gives me renewed resolve to beat this & stop.

My head was a mess yesterday & having my reason for posting here questioned and being told I am likely to struggle because of it, almost made me give up & leave the site.

But yours & other kind posts have shown me that this site is where I need to visit daily for support and hopefully, ( when I am more qualified to do so.) also give daily support to others.

Well I'm half way through day 1 and all good so far.

I do need to think ahead and gets some blocks in place. I know I will need them.

Thank you again & I wish you a wonderful day.

I keep getting double posts???!!!

Hi Sally. Remember we are hear for you but there is never an 'easy' day for any of us. I struggle every day and would love to have a gamble but I make the decision not to. I am having a very bad personal day today - which is causing me stress but I cannot give in. Keep going don't give up

Poblwc,

You are having a bad day & yet still took the time to post on my diary.

I rang my sister today, not to offload on her but just to hear a friendly voice. I have rung her 3 times this week having not spoken to her in over 3 months and I can not even remember the last time I saw her and she only lives 15 miles away.

Each time I rang the first thing she said was "I'm to busy to talk, can I ring you back?" She has not rung me back all week!

Poblwc, you have brought tears to my eyes, they are running down my cheeks.

I don't know you.

You don't know me.

You are having a bad day. (((((Poblwc))))

But you still found the time to post me support.

You are amazing.

Thank you.

I hope the day ends better for you. Keep strong.

And you Sally. I'm in bed now hopefully i'll have a better day tomorrow. Washing machine flooded so i had to clean that up, daughter hurt her fingers playing netball!! And lots of other things went wrong. Usually after stressful day i would go on the computer and play online games for hours until i was exausted but this is not my life anymore i have moved on . Speak to you soon xx

Hi all.

Well I got through day 1 gamble free so now day 2. I hope this gets easier but I am finding that now I have decided to stop it's all I think about & motivation to do anything else is rock bottom.

i have 6 hours to fill before things get easier when my family get home. I should spend the time trying to drum up some business as it is so quiet but finding hit hard to find the mind set to do so.

I think that because work is so quiet and I struggle to leave the house (Another one of my issues.) I gamble out of boredom.

Well I must try and gather some energy and get my b**t in to gear.

I will not gamble one penny today.

Poblwc... Thank you again & I hope today is better for you.

Free... You are so right, we will never win so for whatever reason we must stop.

Here's to a gamble free Friday.

Day 3

Well I got through yesterday, but only just. I got an email regarding the weekend "cash match " offers from the casino I used that I had had confirmation from that my account had been closed due to my confessed gambling problem!

My mind wonders why? Is my account closed? So I log on to check... It's still open!!!! I was so tempted, but thankfully a bigger part of me was so angry that it was not closed as confirmed.

Pleased to report that this prompted a very swift & very abusive phonecall, the result being my account is now most certainly closed!

Today promises to be easier as I actually have some work to do this morning and then the big food shop to do. Also my family are around so I am not left lonely and bored.

Weekends will be easier for me.

Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

Well done SallyW, when opportunity rises many of us are compelled to act. You did what was right for you. The casino could care less re your welfare.

Day 3 is an accomplishment in itself. Actually, any gamble-free day is an accomplishment. Remember, we all do it one day at a time. Today I choose not to gamble.

I used to live on noodles (the 2 minute variety) that was all I could afford. Isn't it nice to be able to buy food that you enjoy eating?

Hoping you have a great weekend yourself.

Best wishes

Hi SallyW, congratulations on Day 3 🙂

I questioned the want/need too as all I ever wanted was not to lose anymore & was petrified when I realised I could never control my gambling except by quitting & yet, here I am a few short months later, loving recovery. Great work yesterday, I have found my anger @ gambling (Mr Gamble as I call him) & the fat cats that provide it has really helped me!

It will get easier! Keep making those great choices - ODAAT

Congratulations Sally you did it you resisted . I've had these as well. Sites telling me they have closed my account but they haven't. Really angers me. So well done. I'm doing ok at the moment.