What has happened to me?

Hello,

I’ve had issues on and off with gambling over the years and have used blocks and so forth. I had gamstop for 5 years but when it expired I started gambling again. I saw your post regarding tennis betting and I guess I wanted to hash it out with you as to why it is so silly to do as I myself have recently started with tennis betting and have developed a major problem.

The ultimate answer is for me to sign up to Gamstop again. I have been betting on point betting and mainly backing the player who is not serving. It came to a head when the player I was backing had won the majority of their points prior to me betting on them, and then every time I backed them, the player lost, like literally 8 in a row. My point being is that as you say, you can be winning and then half an hour later you’ve lost it all and it is completely senseless. 

Overall it’s like what is the point? I think the adrenaline and dopamine from backing something that can give you an instant result when gambling on tennis is what draws us in. But I guess my message to you, and whether you think the same, is that we need to stop. It only ever ends one way, which is us as losers. Ultimately the answer is to get the blocks in place to stop the cycle continuing.

@jez89 Hi Jez. Thanks for reaching out and your response. I can relate to everything you say there. The amount of time I have spent questioning myself as to why I am doing this but then revert back to making the same mistakes is unbelievable. 

My.own behaviour with it all has scared me. I'm struggling to even explain my actions because in the cold light of day, they really are bad. 

I wish you luck in overcoming this too mate and I'd be happy to chat more if it helps either or both of us. 

@08uy7jeoah it is horrible. After every time it happens, I say to myself not to do it again. Then when the dust settles and the urge hits, I do it again. I guess the only way to stop it from happening is signing up to GamStop as that eliminates online betting. Especially with us, and betting on tennis, it’s unlikely that you would go into a shop and do the type of bets we do, as it’s impossible, and even if it were, giving money to an actual person, we’d probably feel very silly. Obviously the answer to that is to self exclude from the shops too.

Sure, I’ll keep an eye out for your posts, as I do think it helps talking it through with someone. Just to get that clarification that what we are doing is extremely damaging. All the best to you and good luck.

You are definitely not alone on this, I'm going thru the same feelings right now. I've been secretly gambling for 2 years and spent a lot of money. It's my money, but it's still been a lot of money. This is my first relapse after quitting a few years ago and my husband unfortunately found out without me telling him, which was probably the worst way for him to find out. He's upset with me calling me a degenerate and so on.  I understand that I don't deserve forgiveness right now. I'm going to start going to you gambling addiction meetings. I've already looked up my information so I've committed to go, I hear we have to take it day-by-day and step-by-step. So be kind to yourself and have patience.  I found out that I really enjoyed gambling because of the dopamine effect. And I have just been diagnosed with ADHD and also I am a hospice caretaker for my father-in-law. Full-time at home, I'm also one lonely person. My husband works a lot. No excuses, just the facts. I've always been the one person in the family to always have it together, always figuring everything out and have my head on straight. And I feel like my husband's even more upset with me because he feels lied to, betrayed and I know that I'm to blame for that. I'm not the person that he thought I was. And I'm realizing that I'm not the person that I thought I was either.  I'm many things and this happens to be one of them. I Never thought that I would ever have a problem like this. I have been very surprised  & disappointed in myself. I always thought I had more control over myself. But i'm realizing that I really don't. I think we're always learning new things about ourselves and it's very scary to feel that you're usually in control and then this ridiculous addiction that you have no control over, takes over your life, its a very scary thing. 

You can be careful with money on many aspects of your life such as looking for items on sale in the shops, or clipping coupons to save on buying groceries, etc, but when it comes to gambling you can become reckless with money. This has happened to me and I believe countless other compulsive gamblers as well. It just doesn't make sense. I guess the only way to solve the problem is to abstain from gambling. I have tried the so-called "controlled gambling" or "gambling in moderation" method and it doesn't work for me. I keep going til I have lost the lot. From now on, I'm going to concentrate on stopping altogether. 

@angi & @leo thanks for your replies and again, I can relate to a hell of a lot of what you say. I just don't understand the reckless nature of it all when I am so careful in so many other aspects of life. I wish you both of luck too and would be happy to speak some more on here with you both to try and find a way through this. 

@08uy7jeoah 

I just wanted to reach out and thank you for sharing this. This is sadly so relatable. Tennis, and particularly in play, is my biggest problem. I'm finding that I'm using betting on it as a source of entertainment, I will bet on matches and then sit there for hours watching them whilst riding the rollercoaster of emotions that come with a match. I've lost thousands just in the past week alone, and that doesn't even scratch the surface of what I've lost this year. The money I'm depositing and staking has just become an irrelevant number on a screen which is frightening to me, I've always been very good with money throughout my life and will always look for value in everything, even checking the reduced items every time I visit a supermarket or store. However, when it comes to gambling, the rationale goes out the window and the spending becomes incredibly reckless. Fed up of how much it has taken over my life and the affect it's having on me as a person. Mental health is shot to pieces and it simply has to stop for me now. 

@nl2kw1zp97 Hi mate. Thanks also for sharing this. Honestly, I cannot explain to you how similar this has been for me, almost identical in fact. At times winning huge amounts, only to then lose it all and more. There is literally no sense to it. I also feel the same now that it has to stop for me. It should be fun, but it simply isn't anymore. If you ever wanted a chat or anything mate, I'd be more than happy to share feelings removed link