Hi everyone. I appreciate everyone circumstances are different and the amount of money is irrelevant. But I lost just over 40k 2 years ago through online sports betting. I went through GA which I thought was a bit of a waste of time and ended up sitting in a bookies when I was supposed to be attending the session every Wednesday. I nearly lost everything. I took out loans which I knew I could not repay on the condition I was only 1 win away from paying it back!?
if I'm completely honest with myself and others. I've never given up because I have been chasing the amount to repay everything back. Is it wrong and selfish of me to want to win the money back and lose my wife and children because the guilt is too strong?
Last month I won £16,000 and it is killing me that I didn't withdraw all the amount from my account, bank it and delete my account. WHY DIDNT I??? Now I'm down again and I've been caught. My wife is more understanding now because she knows it's an illness and not just a 'stupid thing to do' like most people think.
Anyway. Here's to day 1. Stay strong guys.
Hi Desy,
Firstly well done on posting here and admitting you have a problem, that's a good start.
It's defenitely a sign of this illness that we continue to do the same thing over and over and over and expect a different result to magically happen. You can't stop and bank £16k because you need £40k to get even. The reality is if you won £56k tomorrow by some miracle, would you actually stop? I doubt it. You'd want to win an extra £5k or £10k for your trouble and before you know it you'd be back to square one. We can't win because we can't stop.
You really need to get yourself off the horrible merry-go-round and once you do and try to accept that the money is gone, you will start to appreciate everything else in life that you may have neglected in the past. It's very difficult but this is the truth.
It's great that your wife is understanding but be careful that you don't use that as an excuse. 'I have an illness, I can't possibly stop'. Have a look at some of the diarys and you'll see that people have achieved things that they thought were impossible.
Keep posting here, there are some very good people with some excellent advice. Good luck mate.
Cheers
Scott
Hello Desy,
If you were to win 300,000 tomorrow, you would not quit. Why, because it is easy money. Why quit at 300,000, why not go for a million. People love millionares. I could be a millionare.
My point being is, there is never enough. There are times that it is enough for right now, but never enough in the long run.
Us gamblers live in a fantasy world, waiting for the next rush. Once you are a compulsive gambler, you will always be a compulsive gambler. One of the keys to winning this addiction is to become a compulsive gambler that chooses not to gamble.
I have accepted the fact that this my illness is for life. Doing that has kept me from relapsing. Now, everyday, I have to choose not to gamble today.
I also have to fight the triggers that cause me to want to easily fix my problems, such as gambling. No problem is resolved by gambling, only delayed till I come out of my fantasy world.
I am hoping for your success in fighting this illness Desy.
Kind Regards,
A M
Hi Desy,
Scotto and Pure justice really nail it within each respective post. I can't really add much more apart from stating I've lost about 200K through gambling. That's an enormous amount for an ordinary working man like me. You may not believe it but I'm entirely at peace with myself about the loss. I can swear to that on my mother's grave. The money is gone and lost forever and to try and retrieve it by gambling would be futile. It's not like a dead person you would grieve over, it's just "dead" money. Now that I've come to terms with it I don't want to gamble ever again.
Chasing losses is the quickest way to the poorhouse. It can also drive you to being the nearest thing to crazy in the end. Stuff of nightmares. Believe me.
Best Wishes.
Hi Desy777
I am a recovering CG.
Agree with all comments by previous posters.
MrStop has really nailed what I feel to be a very important point, coming to terms with the losses, and accepting them. I am very analytical, so when I stopped gambling I too worked out roughly what I had spent on gambling. I would need another lifetime to earn that money.
If you can accept that what you have lost can never be recoverd you will be much more content with your lot. The path to recovery will be much easier.
re GA. Did you try other meetings? The people in those rooms have done what you have done, and understand you and your feelings better than any family member re this addiction.
Best wishes
Some great advice here . I`d guess I`ve chucked away somewhere close to 200,000 big ones in a 35 year spell of gambling but as mentioned above if you can come to terms with yourself that its gone then you can move on.
As your history shows everytime you have "won" you have kept chasing for more so the only way you can WIN is to stop.
Wow guys. Thank you so much. Your responses have helped me so much and I was starting to think I was the only one with a problem. Unfortuantely there is loads of us with this horrible condition. You're all completely right, if I won all the money back, I'd love to think I'd withdraw it all and spend the money but I dont think I would.
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