Been a while ..

Evening Calvin,

I am no expert, however, I do have a few suggestions:

1. Buy a copy of Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters for £6.99 from any good book store (Amazon, Ebay). The urge to gamble is your monkey self, not you. 

2. Sign up with all casinos and gambling sites and self exclude yourself for maximum amount of time.

3. Sign up with Gamstop and download Gamban on your mobile phone.

4. If possible, sign up with Fintech bank such as Monzo bank that bars all gambling transactions and create a pot that pays yourself £1 daily for not gambling. This is used as a visual motivation tool as well as keeps a track record of your gamble free days.

5. Albert Einstein once quoted: if you do something over and over,  you'll get the same result. 

6. Finding a replacement for your gambling such as short walks, visit libraries, bike riding, reading etc. Anything that is counter productive and stuff that interests you.

7. Gambling (Greed) is not on the life menu- even the Bible states "You shall not covet your neighbours goods," Eventhough you may not be religious,  however, it is an invaluable advice.

8. If you get the gambling urges- go and watch Utube clips on recovery gamblers such as Only Phil and the winning hand. Find out as much information as you can to beat this greedy monkey.

9. Forgiveness- learn to live with it. As time passes it will become easier and easier regardless of how much money lost in the process.

10. Try to separate yourself and your behaviour- as they're two entities. 

11. Remember, time is on your side- healing process can start.

12. If all fails, go to GA meeting and start 12 steps. Go and seek professional help.

I hope this helps. 

All the best.

Xoi

Ps A thousand miles begin with one step

Posted by: Soysauce147

Evening Calvin,

I am no expert, however, I do have a few suggestions:

1. Buy a copy of Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters for £6.99 from any good book store (Amazon, Ebay). The urge to gamble is your monkey self, not you. 

2. Sign up with all casinos and gambling sites and self exclude yourself for maximum amount of time.

3. Sign up with Gamstop and download Gamban on your mobile phone.

4. If possible, sign up with Fintech bank such as Monzo bank that bars all gambling transactions and create a pot that pays yourself £1 daily for not gambling. This is used as a visual motivation tool as well as keeps a track record of your gamble free days.

5. Albert Einstein once quoted: if you do something over and over,  you'll get the same result. 

6. Finding a replacement for your gambling such as short walks, visit libraries, bike riding, reading etc. Anything that is counter productive and stuff that interests you.

7. Gambling (Greed) is not on the life menu- even the Bible states "You shall not covet your neighbours goods," Eventhough you may not be religious,  however, it is an invaluable advice.

8. If you get the gambling urges- go and watch Utube clips on recovery gamblers such as Only Phil and the winning hand. Find out as much information as you can to beat this greedy monkey.

9. Forgiveness- learn to live with it. As time passes it will become easier and easier regardless of how much money lost in the process.

10. Try to separate yourself and your behaviour- as they're two entities. 

11. Remember, time is on your side- healing process can start.

12. If all fails, go to GA meeting and start 12 steps. Go and seek professional help.

I hope this helps. 

All the best.

Xoi

Ps A thousand miles begin with one step

Number 2 is very poor advice..number 3 good

No need to join casino or gambling sites to exclude that would be a mistake the blocks,gamstop and gamban do that for you.

Posted by: Cal.J

Hey

so I don’t feel massively depressed this time as I’ve at least had the will power to not put any more in. I basically found a casino and deposited £100. I played that and won and was quite happy with myself. There was no easy withdrawal option so it sat there in the balance. Tried to keep myself occupied but I think you know how this goes if you’re here on a Gamcare forum & reading this 😛 ...

 

im proud that I haven’t deposited any more and I know I won’t put any more in. I’m always baffled how I’m unable to stop and just take the money though. The games are obviously designed to keep you hooked in and I know that. I’m worried about the emails I know I might get from them in future and how I’ll react to those emails and whether I’ll try my luck again and actually give them more of my hard earned money. I’m down £100 of my own money and I’m more than knowledgeable of how it ends up if I keep going. Hearing from you guys always helps as well when I feel anxious surrounding gambling.

thanks for reading 

 

calvin

Welcome to the club, but then we don't have a problem we just like to dream, and gamble, and they will always use it against us.

Thanks for your feedback and responses guys. I find when I slip back into gambling (which always ends up walking away with nothing and ruining my moods and mental health despite what I tell myself before I play) I like to put an extra layer of security between me and the problem after ultimately each loss. I’m already on gamstop and Gamban etc those were layers put into place a while ago. This time I’ve completely gotten rid of the primary email address I used to log in everywhere. It’s linked to all betting accounts and is the primary reason for recent relapses as it still gets adverts and promotions sent to it which I find triggers me and reminds me to play again. I’ve gone through most of my primary accounts in terms of university, work, broadband etc and changed the email address to this new one. 

This contently feels like a battle and even when I believe I’m over it i run over a speed bump and fall back into it again. If I’m honest I’m finding this pandemic really hard with being unable to go to the gym, go to Jiu jitsu, see my friends and do things that would otherwise keep me sane and not thinking about gambling. I really appreciate this website and every single person that replies to my uploads such as this. When I read the replies I don’t feel like I’m alone in this and it really helps me to move forwards. 

Thanks 🙂 

Calvin

Dear @cal-j,

really glad you have posted about your recent lapse. And really excellent that you have changed your primary email to avoid adverts and offers from gambling sites. These actions both show that your recovery is working - instead of just carrying on you stand up, dust yourself off, reach out for help and put something else in place that will be helpful. This will in turn make your recovery more stable if you are not getting the ads and offers that will trigger you.

I really understand that it is difficult at the moment because all the things that keep you sane are not possible. But I would strongly recommend that you start looking at some creative hobbies to keep yourself focused, entertained and balanced. Studies show that creative, 'makey' hobbies are very beneficial for your mental health because they help calm the mind and because you've made something with your hands it also boosts your self-esteem. Why not start with Lego or a jigsaw puzzle, or google hobbies and see what comes up that might interest you. 

Please keep posting and sharing, and the Helpline/Netline is available 24/7 for additional support.

Wishing you all the best,

Eva 

Forum Admin

Hi Eva 

thank you for your response 🙂 

Yeah I feel good with clear inbox with no triggering spam it feels like another great step. I feel like even though I have relapsed which itself isn’t great but I’m grateful for the positives I should take from it. I agree despite what’s happened I’ve put more layers of protection in place which is a positive. I also walked away when the balance had dropped to zero and didn’t re load anymore money to try and chase it which is massive for me really. I remembered the self loathing and the acting out that came with losing all my money so I suppose I’m learning and acting on what I’ve learnt, drawing on emotional memory and refusing to let it take me back down there. I’ve always had gambling sites blocked on my debit card anyway but some places still let me use it. I’ve also as of today blocked all online use of the card which as a blanket will cover those places that were allowing me to deposit . 

i got this!

Calvin 

Hi Cal,

Thanks for been honest. 

Just remember a few things:

1. The only way of winning at gambling is to walk away from it, entirely for life- the monkey is no longer needed here

2. Fill with your time with productive small activities, such as reading, exercises, paint a master piece, plan or start writing short stories etc. Anything, that is not harming yourself financially and emotionally. When you do this, you will not have the time to ponder on gambling

3. Life will become boring, just appreciate the small pleasure found in simple things- feel the sunshine on your skin, the air that you breath in, sleep etc

Xoi

Stay sane, safe, calm and take one day at a time