Hi i am new to the forum. I have been having a gambling problem for over a year now and now all my savings i saved up over the last 10 years has gone. I feel sick thinking about it. i only told a few friends. There is absolutely no way i can tell my family. i cannot believe it has come to this. it all started when i was waiting in an airport lounge and was bored so decided to try to win a few pounds in online roulette. Before i had a gambling problem, i would just gamble very small amounts and stop when i won a few pounds. That day i lost all my bankroll so i withdrew more money and lost again and again and my bank card got blocked. Then when i got home i started to withdraw big amounts from my savings account and gamble much bigger amounts than i used to. This kept going on for a year and now i am left with nothing.
i tried to tell myself during the past year that i can win the money i lost back. and there were times i did win but i ending up losing it and more. i know its not good to chase losses but for me its so hard to walk away after losing a lot that i lose self control and try to win it back and often end up losing more
i told a few friends about about 6 months ago and they urged me to stop and accept that the money i lost was gone and i won't get it back. but i just couldn't accept it at the time. it made me feel sick and want to try and win back what i lost. Well today i am in an even worse situation as i lost it all
i was proud of how much i had saved up and lost that due to being greedy and impatient and stupid.
I also suffer from anxiety and social anxiety, i guess my anxiety does not help when i lose big, it triggers a reaction to try and get it back. I guess i also gambled out of boredom as well as trying to get back what i lost. i'd do it online as soon as i got home from work and even secretly at work in my office computer
i hate myself for what i have done and feel sick. anyone here can relate and know ways to get rid of this awful sick feeling and to stop dwelling over what i lost and beating myself up over it?
Thank you to anyone who replies
Just wondering how much did you lose? I remember when i quit for 90 days solid i saved around ВЈ2000 was an amazing feeling met new friends met some women always had money and felt good...then it happened i found a football match i thought was a dead cert....i lost about ВЈ200....Just had that hot burning face feeling and guilt..i needed that ВЈ200 back (stupid) over about 3 days i lost all ВЈ2000 and just led there and said i cant do this anymore.....Then i quit for 200 days...guess what i saved £4000 in a week boom lost the lot...im here to quit for good
I lost a lot. Thousands. I feel awful. All my fault. It's addictive. Especially chasing losses. I keep wishing I could turn back time but I know I can't. Still wish I could though.
I have just gambled again even after this thread its not too late tommorow is a new day
Hi Smallie,
I have just registered here. I completely understand you as I am gambling for a year. I was success to not to play for 2 months but starting from yesterday, I could not stop myself and I spent half of our savings with my wife. I put more money to save previously lost money and again and again.
I have texted my wife (she is on a family visit) and confessed. I sent rest of the money to her account to stop myself finishing it all.
I feel very bad and so shame. Honestly I even cried some, gambling is a real sickness. But this time, I really want to stop and I am planning to go to meetings or councilling. Registering here was the first step for me.
Good luck to us!
Hey you sound just like me. I was soo proud of what I saved, sometimes sacrificing things I really wanted in life but was determined to meet my saving targets then all of a sudden gambling came into my life. What you need to do (and unfortunately I don't practice what I preach as I can't seem to let go) is convince yourself that money is gone. I'm guessing your like me and at least believe in your mind if you were to suddenly be given the exact money you've lost you would never gamble again. So it's not like your put a quick fiver in the fruit machine for a quick rush but rather put thousands online to try and make back what you've lost? It's gone. You need to accept it's gone, the only thing that will bring you back to gambling is remembering that money and desiring it. Of course you feel cheated why wouldn't you? You saved for years for it, but don't you dare think it's still attainable. Forget the money and instead make a mental note of your depression now, when time heals and you feel better- no longer depressed but then think about that money you gambled away- that's when your in trouble. So forget the money and remember how you feel right now
Samh42 wrote: Hey you sound just like me. I was soo proud of what I saved, sometimes sacrificing things I really wanted in life but was determined to meet my saving targets then all of a sudden gambling came into my life. What you need to do (and unfortunately I don't practice what I preach as I can't seem to let go) is convince yourself that money is gone. I'm guessing your like me and at least believe in your mind if you were to suddenly be given the exact money you've lost you would never gamble again. So it's not like your put a quick fiver in the fruit machine for a quick rush but rather put thousands online to try and make back what you've lost? It's gone. You need to accept it's gone, the only thing that will bring you back to gambling is remembering that money and desiring it. Of course you feel cheated why wouldn't you? You saved for years for it, but don't you dare think it's still attainable. Forget the money and instead make a mental note of your depression now, when time heals and you feel better- no longer depressed but then think about that money you gambled away- that's when your in trouble. So forget the money and remember how you feel right now
Hiya thanks for your reply. it's true what you wrote . However, when i read "t's gone. You need to accept it's gone", that made me feel sick inside. I know what you said is true but it's just so hard to come to terms with. The few friends i confided in 6-7 months ago said the exact same "it's gone" and i just cried and didn't take their advice when they told me to stop. Having that false belief and hope that i could win the money back kept me going and made me feel better . Now i have no choice but to accept that it is gone and i messed up, thats just the hardest thing. thanks again
provocative wrote:
Hi Smallie,
I have just registered here. I completely understand you as I am gambling for a year. I was success to not to play for 2 months but starting from yesterday, I could not stop myself and I spent half of our savings with my wife. I put more money to save previously lost money and again and again.
I have texted my wife (she is on a family visit) and confessed. I sent rest of the money to her account to stop myself finishing it all.
I feel very bad and so shame. Honestly I even cried some, gambling is a real sickness. But this time, I really want to stop and I am planning to go to meetings or councilling. Registering here was the first step for me.
Good luck to us!
Thanks for your reply. it's reassuring to know i'm not alone. You are right that gambling is not just addictive, it can be evil. Before i had this problem, i used to sympathise with compulsive gamblers but never fully understood how serious it is until now. It just feels like an awful nightmare that i wish i could wake up from.
Good luck to you too. I know the awful feeling of relapsing and losing again and again is just devastating. only thing to do is just accept you made the mistake and start again. It's an evil addiction. I also am planning to go counselling. Hope it goes well for you.
Good luck to you aswell Joltz2006, like you said tomorrow is another day. you are not alone
I hear you. Literally in the same the same boat. It's the easiest way to make money but easiest way to loose it. Well both always think of what we've lost. Even when I went a few months without a relapse I would have sudden days of depression where I just dream to myself what I could of spent that money on. You've gambled away everything right? If you overcome it obviously overtime money will come back. That's when the biggest test will be. When you feel like you've recovered, got a fair bit saved up, then your biggest test will start. You'll think about your savings and compare it to what the figure would be if you had all the money you gambled as well. Then you'll think you can afford a small amount to try your luck to win some back and not be bothered if you loose or not. Then you'll loose. Then you'll not accept that loss and deposit more until your back to square one. I can't accept my money is gone either but I'm going to try my hardest. Whatever you do though is don't forget how you feel right now and promise yourself you'll never put yourself in that position again. Your obviously a great saver, which makes you more prone to gambling. I always convince myself I can risk a bit and be content if it's gone, not at all. So whatever you do remember this feeling now and remind yourself of this feeling in 6 months time when you have a bit saved up and convince yourself you can have a cheeky dabble and walk away if it looses.
Samh42 wrote: Your obviously a great saver, which makes you more prone to gambling. I always convince myself I can risk a bit and be content if it's gone, not at all. So whatever you do remember this feeling now and remind yourself of this feeling in 6 months time when you have a bit saved up and convince yourself you can have a cheeky dabble and walk away if it looses.
so you mean in say 6 months time (or even 1 month), if i have some money in the money and get the urge to gamble, i should think of how i am feeling right now and not do it? I agree and with everything else you wrote. everything you wtote is what i have been thinking. its such a vicious cycle. i have promised myself in the past not to gamble hugh amounts again but have broken the promise repeatedly. This time i am going to try my hardest to stop this. i'm glad i started posting in this forum as if i ever feel the urge to gamble in the near future, i will read through my post and other posts here and hopefully that will kill that urge.
Gamstop has been a life saver for me ... I was always stopping and starting, but, now I can’t do it ... because i’m banned, it’s amazing, even when i’m Tempted there is nothing I can do.
I was gambling for years, I have thousands in debt, but, I don’t let it worry me, i can afford the payments, and i’m paying extra every month, it will take me around 2 years to clear, but, that’s just how it is. I’m never winning that money back, i’ll have to lay it back, and that’s that ... no easy way.
I feel fantastic not gambling, I have money in my current account, i’m not in overdraft anymore, i’m not scratching around for money every month (despite being on a good salary).
It’s about accepting where you are, and moving on, we all make mistakes .. don’t beat yourself up
Horall wrote:
Gamstop has been a life saver for me ... I was always stopping and starting, but, now I can’t do it ... because i’m banned, it’s amazing, even when i’m Tempted there is nothing I can do.
I was gambling for years, I have thousands in debt, but, I don’t let it worry me, i can afford the payments, and i’m paying extra every month, it will take me around 2 years to clear, but, that’s just how it is. I’m never winning that money back, i’ll have to lay it back, and that’s that ... no easy way.
I feel fantastic not gambling, I have money in my current account, i’m not in overdraft anymore, i’m not scratching around for money every month (despite being on a good salary).
It’s about accepting where you are, and moving on, we all make mistakes .. don’t beat yourself up
Thanks a lot. i will try GamStop. it sounds good. Its just the regretting my actions and beating myself up that is the hardest part. And thinking of the money i had before i did made this terrible mistake. i am not on a good salary but was always careful with my money which is how i saved a good amount. For the first time in my life i am overdrawn. i won't let that happen again. thankfully payday is soon
Your young no point feeling guilty.gambling is everywhere now .gambling ads prey on the young of this country ..there's .years ahead off you ,for wife kids etc ..not if you gamble thou .you will make there lives a misery .hard words .Yes, but true.self exlude online and also the high street shops in a 5 mile area of your home and work or something along those lines .. you can do this online or phone..the numbers are on the gamcare website.avoid gambling like the plague. Be happy .
Thank you Sparky, i am female btw. its tough but hopefully it will get better
Hi smallie, I just read your post and it really spoke to me. I'm a 30 year old female and I'm a problem gambler. Over the space of about 5 years I've easily lost over 10k, easily, I can't even bring myself to think that it could be and probably is more. I'm so ashamed, and so so so embarrassed, I can't believe that money is gone... just, gone? How can it be gone? To where...? Into the abyss that is the online gambling coffers. I want to complain to them and somehow get it back, see those numbers back in my bank account and everything will go back to normal. I'll feel human again, like I'm not so worthless and stupid to even start this in the first place. I convince myself there's more to life than money but keep coming back to gamble again and again. The loss is the biggest thing to let go of, if I let go... then it becomes more true somehow, more real. How did we get here?
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