Trying to escape

Hello,

I have been trying to stop gambling for around 2+ years now (I registered with GamStop), i go through really good spells and stop for around 2-3 months, but then I always seem to relapse blowing it all and putting me back in the same position.

i think I am slowly starting to understand my triggers but it feels like every time there a challenge in my life I revert back to the comfortable (but destructive long term) of gambling as then I don’t have to think about the problem.

The last relapse was caused by i was going to pay for a subscription for a course but I felt that guilty that this money should go towards paying off a credit card that I blew it all gambling as that is the default program in my brain when dealing with these situations.

I had enough of this s**t 2 years ago but I feel like I can’t stop and it is starting to really affect me mentally as it is making me a failure and not allowing me to progress both professionally and personally.

Is there anything that I am missing, I feel like my mental toughness has just been constantly beaten down over the last 2 years to where I am now a shadow of what I was.