Hi all
Where do I start? Well it's day one again for me. I'm feeling like I really can do it this time, but I've felt like this before.
It feels like a long distant memory now, that day I won 4k and thought, I'll have some more of this. That was about 2 years ago, since then I've slowly, slowly sunk. I'm 19k in debt. However I do have an escape plan but it's sticking to it that is the hard part. I've managed to keep 12k in the bank. If I steadily pay the debt off now over the coming months I'm free.
I just can't rid myself if the guilt though of what I've done. All that money wasted. All I can think if is 'one more win' to geg it back then I'll stop.
How do I keep to my escape plan?
Thanks
Dave
Hi Dave,
I think the key is to focus on the 19K in terms of the journey and what you learned from it, rather than the actual amount you lost. Fixating on the figure as a waste or bad decision may only drag you back into the cycle, especially as you near the end of your escape plan. I truly believe the satisfaction you feel when you make the final payment of the plan will be 100% better than the way you feel now about the money being a waste. Congratulations on making a goal and sticking to it.
Hi mytibt
Thanks for the message. I woke up early this morning thinking about the loss. I got through yesterday without gambling and I intend to do as you say and think about the lesson learnt here. It's now I realise how deep I was in, needing that fix everyday. I want to put all of this behind me. I'm sure once I've started to put a dent into the debt I'll feel much better. Time is a healer also.
I can't believe gambling got me but I accept it.
Good luck to everyone getting through thier recovery.
I'm feeling loads better as the morning has gone on, a lot better than I thought I would so early on (day 2). The problem with feeling better and accepting the loss is it allows the feelings of excitement to return when you think about gambling. It allows you to feel like you can control your gambling and one more flutter won't hurt. Wrong. I've been here before and I'm not going back. You soon feel the despair once you've lost your first bet and the feelings of guilt and the overwhelming need to chase the loss 'to put things right' return.
For the first time in 2 years I'm really determined to control this.
We all know that a win leads to another bet as we try to continue to put things right, just one more, I'm on a roll, I know what I'm doing.
It all leads to nothing. Back to square one. Keep strong everyone. Take your life back.
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Hi Joydivider
I'm feeling ok at the moment. What I'd normally do is put my debt on the back burner thinking I'll pay it off later as it's interest free credit card. All I do is carry on gambling losing more, I've got 19k to pay off. I used to bet 1k per time, anything less wasn't exciting enough, madness really. I earn 50k per year and have 12k in the bank at the moment. I've not gambled for 3 or 4 days and I have no intention to. I'm going to pay off my debt over the coming months, paying £500 per month. I can't believe how much money I've wasted but I'm over it now. I recon over the years it's easily 40k.
Anyway lesson learnt, it took a while but I'm there now. The last straw was losing 2k 5 days ago. The most I've lost in one day ever was about 6k. Just crazy but when it gets you, you can't control it.
Life is better without gambling, so much so. It takes away who you really are.
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