Come clean, feel much better

Hello all,

I've been tackling my gambling problem and residual debt since January 18. Pleased to say that the gambling is no longer a problem for me as online was my thing and having registered with GAMSTOP I have just accepted that my time is done and have felt no urge to try and beat the system by finding some random site not registered.

Last week I decided to look at my next tax return due in Jan and was horrified to find out that I was way off what I'd thought owe and what I actually owe (by about £17k!) and have been in a high state of panic since. That was last Thursday and I vowed I would go and talk to my folks about it the following Wednesday (5th Dec), every possible outcome went through my head from big hugs to being thrown out and I tended to dwell on the latter. I dropped into the chatroom the other day and spoke to a couple of the folk on there who advised to come clean and also address my debts head on through the various channels available to me (Netline, Debtline etc.). So, yesterday I took the first step and I went to visit my parents, I won't lie to you as it was not a very nice thing to do and the drive over to their house seemed to last forever. Fortunately my parents were sat together in their front room so I didn't have to gather them up, I sat down took a deep breath and then I began. I explained that I have a gambling problem, for how long I've had it and for how long I've been stopped. I explained my alarm over my findings last week, my losses, residual debt and my worries for the time ahead. My parents listened to me and offered me words of support and the re-affirmation that 'we are family' and to me that is worth more than any financial support. It was a very brief visit as my daughter was due and I didn't really want to see her under these circumstance but I came away beaming inside and with a heavy burden off my back, don't get me wrong I know that I've got a long road ahead and that my home is not safe however those who I care most about now know and are fully supporting me to get through.

I text my mum last night to thank her and dad for listening to me and to let her know that I felt much better for opening up. Here is her reply 'I'm glad you feel better and I am very very glad you told us. It's not often that your dad gets anything right but as he said a problem shared is a problem halved. Anytime you need me I am here for you and I mean that. Never forget that we love you, speak soon x' - so , despite my problems I do feel blessed.

Next challenge is to address the debt but in comparison to coming clean I feel this is the easier of the tasks whatever the outcome.

I've mentioned a daughter so in case you are wondering, I have 4 of them however I'm separated and live alone although I am seeing someone else and was upfront with her from the very start (and she has been fantastic too).

So, if you are sat reading this and haven't shared your problems then I urge you to do so as my mum has summed it up perfectly. I have had the best nights sleep that I've had for a long time and feel ready to take on the challenge ahead of me.

Finally, a big thank you to those in the chatroom for their words of wisdom. I was only in there for a few mins but it helped me a lot.

Thanks for reading and I wish you all the very best.