So I was doing really well 5 days gf but slipped up last night and blew the last thousand pounds I had in my savings account. The money can be replaced it's not like I haven't paid my bills or anything, but I feel so ashamed. Had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach all day. I was feeling so good abd so proud of myself and now I just feel disgusted.
I am now excluded from all the sites I've played on which is almost all of them. This has to stop now as I have nothing left to play with anyway. Time to start rebuilding myself. I'm going to start replacing all the money I've lost but am handing control of it over to the bank and locking them in an isa I can't withdraw from.
Time to get my debts paid off and build my savings back up and look forward to a brighter gamble free future for me and my children. This is an all time low for me and it's really opened my eyes to be honest. I never want to feel like this again.
Hello Lh8609,
Well done for acknowledging the slip, self-excluding and putting your savings out of reach.
You're welcome to start a diary in the 'Recovery diaries' section of the forum. Updating your diary thread will help to keep your story in one place so that it is easier for other forum members to follow your journey and support you along the way as you make further progress towards stabilising your recovery.
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forums/recovery-diaries
Take care,
Forum admin.
Wishing you all the best in your recovery LH. We can get through this and will be better people for it. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Sometimes you’ve got to fall before you get back up.
I’ve had so many similar lapses and I fully understand that terrible feeling afterwards, I’ve tried so many different blocks currently living without debit/credit cards which is working for me. I hope you find an answer that helps you beat this.
Totally understand what you are saying and feeling. Sometimes just to know that we don't stand like an island in misery of our choices. I think that none of us would actually consciously throw all our money away... it's addiction by design because the slot world is designed to create addicts. I think it's not our fault at all. I know we are not stupid. Education about the design of new age slot machines helps me to have compassion for myself and others but whoa yeah it's a tough one indeed. It feels like insanity to go back and redo the damage again. But, I know that we will all make headway and eventually have enough years of space between us and the addiction to reclaim our sanity and lives completely. I believe in you. tara
Thankyou tara x
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