What can I do!

Hi Pasta89

First of all congratulations for being 6 weeks gamble free, that's some achievement. Secondly, urges are perfectly expected in the early stages of recovery so please don't be hard on yourself about this. However, you might find something called "urge surfing" useful in terms of understanding your urges and how to deal with them. You can find more info here: https://www.rehab-recovery.co.uk/resources/urge-surfing-what-is-it/ or you can watch a short video on it here: https://responsiblegambling.vic.gov.au/terms-of-use/accessibility/gamblers-help-video-transcripts/urge-surfing-how-resist-urge-gamble/

I hope this gives you a good place to start and keep up the positivity and strength.

Regards
Forum Admin

Have s*x with the wife ? 

There is something called "urge surfing" practiced in mindfulness meditation training. The idea is that when the craving hits your brain (urge), don't try to fight it or suppress it. Recognize that this is normal and even expect it. Think of it as surfing on an ocean wave. Just try to ride it out. Urges can typically last from 20 minutes to 30 minutes. So if you can think of other thoughts you can just ride out the urge til it goes away. Hope this helps.

Hi Mate.....welcome to my world! This is normal but knowing that doesn't make it easier to deal with. I've been GF for a while now but I still have those thoughts and urges that just won't go away - its like that bloody ring in Lord of the Rings constantly sending messages and turning your brain to mush so you can't think of anything else!!!

Distraction is the only thing that I know that sorts it out. Sitting watching telly and having a drink doesn't do it as your partner can be talking to you and you are nodding your head but in reality, you ain't heard a word. I am the same whatever I am doing; reading a book, watching a film, taking a walk.......once those thoughts come along I struggle to shake them. Just be strong and get through it and it will ease.

If you are really brave (and do this with great caution) you could tell your partner what is going on in your head as that will definitely stop it. Careful with that one though as it could cause relationship problems unless you have told her everything about your gambling problem.

You can do it.....

Mick

PS I know its difficult to believe but I come on this site and read a few posts and write stuff like this and it help enormously. It takes it away quite quickly and perhaps you could try it?

@mp thanks for advice luckily I didn’t gamble on anything I presume it was just the alcohol giving me the dreaded urges that seems to be my trigger