Time to change...forever!

Hi Sam can't write much right now as I'm on the way out. Just thought I'd drop you a welcome there's a chat room that opens for an hour at 2pm see if you can make it as there will be a lot of guy's in the same situation who will give you some great tips on self exclusion and groups you can join etc. Sorry it's a flyby I'll give you a proper reply tonight. All the best bud and welcome aboard deano

Thanks for the reply mate, i will try and get time to pop into the chat rooms this afternoon and get some advice off the others Cheers

Hi mate. Firstly respect for coming on here and seeking help. Something I wish I did when I was your age. Im 27 now and in that time Ive lost around ВЈ150k of my money and another £50k of debts, lost a home, cars, anything of value etc to this addiction.
Youre doing the right thing just follow it through mate don't be here in years to come repeating my story.

G

Hi Sam,

It's tough, I'm 21 and it feels like it's completely destroyed my last two years at Uni. But I've put in loads of blocks to stop it happening anymore and I can slowly rebuild my life.

Have you got practical blocks sorted? Have you tried installing a blocking software?

Hope to hear from you bud

I tried the blocking software for laptop and phone but they are easy to get round. I know of the one you pay for is meant to really be good to help but i havent looked into it yet. I have joined the SENSE scheme and also self excluded from all casino/online gambling sites that i was signed up to and know of. My biggest challenge is pay day if i can go the full month without gambling after a pay day i know i have seriously nipped it in the bud this time (well hopefully). So its a waiting game for a month to see if i can do it. On day 2 of not gambling and feeling good lets hope that number carries on growing.

Thanks for the replies

There is GamBan which I use and that's brilliant. It's totally free and works for me and you cannot uninstall it.

This is going to be my first payday not gambling too so fingers crossed for you man.

Ill get that now cheers for the info mate. Yeah need to keep myself occupied and put some money away so i can save up for the future. Horrible losing money that you could get behind you.

Hi Sam,

I read your story & I couldn't believe a lot of the similarity's between the two of us!! If you read my story from the recovery diary section your see. All I can say Mate is that I just decided enough is enough and I haven't had a single bet for a month now. It is a horrible feeling to not be able to break the cycle of gambling everyday/week & losing hundreds/thousands on what is just pressing a button online. I'm sometimes around in the chatroom & would be good to chat more and see how your doing mate.

You can do it but you really do need a lot of will power & a lot of support around you or if you can't confide in anyone close to you maybe consider talking to Gamcare online or by phone who can put you in contact with support meetings or 1-1 counciling near you to give you strategies to stop the gambling cycle.

Takecare buddy

Paul

Well done on the month mate hope i can get through a month as i reckon the hardest part is going to be the early days. Any tips that you can give that helped you stop with any urges or anything? Be good to get some advice off someone wbo js really doing well.Pay day is the big point if i can do a full month after pay day i know that i have the will power to go on and keep myself gamblig free.

Thanks for the message:)

It's really difficult with pay day as I guess your a bit like I was in regard to when it's pay day I would spend the lot! If you feel after you get paid your going to gamble any a lot of people hand over control of their finances for a bit to a family member so you can't access it. As for tips to deal with urges I guess everyone's different & things that work for one might not work for another. What I found personally mate helped me was making sure I didn't have a lot of time on my own at home as I used to spend my money online. I would have things in place e.g. Cinema, films, exercise, coming on here to the forums & chatting as well has helped. As I say find things that distract or occupy you rather than thinking about gambling. I've got through 2 pay days now and it gets better & easier the longer you go. You also have to just be really determined mate & remind yourself you want your life back and want money for clothes, holidays, socialising etc rather than spending it on pressing a button.

I'm 100% convinced you can do it mate. As I said I will be on the chatroom some nights & will also read your messages on here to offer support/advice if you need it, just ask.

Paul

Well done Sam for being brave enough to take the first steps to stop.

It is so incredibly hard, best advice I have is to put barriers in place, to gamble you need money, time and opportunity.

Can you trust someone to control your finances, make sure you have self excluded/put software on your phone and as someone else says make other plans for your time.

You are young and I think I could have wrote your post when I was 19 - I didn't and wasted so much money time and worry. Good luck pal.

Welcome man,

It's saddening to see another young guy like myself on this site, but that's becoming a more and more common occurence. Look at the stats and you'll see you're not alone in this situation. As what has been said to me and what has been posted above, you're lucky that you have identified this at a young age. The good thing is you're earning so you've got yourself a way out of the situation both financially and mentally. There's a couple things I'd like to suggest; firstly, keep yourself busy elsewhere. Start spending more time with your girlfriend, maybe join a 5 side footy league with some mates, work some overtime (if possible), anything to keep your mind preoccupied. The sport is particularly good because not only does it consume time but it also tires you out and aids preventing any late night desperation. The second is to start controlling your finances more strictly. I'd suggest making sure that you have no available lines of credit anywhere, e.g. no overdrafts/credit cards etc. Any credit cards you have already, shred them and order new ones. When they arrive, shred those. Have one debit card for everything. Find an ISA of some sort that doesn't allow withdrawals and transfer some of your earnings on payday into the account for savings. You could also think of this account to be your savings specifically for earning back the money you've already lost, watching it go up and up will motivate you every day. Leave what you need to survive on a single debit card, or take out cash and split it into weekly allowances. If you break this weekly allowance, even by a penny, you need to have the self determination to give next weeks to someone else to hold for you. Have someone you can trust in hold this for you, who knows your story, whether it be a parent/guardian or a close friend. I've recovered half of my big recent losses by doing this for a few months. Thirdly, avoid gambling. Whilst that sounds obvious, what I mean by it is to avoid everything to do gambling. TV advert comes on? Change the channel, no hesitation. See an advert on the train/bus station/whatever? Look at your phone/something else. Don't even give it a second. I personally wrote myself a note reminding myself of all the bad things gambling has brought me, and whenever I saw/heard something related to gambling I'd read the note to remind myself of all the bad things possible - adverts and friendly chat about it usually show only the positives. If you're in a conversation with a bunch of mates and they bring up their mad 50p 5 fold acca that landed, leave the conversation, go to the toilet, don't hear it out. It's surprisingly tough to block out all of this, both conciously and subconciously. I think myself doing this has led to one of the biggest improvements. Lastly, you need to forget about the money. By this I mean two things: forget about the money you've lost, it's long gone and you're never getting it back. This is not bad though, you've paid X amount of money to learn a valuable lesson in life and it hasn't costed you your house/kids/savings/pets/etc. Secondly, if you do find yourself thinking about placing a bet, forget about the money. Don't think "oh it's just a 5p per line slot and it's only 1 spin" (or more dangerously, f it - I'll bet it all). It's crucial that in these moments that you remind yourself a small bet is still a bet, and it does so much more damage than just losing a quid or whatever.

I hope some of that helps you, and don't forget, you're not alone in this. 60% of Gamcares calls were people in the age group of 18-35 year olds, and you can be sure that there's a hell of a lot more people out there struggling just like you who didn't call. Just know that if someone else can do it, you can too. Being realistic, you're likely to gamble again before you fully stop. Hopefully this doesn't happen, but if it does, don't do it locked away in your room or whatever, keep it open and make sure you can easily see the time passing, it helps prevent time flying by and also means you're more likely to be distracted from it for something else.

I was about to say best of luck, but then I just realised the irony in it. So instead, you can do this, so do it, we believe in you.

I have took alot of advice from all these and just having people to talk to and support you about the whole situation is great. As my family werent as supportive i felt like they looked down on me and were really wanting to help so that kind kf prevented me trying to stop earlier on. And again i want to say thanks for the messages and advice and i have really took alot away from this and motivating me more to get the gamble free day counter up to bigger and higher numbers. Thanks alot