2014 Challenge

Hi unaitsert, yes I have a diary it should be on the first page now as ive just left an update on it... you should have a search bar. Just tpye in a username and click authors and that shows their posts. Hope your doing ok mate.

Formally checking in day 37 🙂

Evening everyone,

It seems like a bit of a topsy turvy week huh? We have huge strength in some quarters while some pretty beaten up soldiers in others. We never leave our wounded behind folks, so if you are feeling strong then I'd ask that you make the extra effort this week and make some posts on the diaries of those that are hurting. I'm sure if the tables turn then you'd get this extra effort returned to you in spades.

There's a couple of potentially new soldiers - Elfie and Matty - welcome to the Challenge! I've put a couple of specific requests for both of you on the very front page of this thread (page 1) as well as a message for each of you. Please have a read at these and follow through on the asks to be formally added this weekend. I really hope we can be of help in your recovery journey.

We've also got two soldiers who have thankfully come back to join us as part of their recovery. I really hope that Unaitsert, who was one of the founder members of the group, and rst18 can find the stregth from the group they need to make that critical breakthrough. Unaitsert - everything you need to know about the Challenge, along with a personal message for you, can be found on the front page of the thread just underneath the check in information.

For the guys who are struggling this week, I've left posts for you on some diaries, but please don't lose heart, don't lose hope, don't lose faith.......try to gain strength from the group, from the messages of support you have received and from the other resources on this site that are available - helplines, chat rooms and diaries etc. If any of you want a chat then please drop me an email and I can either exchange phone numbers and have a chat over the phone - just listening if that's what you need. You are NEVER alone when you are part of this group.

The front page is updated, we've got about a third of the group back to base camp safely - looking forward to the rest of the group checking in.

Be safe everyone, guard up and maintain your resolve.

I am Mr Brightside, a 41 year old compulsive gambler, taking back my life by abstaining one day at a time. Checking in on Day 198 and never more proud to be part of this group than I am right now.

A final comment for tonight.......Strange - an answer to your question - VERY!.......and even more so for reading your post.......but I have to admit I was exhausted at the thought of all of that 😉 It made my day yesterday! Thanks.

Checking in new to this thread day 25 today!!

Use the chatroom quite a bit and also netline now and again.

Tried doing a couple of recovery diaries but dont think I was ready or fully wanted to stop. Failed at stopping many times.

After a very very bad days gambling 25 days ago feeling very low, anxious, after 8 yrs compulsive gambling...

I finally made a decision that evening I was beaten by the addiction and was going to give everything in my power one day at a time to recover. I don't want to be a slave to this anymore.

I wanted my self esteem back, my pride, to look forward, to have more money and more time to do the things I love

Anyway so far so good...this soldier is loving it onwards and upwards. One day at a time and today is almost the end of day 25.

Hi Mr B, trying to post for 2nd time this week. Had typed long post a couple of days ago but then it disappeared into cyberspace, a bit like our hard earned cash going into slots........but no more.......the tremendous support shown by you Mr B, Mike and LifesWinner on this challenge is what is getting me through each day. I really appreciate you not making a big issue of my 1 relapse last week. Measures are in place to stop me being drawn in again. Checking in gamble free week.

Be strong everyone, one day at a time.

Mo

Mr Brightside,

I couldn't believe the post you gave me this morning, i had to reread it. This was probably one of the most positive posits i have ever read from you and im so thankful to be apart of all of this. You are right the blocks are just that blocks! but the real reason i have quit is because of me. You can count on this soldier to be here a very long time. As you and MO have said to change my name, well today is the day i feel like a lifeswinner,

So thank you Mr Brightside and MO

Feeling incredibly motivated.

Cheers LifesWinner

Hello everybody, just checking in on a lovely sunny morning. The second payday since I joined the challenge has just passed and for the 1st time in years I wasn't flat broke. Still have bad days but I just try to keep busy. Good luck for the rest of the week everybody. Daz.

Checking in on day 190. Nice to see you have changed your name, Lifeswinner sounds so much better, keep up the good work! Also well done Daz, the early days are the hardest, but getting through a second payday is a big step as that's when we are at our weakest.

I thought we would be up to 50 soldiers by now, but sadly a few check ins have been missed. Hopefully this week is the week we pass 50. It would be good to see a few more of the old members come back.

Checking in Mr B, somewhat early for me lol.

I am 45 but 46 on friday so enjoying my last few days being 45! I am from England.

I have been reflecting a lot this week and have realised that my mood swings have gone and that I am smiling once again. This is obviously due to me giving up gambling.

The best advice I am able to give is put everything in the way of gambling. I have self excluded from both bingo halls and this was the best thing I ever did. You need to be honest with yourself first before anything else, as if your deceiving yourself, you cannot be honest with anyone else.

Keep strong everyone

LG

Morning all - just wanted to thank you for the support shown to one of our fallen soldiers recently - this group is so valuable and I feel the collective goodwill and determination can achieve so much. As the daughter of a Royal Marine I see us in landing craft arriving on the beaches and picking up our fallen comrades. (Note to self: stop these WWII analogies - showing your age!)

Would also like to say a massive 'well done' to all recent posters - sorry, sometimes I lose the opportunity (as well as my marbles) to comment on your posts, but some which have stuck with me recently are Glads Dad, bornagain, Lifeswinner and so many others.

And not forgetting our brilliant Mr B for keeping us limbered up.

Best thoughts to all,

Joanna

Hi all just a quick check in before I have to set off to work... Day 5 no gambling, payday tomorrow will be hard but will be straight on here if I get the urges. Everyone keep up the good work!

Unaitsert

Afternoon All,

Just spent the last hour or so reading all the posts since my last check in two weeks ago. I feel like I just got off a roller coaster; such highs and lows. This is Day 42 for me so the raw emotion, pain and disappointment of a lapse is still close for me. I feel the tightness in my chest, the sinking feeling when I read your posts but I know recovery is possible when I read of the successes and milestones reached. We can do this.

Thank you, Mr B, for checking me in last week. I was in Corfu enjoying the sunshine. Interestingly, I didn't think of gambling at all but did think of the challenge and my fellow soldiers particularly when I sat down with a cold beer to watch the football. I would never have imagined that an online forum would create the bond I feel for you guys; you should be proud of the community you have facilitated and I thank you.

I'm a little late on your asks but here goes...

Julian

Male

Scotland

35

As for most important factor (forgive me this may turn in to a bit of a ramble) in giving up, I think it has been my acceptance of my weakness. I do not deny the importance of physical barriers. I have self excluded from every online casino and bookie that I have ever heard of and I purchased blocking software for my laptop. I have often considered telling someone in the real world and can see how handing over financial control would help but have never felt comfortable with the probable repercussions. I would warn anyone considering recovery in secret that it makes a difficult task significantly more of a struggle; if there is someone you can reach out to I would thoroughly recommend doing so. There have been days where I have thought hang the repercussions I need help but, in my circumstances, that would be selfish and shortsighted.

So, gambling as a weakness. For a long time, I would attempt recovery by telling myself to pull my together. I am well educated, sensible and the sort of person you might come to for financial guidance. I would tell myself there was no rational reason for blowing a fortune, 100 could be my budget for an afternoon out gambling and I could use my powers of logic and reason to beat it this time. Of course I couldn't. No compulsive gambler could. Hundred became hundreds became thousands and the cycle of quit, cover up, relapse would begin again. The best step in my recovery was admitting that I cannot control my gambling. It is a weakness as fundamental as my ability to see distances without glasses or breathe underwater. It doesn't make me sick or stupid and it is something I can work with. I cannot control my gambling but I can control the way I live to manage my weakness. When I am swimming I want to go deep under water; I wear scuba gear. When I want to play tennis and see the ball coming, I wear contacts. When I feel isolated, I want to gamble; I use Gamcare, the challenge and my blocks. We have more control than we might think on darker days.

I'll shut up now. J

Checking in on day 4. Tomorrow a big day for me as its payday but I'm determined to stay strong. Hope everybody is doing ok.

Checking in day 25

Mike 30 from South West London

Hope everyone is ok

Hi all!

Here to check in on day ..... 200! 🙂

Ooooooo yeah, feels awesome. Thanks to everyone here for the advise and knowledge I have gained along the way. Life is great and I'm enjoying every minute of it. Managed to pay off 5000 of a 7700 debt since the 7th of Dec 2013. Roll on day 300! 🙂

Scambling

Wow thanks mr b. Respect for what you do on here it's like a full time job. To add o my list of what I've done, yesterday I stained the deck in the back, took me all day but the feeling of satisfaction when completed was immense. I could have chosen to waste a load of time and money but for a few coppers the back garden is looking good. Company at the weekend BBQ at the ready life is good! Xx