What is with triggers that you know will set you off but you can't help to continue doing what you are doing.Â
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I'm 38 and live with my partner and little boy(1) I have kids from a previous relationship.Â
I've been going through some tough times recently and I knew when I got paid yesterday that I wanted to gamble until it was all gone.Â
My brain was already telling me that I wanted to go on self destruction and lose the lot.Â
Now usually get paid and send household money over. Around £1100. Didnt feel like doing this, I wanted to gamble.Â
Now surely crying while pressing the button isn't right. When you are feeling so low you are in a state of constant numbness.Â
I just wanted to feel no pain. Be liveless for a moment in time where all pain would go away.Â
Anyways lost a lot of money and left around £500 in my account (managed to at least stop at some point)Â
Obviously telling my partner this morning didn't go down well. She knows I have a long addiction with gambling. I didn't go to work today! Stayed in bed all day and probably won't go tomorrow either. I just feel so low.Â
Why am I like this! Why can't I change. Why can't I just be normal. My headache today has been one of the worse so far.Â
Not feeling super positive atm.Â
Hi JUST ONE LITTLE GO WON'T HURT,Â
Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing. Well done for managing to pull yourself out of the session and opening up to your partner. It sounds like you're having a tough time at present so please feel welcome to contact our 24/7 live chat or freephone helpline (0808 8020 133) and we can can discuss further support options with you. You could also contact your GP and update them on how you're feeling. You don't have to take on this challenge alone.Â
kind regards,
Tom (forum admin)Â Â
Â
My trigger is when i feel down or depressed, i turn to gambling hoping a win will make me feel happy. But I have learned it doesn't work too well. When I do win, I am happy for a moment, but then I gamble more and lose the lot. I am focusing now on stopping gambling and turning to more positive activities to get me out of a bad mood.
Thanks for your post -it is very important to know what your triggers are.Â
Hi Leo,Â
What are you doing activities wise to combat this? Please let me know, i need some ideas.Â
Thanks. Â
I have been thinking over the last few days. We are only ever a few paychecks away from Homelessness, and if i am honest I have always been good at stopping after the car cash of losses. But, and i am sure there are a few in this group, are not so good at 'stopping' when the next wage comes in after the initial loss.Â
This is the thing i need to concentrate on the most! When my xmas wage comes in, do i want to feel how i felt on Monday, the stress, the rubbish xmas, the let down faces of the kids on xmas day.Â
The answers are clear; DO NOT GAMBLEÂ
This is the first step on the road to recovery. My children want their dad back. Gambling took me away from all their great stuff and achievements. I was there, but was i really 'there'? No of course not! Looking at my phone, engrossed  when the baby is taking their first steps, etc, etc.Â
How about i bet on my self winning for a change? In fact, forget that. I don't ever want to be associated with placing a bet again.Â
You've got this Lee! Â
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