Hi Everyone,
Im not a frequent poster on here but I do often read these forums as I feel it helps and gives me a sense of clarity when im feeling low as a result of my gambling. I have been unable to stop my gambling and it is totally spiralling out of control again. It is all I think about from the moment i wake up. I disregard everyone else in my life and all my work. Last week i won 1300 pounds on a scorecast bet id placed. I bought myself one designer jacket with this that cost me £350 and blew the rest as a result. Ive done this many many times and never felt as numb about it as i do now usually im disappointed and raging etc but now i just feel low, like i knew it would happen. The money i won didnt even make me happy, infact I was totally miserable thinking how i could make it more and more and more as if it wasnt enough already. My life is boring and mundane, and i cant find anything that im interested in to fill the time i spend gambling. I feel I have a very low mood because of this as although i know i need to stop this, I dont know what else i can do that will make me feel the same way. Even when i do go out drinking or whatever it always has to encompass gambling, ie a trip to the casino and I dont even like playing roulette or casino games but i constantly seek that buzz regardless of how bad my financial situation is. I cant just sit in and watch tv or goto the gym or learn to play music. Ive tried all these things and i very quickly lose interest if i dont see instant results. Ive tried GA ive tried counselling and all i did the whole time was still gamble. Ive just recieved a new job offer and ive signed the contract, this is worth 25k a year more than i earn currently with brilliant prospects however its not even getting me excited. My whole family are constantly telling me how great it is and I couldnt care less. I really need help or I fear my whole life is going to revolve around gambling. Its brought me so many bad times and fall outs, it puts tension on my family and on my realtionship. I lose interest in my work to the point i do nothing but sit and gamble all day. I always tell myself that im going to be strict and try gamble responsibly but it always ends up like this.
I hope someone can give me some pointers as I really dont know what else to do.
Thanks,
Ben
Hi Ben. I guess the biggest question is "do you want to stop?" If you don't really want to, then you won't. Feeling you should, or just being sick of losing, isn't enough. You've got to put the effort in. Maybe when you tried GA and counselling before you weren't ready, but you are now? Being someone's who's read a lot on here, I'm guessing you know the advice to put blocks in place, confide in someone, get support. Break the triangle.
An exciting fulfilled life won't happen as soon as you stop betting. It'll take time to build that and to form the solid connections of an addiction free life. But the further you get away from gambling the more chance you have of finding worthwhile things to fill the gap. No-one stops one day and wakes up to find life a bed of roses the next. Life can be boring, stressful, mundane....it's very easy to think that the buzz of gambling gets rid of that. It dosent really (well only temporarily). You might need to do the same things again with regards the support but do them with wholehearted commitment. Try a different counsellor...or a different meeting...use the gamcare helpline...the nightly chat on here...start a diary.
There's a better life there for you Ben if you're willing to take it.
Wishing you well. LifeBegins x
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