Hi, yet another week I’ve used all my wages on online slot’s. I’m set up with Gamstop & self exclude from accounts but still manage to gamble through accounts in family names.
I feel like such a selfish P***k which I am. Money seems to mean nothing to me whilst I’m playing & reality hits home afterwards when everything is gone.
I need & want to get clean from gambling, I know gambling isn’t a way to earn money & I can’t understand why I keep going back & playing.
I earn decent money & have a child on the way. This is the first step for me admitting that I do have a problem & I need it to stop yesterday to provide the best life for me & my family.
I always shrugged off the idea that I have a problem but this has now been going on & off for years but more recently has taken a hold of my life to the point I’m gambling on slots rather than spending time with those most important to me.
Nobody know’s I am struggling this but me & im hoping I can get a hold of this from advice from you guys. Today was the last straw for me, wages hit my account & I gambled them within an hour. How selfish.
any tips & helps on how you folks began your journey would be greatly appreciated as I’m determined to beat this.
thanks!
@75vsqej3l9 Hi mate, many of us have been there and I know it's a very harsh feeling of guilt.
I would start by saying don't be too hard on yourself. You have a gambling problem and this needs treating just like any other condition.
Also you actually haven't been selfish as you have not benefited from spending this money in any personal way. If you had put the money into a lavish lifestyle for yourself while not providing for those around you this would be selfish. But this is not the case. You have hurt yourself by using the money for gambling this is not a selfish action. It is the action of a person with an addiction.
I would strongly advise you to tell those around you, or at least one person. If you don't feel ready then speak with your GP to see what they can offer e.g. counciling and reach out to Gamstop, even if it's just the online chat function.
A compulsive gambling problem where the money becomes meaningless and it's all about the spin of the slot can be a devil to beat by yourself, even with the best of intentions.
You have already started your journey by admitting you have a problem to yourself. If you want to continue down the healing path of non gambling I would make yourself more accountable by telling someone close to you who you feel you can trust.
The next step for me was putting as many blocks in place in-between myself and the gambling. This including removing my access to money. It gives you mental space to plan your recovery and look at the triggers to your gambling.
A good CBT course was priceless for me as well.
Keep us posted.
@thebean thank you for the kind words!
As the day has went on I’ve been less harsh on myself after reading through numerous post’s within the forums here. I absolutely do have a problem, but I feel i’ve reached out before I’ve caused any detrimental financial harm.
I’ve taken steps today, signed up to software blockers, spent some time to reflect on what means most to me & it certainly isn’t mindlessly tapping a button wasting my future away.
I know this will still be difficult as I need to understand what my triggers are & how I can avoid them which I’m guessing will come in time.
I have opened up to my girlfriend a little, telling her I think I may have a problem, not to the full extent that I would have liked too. I stalled & felt slightly embarrassed to tell all, I guess it’s a start on moving forward.
My girlfriend was very supportive, we both went through every online account & self excluded. She even set up Gamstop with her details preventing me from gambling with her details which was a weight lifted of my shoulders.
We have now changed my wages to go into our joint account meaning she can oversee any spending. It does feel embarrassing that she has to do this but I suppose it’s necessary!
I’m still gutted I lost my wages today & have left myself short for essentials & bills. I’m so done relying on others to carry me when I gamble away my money.
just writing in this forum alone has brought me some sort of relief as it is the first time I have ever opened up!
thank you for your reply man, it’s helped more than you know!
Summed up perfectly by thebean. You have done the right thing coming here, now if you are serious about beating this you need to take the hardest step. Having this secret will not help you. Time to speak to someone, and admit defeat. Trust me, I didn’t and lost everything and with your child on the way you do not want this. Do it for them. Someone needs to cut you off from money, simple as that, you need someone to trust who can look after it until you can control your urges. Once you have no access to money you will feel safer and can start to get help. Read everything on here, contact the step change team, attend GA, block everything, but most of all be open and honest. If you hide things, you will keep hiding things. It’s what gamblers do. To not be a gambler you have to face the truth and lay it all out there. Tough decisions ahead but you can do this. Do it first for yourself, but then and probably most importantly, for your family.
Good luck and wish you all the best in tackling this
@p6z38njbqm thank you for your reply! The advice is extremely valuable & I’m grateful that people actually take their time to show support!
I spoke with my girlfriend today about the addiction, she was so supportive towards moving forward together & tackling this together. I didn’t give her as much information as I wanted but I feel such a relief that she is by my side. It’s made me think, what was I actually afraid off?
I took steps today by self excluding from all sites, signing up with Gamban & my girlfriend has also registered with GamStop to prevent me gambling with her details.
We have changed where my wages go, they will now go into a joint account we both hold & she can now oversee my spending.
I’m thankful I am in a position that I have not caused severe financial harm & can recover financially within a few weeks but man I’m so sick of gambling wages week after week!
The real test will come next payday when money hits the account but I feel more confident than ever with the steps I’ve taken today & just reaching out within these forums has taken a massive weight of my shoulders.
Crazy how we can mindlessly press a button spending hard earned cash within minutes.
again, thank you for your reply! I intend to have a success story & hopefully help others in a similar situation if the future!
@75vsqej3l9 don't ever underestimate the steps you took today. You did good 👍🏼
Excellent to bring your gf in on the case by your money being paid into a joint account. You have regained control by asking for help and you have done it on your own terms.
Remember... Problem gambling loves to hide in dark corners. By shining a light on it and being more open you show it up for what it really is. Always be honest about it to yourself and those around you and it can't take root.
Congrats with the baby on the way. Someone so self aware will be a great dad 👍🏼
Hello Mart
First of all congratulations to you and your girlfriend on the baby and I hope that everything goes well with both of them.
I just wanted to say well done for taking action on the advise you have taken straight away and involving your girlfriend too. You are an intelligent man who understands the consequences will be very different if you continue down the gambling path, and not only for you but for you family too.
Do not let these toxic gambling establishments enjoy your money, let yourself and you family enjoy it. You work day in day out to earn it.
Take care.
Ergos
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