Enough is enough

Poker Steve, you have the luxury for arriving here when you still have a lot of time, a lot of options, and a life that hasn't been damaged too severely. Trawl through the posts and you will find that you are a rarity - you might feel that you are in a dark place but it can get a lot darker, very quickly.

Things will happen for you, marriage, children, mortgage etc; you need to be in tip-top shape for when that time comes.

Rome wasn't built in a day, take it slowly mate, let the urges come, let the go, just concentrate on yourself. The Casino should have a self-exclusion policy too - make some enquiries as soon as you.

You may feel like a terrible person but you are a lucky man and you have everything to gain. Don't let it slip through your fingers. Good luck mate.

P.S. Keep using this Forum, stay in touch - there are some good people here.

Hi Steve, welcome to the Forum,

This may seem like a bad time, but you should be proud of yourself for recognizing the problem and posting here - it is a very positive step. Most people (including myself) come here when it is far, far too late.

If you truly want to stop, then the only thing that can help you is time; compulsive gamblers are generally impatient people by nature, but the longer you go without, zero tolerance, then the more your urges will lessen, and you mind will move onto other things.

You are not a bad person my friend - gambling makes you do bad things and make you take bad decisions; it effects you too much emotionally - this is why others can walk away, win or lose; it doesn't make them react in the same way.

I gambled for twenty years before stopping five years ago - I didn't reach where you are now for a very long time; that is why it is such a positive thing that you are doing; no-one wants to admit they have something in their life that they cannot control, but all of us have to face up to it at some point, and treat it exactly the same as if we had something else that was wrong with us.

Take some time to analyze yourself very deeply; is there anything that drives you towards gambling? Boredom? Depression? The thought of winning "free" money? What can you change in your life where you mind is occupied by positive, constructive things?

This is a sincerely, true story. A good friend of mine was recognized as one of the "best" Poker players in the country and was often on television. He averaged about 3000 - 5000 a month in winnings, gave up his job, bought a new house, his wife became pregnant and everything was good. Suddenly, he had a "bad run" - he lost around 60,000 in two months, and then had several months afterwards where he was breaking even - he panicked and enquired about putting his house on the market, only to be told be was in around 85,000 in negative equity. Suddenly he has no job, no savings, no money to pay his mortgage and a wife about to give birth - he tried desperately to get another job but struggled because he had a three year gap on his CV, but pretty much ended up losing everything; he is currently getting divorced, has moved back in with his parents, and fighting for custody.

Even the very "best" gamblers and poker players lose in the end - you may have some good spots, but it would be almost impossible to be in profit after five/ten years. Nick the Greek was the worlds "greatest" gambler who played for hundreds of millions in the 1950's, but ended up broke, playing for a handful of dollars in a state-funded retirement home.

You have to ask yourself whether you want to follow the same path my friend -you will never actually achieve anything or gain the respect of your peers through playing poker; I lost 350,000 in 20 years of gambling - I regret the time I spent doing it far more than the money; now I do charity work, sing, write, go hiking and much more - I lament all those wasted hours, sitting in dark, dingy rooms, watching my life and my money slowly drift away.

You have a chance to turn things around my friend; the damage is repairable at this point - ask yourself whether that scenario will be the same in a year, or two years; take it slowly, one day at a time, self-exclude from the Casino if you feel the pull is too much at the moment.

Draw a line under the money you have lost - there is nothing you can do to get it back my friend; accept it and move on with your life. Take is slowly, one day at a time; test yourself - part of you isn't sure how much of a hold his has on you so the only way is to find out how you can cope in the coming weeks, without it.

You seem like a good person Steve, and you have a great life in front of you by the sound of it. Gambling will only ever take your time, your money, everything you own and everyone you hold dear - you are better than that, you are better than living a life where this compromises your life and your future.

JamesP