Sorry for the late check in but pleased I've not missed it !
108 days gamble free.
Boxingday1
Day 100 today, avoided all the National sweep stakes at work yesterday and made it to day 100, looking forward to 200, good luck everyone
Checking in very late, apologies Born Again! Unless I've already checked in (I'm losing track which must be a good sign) in which case I'm doubly sure I've not gambled all week!
Hi all, have been a member on here for sometime now and never really taken the challenge to beat my addiction serious enough for it to happen. I'm now 11 days without gambling and would love to join everyone doing this challenge. Hope that's ok and good luck everyone.
Checking in on day 104
Apologies for the late check in! Been very busy this weekend. 71 days today. Smashed the 10 week mark! Took a big step today. My partner gave me my debit card for the drive back as I'm away for a few weeks and need cash. Made it past all of the service stations without even thinking about gambling. I felt really good. Wasn't even tempted by the grand national! Hope the grand national didn't draw anybody in.
Checking in on 350 days Phil,
Have a good positive strong week soldiers and keep safe.
Suzanne xx
Challenge Update Week 15
Intro
Been a tough week as we have 11 troops missing and 50 safely checked in. I hope this has nothing to do with the national and everyone returns safely. I myself had an afternoon of madness on Saturday and am ashamed to say I’m back on day one and apologise for letting my fellow troops down.
I’m going to repost Ryans message about life music for any new troops or anyone who is struggling at the moment. And when you check in this week reflect on how your life music is and say how you feel about it.
Missing soldiers
elchipper, spud1966, Garyl1976, mac09, Lemon25, John64, lollypoplol, TickFollowsTock, Freshman247, Givingup4good and anniek1, you all missed check in, I hope you are all clean and simply forgot. This challenge is still open to you, please get checked back in this week.
Life Music
This is more for the newer soldiers, but it’s also a useful reminder for the soldiers who remember this from the 2014 challenge. A lot of us refer to our life music and its inspired by a post from a great guy called Kyle (KRS). This was posted on his recovery diary on the 16th February 2014 it’s a great read;
So here's my theory.
I am a compulsive gambler. depressingly I know i always will be one. but encouragingly over time it does greatly diminish.
I first came here in 2008 and had various degrees of success and failure over that time. From what i learned and what I keep telling people is ....you have to learn your own triggers and reasons for why you personally gamble. I feel confident ~I have learnt mine... Mainly from re reading my diaries and exploring ideas that people have had and ideas I have come up with myself.
so here goes. I know everyone is different but i think all CG's are inherently the same.
I discovered that the 'voice' that made me want to gamble is always there. has always been there and WILL always be there. But it is set at a level. when i have been bad with gambling the level is high... when i have not gambled for a long time the volume goes down. I use the scale of 1 - 10. 1 being very low to 10 being very high. for my analogy to make sense lets say the 'voice' is a piece of music. and that piece of music is set to the level between 1- 10 of how bad my gambling is. my will power, urges, determination etc all affect my level.
So my level for gambling is playing a piece of music and im on level 4. which i generally regarded as my normal gambling urge level.
The trick i learned is, that that 'music' was always playing. ALWAYS PLAYING. I Always had it in me to give in to temptation and start gambling. it never went away. if i heard the music then i would gamble. learned behaviour. i hear 'the voice' or 'the music' and it makes me gamble.
now for the other side of the coin. please bear with me on this. it really does make sense.
Now lets look at your life. To oppose your thoughts about gambling.. you have your consciousness. you have your will power. you have other things to think about and do. your family your work your whatever's. Your LIFE is also a piece of music. Your theme tune, if you like. It is also set to a volume between 1 - 10. if your life is busy and full and rewarding you will be on a high level and your music is set loud. If your depressed upset angry or bored, your 'lifes' music's volume is set low
Now heres the point - If gambling music is set at volume 4, and your life music is at volume 7. you cant hear the gambling music...its drowned out. Your too busy or your in a good place, or getting on with other things in your life.... that you just dont hear the gambling music.. hence you dont get the urges.
Your life music will generally change day to day depending on what happens and thats the trigger to watch. because your gambling music will pretty much be at the same level dependant on the of the type of gambler you are. so for me at gambling level 4... if my life music drops down for whatever reason to level 4 or below . i will start to hear the gambling music again. start to get tempted. hear the old nostalgic music that triggers a relapse. the further your life music falls the louder you can hear the gambling music and the more chance you are going to gamble again.
sometimes you can get confused and tempted because your gambling level and life level are set at the same volume. so you get conflict. when you are really tempted but are still managing to hold off. The dangerous times when you have wobbles because you really want to gamble but manage to stop. you feel so at conflict with yourself. thats because your levels are so close to each other. you can hear both songs in your head.
The trick is to keep your life mucic high. It will always drown out that gambling music. you wont here it so you wont get triggered to gamble. It leaves us vulnerable when bad things happen to us. The volume on your life music gets turned down and you hear the old gambling music again. thats why you always have to have this in the back of your mind. The gambling urges are always inside you. always playing that music. That gambling tune! you have to drown it out with life music. drown it out with LIFE.
When you stop gambling you realise what a massive part of your life has gone. Hours and hours playing these games... with nothing to replace it. Most people end up relapsing out of boredom. You have to fill the space gambling left with other things. We CG's also crave risk and excitement. When thats gone... its hard to replace. You crave it so much... your gambling music gets cranked up so you can hear it again. It wants you to hear it so you can come back. You need that LIFE music turned up too so you drown it out again. Go jump out of a plane.. bungee jump... swim with a f@cking shark! whatever you have to do! But turn up that life music.
After 17 months gambling free I would confidently but cautiously say my gambling music has now dropped to about volume 1 or 2. My life's music is blasting out at level 7 and 8. sometimes 9. Im really happy. I wont get complacent though, because I know that way down in there, in a sad old corner, that gambling music is weakly playing out that old tune and if i get drawn in enough to hear it..... I will be vulnerable to relapse.
I hope that all made sense. It has worked for me. If this analogy works for you then great. If it dosent, work on it. You will find something else. What we have done as CG's is so crazy we try so hard to understand it. We are rational intelligent caring human beings. Why could we do these stupid and destructive things not only to ourselves, but to those we love? A big part of my recovery has been UNDERSTANDING why I did it. This helped me so much.
On another reason I have always had self esteem issues. Dont know why. I have always been told im fun, handsome, witty, a good person etc, but sometimes i just didnt believe it. I certainly now know a huge part of my gambling was a deliberate destructive side. Subconsciously I WANTED to destroy myself. I wanted to see what would happen if i had nothing. Who would help me. Who really loved me. Kind of like... If I throw myself in the river.... who will dive in and save me! Do you know what I mean.
Anyway another RIDICULOUSLY long post. Im so sorry readers. I just end up drivelling on lol
GET IT ALL DOWN. EVERY BIT. GOOD AND BAD. EVERY THOUGHT. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
I promise you it will all help.
All the best
Kyle
The biggest win I will ever have is to learn I can never win gambling.
I’m sure you will agree that was worth reading, Kyle no longer posts I hope his life music is blaring out loud. Now when that very article was posted last year I enjoyed reading it, BUT I didn’t work it out until recently. Because my life music was being drowned with debt worries and a web of lies the gambling music overtook my life music and I slipped up. Only now that I have no lies or hidden debts and my family know everything about me can I really appreciate just how relevant and helpful Kyle’s theory is. What Kyle says really is true and if you keep your life music levels high it really will become easier to make that daily choice not to gamble!
Milestones In The Coming Week
LK89 and Thegerman both hit 50 days this week, great start troops!!
Pabby and cloud both reach 10 weeks free this week, not for from the big 100 now well done!!
MrStop and ICanDoThis2015 reach 91 days (3months) free this week, top stuff soldiers!!
scotty1971 brings up three figures on Tuesday, well done on the big 100 Scott!!
brutus123C reaches 20 weeks gamble free on Sunday, good stuff keep it up!!
I Wished hits the big 50 on Monday, 50 weeks without a bet, that year is so close, proud of you!!
Ringerbell and triangle smash 400 days on Friday, top form soldiers, few well deserved beers on Friday for you two!!
Roll of Honour/ Days Gamble Free!
Please double check I have the correct count for you troops! Now to the important stuff, based on an average loss of 50 pounds a day whilst gambling we have collectively this year saved the grand total of…………………………..£297800………………………………Well done everybody, not far off three hundred thousand pounds!!!
Summing Up
With 11 missed check ins and my slip up this week it appears maybe some of us are slipping which is why I reposted Ryans post about life music. My life music has slipped and if anyone else feels theirs slipping then it’s time to address it. Please write a little in your check ins this week about how your life music is at present.
I have to apologise for letting you all down, last year when I reached day 100 I started to post less on my diary, urges started to come back and I eventually slipped. The same has happened again, I need to get back in top form and beat this. I do feel pretty low right now but so many of you great people are showing this can be beat and I need to follow in your footsteps.
Remember the challenge email if you want to contact me away from here or have any ideas or need the telephone list [email protected] and remember the Wednesday night chat room manned by sergeant triangle. Have a good week troops, stay strong!
Phil
Just incase I forgot to say I would just like to welcome Tnsk, Jlawson118 and barryt27 to the challenge, you are all now included on the front page and I hope this works for you and helps you!
rightchoice and beckyc290 welcome to the challenge, have a read through and see how it works and then once you make a second post checking in for the week you will be added to the front page and checked in.
Hello all
I apologise for the horifically late check in for the 11th, been busy painting of all things! First time in years I havent bet on the national and although my issues didnt arise from that, i didnt want to consider the consequences of what could happen if I did!
Still gamble free and so happy for it
Freshman247
Hi phil, really impressed with your honesty and strength to say you've slipped but your straight back on here and making sure it's just a slip and you'll move on. Because your running the thread it wouldve been easy for you to convince yourself to lie and show your still gamble free etc but lieing only hurts yourself and by showing that strength and getting back on here you'll power on and do the remainder of the year of that I'm sure and if you can do a whole year with only one day of gambling I'll say that's a success and you will be a million times better off than if you kept gambling, ofcourse I don't need to tell you any of this but just so you know your troops appreciate what you've done on here and I think youve inspired us to do this and how you've handled what's happened impresses me even more. Here's to the rest of the year were gonna make it a good'un. Onwards my friend.
Thanks again for the update Phil. I know you must be feeling extremely low; I think it's brilliant that you continue to run this thread for everyone, despite your current tough time. You are providing a great service to the 50-60 members; hopefully we can help you now. And As insanity says if you make sure it's the solitary blip for a year then that is pretty impressive.
In terms of keeping life music up, I made a list of 10 goals at the start of the year (of which one was a gamble free 2015). In it I made a resolution to read a book every 4-6 weeks and go to a gig/exhibition every month. They have proved useful as personal challenges - my gambling issues were mostly online and frequently linked to boredom so having a book to turn to when boredom hits has probably stopped me looking online.
Really late check in, apologies but getting through the Masters and Grand National was very testing and just feeling so much resent to people that bet at the mo.
Phil,
Sorry to read you slipped, but am very proud of you for getting straight back up and doing the update for this week, takes some guts my friend, you are a lot stronger than you think, and you care, and those positives outweigh any minor slip.
Suzanne xx
Good evening everyone, Well my short notice tour away has now come to an end and I am glad to say I am back safe and sound ( bar a fractured wrist) and still remain gamble free. I haven't had much chance today to read through the forum pages that have been posted since late January but I am hoping that the team have remained strong and pulled through those difficult times. I am guessing that some of the regular posters have celebrated milestones since my absence, Triangle, Ringerbell, Delboygolf, Lady Baggins, Del79, Wolf, Suzy lemon, I wished, Mr B, the main man himself Phil and all of the new people I haven't had the chance to read their individual stories.
I have had many opportunities over the past months to reflect on how much my life has improved since I stopped gambling on the 13th Dec 2013. My relationship with my wife is slowly but surely getting "fixed" which is subsequently allowing the trust and honesty to return to our relationship. My debts are being paid off monthly and I can finally see a light at the end of the financial tunnel. Time with my family at the weekends no longer evolves around sporting events on the TV but spending quality time doing what Dads should be doing with their children. All of these things I never did when I was gambling on a daily basis.
It hasn't been plain sailing since I stopped gambling I am constantly keeping all of my personal barriers firmly up so that the nasty addiction cannot knock me down when unexpected.
I look forward to reading the forum in the coming weeks to see who we now have on 2015 challenge.
Mike
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