2014 Challenge

Hi Folks,

Day 17 and still no urges to gamble. There have been two great positives so far. Firstly, the time spent with my wife and daughter doing simple things like putting up the Christmas tree, without keeping one shifty eye on the tv or laptop. Secondly, actually thinking with clarity for the first time in who knows how long.

One expected side effect is that my thoughts often drift back to the money I've lost over the last few years and what it's deprived our family of. I'm completely focussed on leaving the past behind and know I'll never get the money back, so using it as a painful reminder of why I no longer gamble. Hopefully once I've knocked a few debts on the head, I can let go of some of the guilt!

All of your stories of recovery and the impact on your life through continued abstinence are a huge motivation. Congratulations to all hitting their individual milestones. Keep going everyone.

elchipper

Hard Times- Mike Congratulations on your tremendous achievement 🙂 well done. Enjoy your special day with your loved ones. Today is another victory in your recovery - fantastic 🙂 Mama B x

30 days today must say it's been a bit of a s**t week! but dealing with emotions as a non gambler is something i'm still learning to do and is no excuse to go back to gambling! come through a lot at possibly the hardest time of the year! The barriers I put up on day 1 of this recovery are still serving me well even if things can be hard at times.

Not really having many urges but can recognise how you could slip back into things when things are not going so wel....but Not giving up! a bad day/week not gambling is far better than a bad day/week as well as gambling!!

Checking In ....6 mths gamble free. It's going to be a great Xmas in our house!!

Suzy

Good evening everyone,

Well the day has finally arrived and I have reached my first goal I set this time last year of 365 days without placing a bet. It has been hard, especially the first 3 months, of when I constantly thought of gambling on most days/ nights. I am going to give you an insight into who I am and the reasons I joined this forum and what I intend to do in the future to try and remain gamble free.

My name is Mike; I’m 44 and a compulsive gambler. I live in on the edge of Dartmoor with my Wife and 2 children (11+5).

I have been in the Armed Forces for 26 years next month and have travelled to some wonderful places whilst deployed away from the UK. My first taste of gambling came with the annual family holidays to seaside resorts and the evenings spent in penny arcades. My mother spent a lot of her days and nights in the local bingo hall with me being allowed to watch from the foyer and absorb the world of gambling. My father working away for the majority of my childhood and he has never really gambled at all.

I started to watch my local football team(Preston) with my 2 older brothers at the age of 16 on most Saturdays and this led to me following them into the local bookies and then placing 50p accumulators on horses running on the Sat afternoon. The worst thing happened at the beginning of my gambling days and I struck lucky and won a 5 figure sum for a 50p bet. That was me doomed and the start of a 27 gambling addiction.

Time away with the forces on deployment was fine as I only gambled on my return to the UK. All of free time and money on leave was spent in the bookies trying to gain that big win that would secure my future. It never happened, and the debt over the years grew and grew. Bank loans, Credit cards, selling of cars, overdrafts, all funded a world of a compulsive gambler and nothing was ever going to stop me living this dream. When the money ran out, then my Mother and Father would always step in and fund my addiction, they knew I had a problem but never questioned it because I could little wrong.

This continued even when I met my current wife in the late 90’s and subsequently married in 2001. The lies and deceit became normality and the warnings of divorce happened. She would smell the smoke from betting shops on my clothes when I got home and question me; I would make some lies up and think I have got away with it only for her find old betting slips in my clothes / car. In the year of 2007 and the ban of smoking in public was extra special as I could now spend the full afternoons in the betting shop with not a scent of smoke on the clothes.

During my gambling days I did some terrible things to fund my addiction, which I am still today, very regretful and deeply ashamed of. I have stolen money from my parents, spent money on their credit cards, stole equipment from my work and sold online (Of which I got caught by the Police and charged + deselected from a promotion at work), pawned my wife’s engagement ring, and even emptied my children’s piggy banks to get a few pounds to place a bet.... The list goes on, but at the time, all I wanted is to gamble and nothing was ever going to get in my way, no matter what.

All the years of gambling has resulted in my having numerous CCJ’s, defaults on loans + credit agreements, pay day loans, etc, etc. I have lost the trust of some close family and friends of who lent me money, only for me not to pay them back.

Last year was the final nail in the coffin, I had a large bet on a odds on horse that could not possibly lose, it did, and I had just spent all of the families Christmas money in one go. We had £35 left in the bank and it was the beginning of Dec. I cannot remember the drive home to my wife; I was physically sick and once home, I broke down in front of her.

She told my parents and they told her to leave me; as I was at my lowest ever point in my life and had some very strange thoughts going through my mind. Thankfully, I was given another chance by my wife and family of which I am not going to ruin again.

But I am happier than I have ever been in my life since stopping gambling 12 months ago. A big part of that comes from the determination to not let my past rule my future - there is nothing I can do to change it, there is no way I can turn back the clock so all I can do it push on and live my life to the fullest.

The thing that I have realised about long-term gambling over the past year is that you begin to lose track of everyday life; worry, stress, debt, sleepless nights, thoughts of winning and losing becomes the norm - you have become accustomed to that "sick release" because you are not in touch with how you acted before you ever came across gambling.

Compulsive gamblers are generally emotionally sensitive people - this is why we experience such euphoria when we win, and soul-wrenching desperation to regain what we have lost when others can walk away. Gamblers don’t crave the money itself; they crave the sensation of attaining it, despite what they tell themselves. If they have the biggest win, enough to pay every single debt, it wouldn't be enough. In fact, their biggest win would be their biggest nightmare because the comedown would be huge, which would lead to them wanting to experience the same thing very quickly indeed, which invariably leads to losing, and then them doing absolutely everything in their power to get those "winnings" back which leads to spending money they haven’t got, and then upping their stakes to ridiculous amounts.

Sorry for the ramble folks but I just wanted to get a few things of my chest and give you and insight into me and my previous gambling history.

Can I just thank every single person who has helped me along the way in my recovery, from the members who are no longer with us to the main man himself, Mr B (Tony) who has been pivotal in helping not just me, but lots of individuals who have joined this forum with the hope to stop gambling.

It is just the start of my recovery, I have turned my life around and I look forward to having a gamble free life.

Have a great weekend and try to remain strong and I look forward to celebrating other member’s success stories in the near future.

Mike

Wow.........and I mean WOW!!! Happy HappyDay everyone!!!

It's been such an illuminating week on the forum - some really big disclosures and Mike, reading that post will undoubtedly resonate with many more than just me. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. As a supplement to the post I put on last night (in your career world I think you call it a pre-emptive strike!!) I wanted once again to congratulate you on your year. It's easy to see from your posts prior to today that you are a really special guy.........but your post tonight has propelled you way beyond that now in my eyes. Would be really interesting to hear how Mrs Days is feeling now one year on?

I had a quick look at the PNE fixtures for the New Year - the Norwich game would have been great to get to, but too close to New Year..........but maybe we should try and arrange something for a home game and then have a few drinks in Preston or nearby that night? A group get together? Anyone up for it?

Once again Mike, CONGRATULATIONS!! You're a superstar.

night all,

Mr Brightside

Evening all

Checking in gamble free.

My new medication has begun to work.I feel at ease with it and will continue to take it and work hard to let it help untangle the jumble in my brain.

Best of all is I am able to work, for me a huge blessing.

Great to read this thread this week, mr Brightside and mike I salute you both.

A huge well done from me and also a big up to Phil for volunteering to continue with this thread next year.

Great work and great for the resolve.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Morning everyone!

So I've got the tiny terrorist at swimming and managing to catch up with this amazing band of brothers and sister!! Front page is updated, check ins looking ok, the best ever week for posts we've ever had - some amazing revelations and stories told - but we're still missing some big names - I'm sure they'll get back to base camp. A couple of big returning names too - will formally welcome them back in the update tomorrow but Ringerbell, Richy and my big mate and successor to the challenge Phil!! So so happy you're with us and picking up the baton.

Have a brilliant weekend everyone and will have the update on as early as possible tomorrow.

Mr Tony Brightside!!

DUNCS good to have you back and glad you are coping with the medication - take care of yourself you are special 🙂 Mama B x

Morning all

Another massive milestone this week...Mike, you can be very proud of your achievement and personal celebration of 1 yr abstaining

That sense of fulfilment is a great thing I remember mine the last time...it's something to treasure, strangely I can picture myself smiling and just being over the moon getting to 1 yr is fab (that was about 20 odd years ago). So a big well done to both of you, but perhaps more importantly your milestones are a very huge thing to your families reflecting on the hard times, grief and misery that envelopes us and changing that into positivity, hope and a real future to look forward to is fantastic and something to be very proud of.

Both of your posts hit me (and I'm sure everyone else on here) very hard and reduced me to tears because there's lots of me in both of them - inspirational and very personal is how they read to me.

I am very envious of your position of celebration this week.

I wish both of you and your families a very happy bright future.

A great week this week - cheers

Glads dad

Wow Mike your post has moved me, what an amazing story, your recovery is an inspiration for so many of us and I hope more on the site read it as I think we can all take something from it. I can identify with so much of where you have been, you've done incredibly well. The bit about the comedown after a big win is so well put, I am at my worst after a big win because I want to gamble larger and larger amounts until I have nothing left and then the urge to get more money is huge. Congratulations Mike!

checking in, all is well. not long now til the 2014 challenge is over.

del 🙂

great post mike and well dome to all hitting some great numbers this week.

Hi All, checking in very late this week - technically I know I have missed it [for the first time], but it has been a very hectic week at work & home this week, plus been helping friends move house, plus today is my 57th B'day so feel a bit special plus now I believe it is 192 days gamble free as at yesterday - can I double check in here and say will be 199 days next Sat PM? Sorry e1, bit cheeky but I know I have a same type of week to come as we try and do 3 weeks work in one week to account for the majority taking a 1/2 week break!

Anyways - less of my minor problems and stresses. More important are the great milestones and even greater posts that have been posted this past week! I have read through them all this morning [been up ages!!] and feel very humbled yet also very attuned to what many have posted - you know who you are!

Sad that Mr B is passing the baton but can fully understand and appreciate why and I can only say a big thank you Tony for all the posts, thoughts and mentions plus the weekly stats during the time I have been on this march, they really have helped me focus and stay gamble free more than you may imagine.

Looking forward to the rest of December and the new year which will bring challenges to us all, some more than others, but hopefully they will NOT be challenges about gambling but everything else in modern life!!

Have to go and get my B'day breakfast now then lunch with my so, so supportive other half and other family.

Have a great Sunday e1 and a great GF week, the one leading up to Xmas is always tough, as is Boxing Day for many, but just enjoy the first gamble free Xmas of your new lives, keep marching and look forward to the 2015 challenge with a shiny new baton!

Cheers, Cliff

P.S. I know Mr B is standing down, but I also feel he will still be watching over the march through 2015 and logging on to read posts etc, poss make a few himself - how can he not!! LOL

So sorry. I missed the checking in deadline ... Again. Still GF. Elfie x