Hey.
First time on this website so hello everybody. I have no idea what to do. About a year and a half ago i was spending all my wages in one day every month until my mum got a phone call from a betting website or something like that saying i was placing bets of a hundred pounds on stuff. I told her it was a lie and it was all just accumulated up from different bets. A few months after that she found one of my bank statements and was really upset with me, but she was there for me aswell as my brother. For a few months after that we decided to put in about half of my wage into a different account of hers. That was good for a while until she told me i was better and decided to let me keep my full wages in my own account again. For the last 4 months i have been gambling all my wages again. I have to wait every month for my wage and the day i get it, i spend it all. Now i finally want to tell my mum and brother about my addiction again, but i have no idea how they will react. I'm too scared to tell them as i promised i wouldn't do it again. I'm only 20, and i feel depressed all the time by this. I need help again but i don't know how to tell my family!
Thanks.
Hi
My name is Michael, Your in the right place first thing you have to do is get as far away from a bet as possible. Try reading and posting on here there are some great people on here with advice. The other thing you will find helpful is handing over your finances to your mum once again. You don't need to tell everything just say your finding it tough and could she help out by managing your money for you. Things will get better but you have to stop gambling for this to happen.
Good Luck
Michael
Content removed by Forum Admin.
Hi ranger,
Just to echo the thoughts of others, I would certainly tell your mum and brother. I know it is daunting and you will feel ashamed, but trust me, better to tackle this now rather than in 5, 10, 20 years' time.
You have a serious problem - it is a disease and it needs to be treated. It won't just disappear one day without you taking action. The feelings of despair and shame you feel at telling your family might just be the spur you need to help you stop.
There is a huge amount of support on this website so take Robert up on the offer of the helpline etc. and I agree it's a great idea to even show your mum this thread to demonstrate how serious you are. It is very difficult for non gambling addicts to understand the mindset of a gambler - all they see are the actions, which cause lots of devastation and cost a lot of money, and it can be easy (and understandable) to judge based on that. I think if your mum and brother spent some time on this site, they will understand you better, and be able to help you better.
It can be very exposing and embarrassing to go through this - I went through the same with my family and, even more shamefully, with my wife's family - but trust me, it is worth it. Everyone will be on your side (even if there is an initial bit of anger which is understandable), and it is much easier to get through this and beat it with the people you are closest to fully aware of the problem and there by your side to support you.
In terms of practical steps, I would suggest handing all control of your money over to your mum for the short to medium term while you work on steps to fight the addiction, thorugh this site or counselling or GA. That is daunting too, and I know you feel you will lose independence. But again, it is a short-term tactic in the context of your whole life. How long for? Hard to say - the important thing is that the control of your money should not be handed back completely until you are 100% confident you don't want to gamble. You may need to allow 'spot checks' of your bank statements for a while afterwards to rebuild the trust and confidence. I know this all sounds a lot but I just want to repeat again, it is better to go through this short-term pain now, rather than waste your 20s away on gambling (as I did).
Good luck - keep posting and let us know how you get on.
All the best,
Ross
Ranger.
The best thing to do is stop the supply. GAMBLOCK would be beneficial in your case. The cost is little to what the potential losses.
I am also similar to you. I have money for 1 or 2 days a month then have to wait 28 days for my wages. No fun is it. Can't go out with friends. Pay day loans spiralling. Depression. Family worries. It's not worth it my friend.
I see it as this. I'd rather spend a day with my son than a day in an arcade (which I used to do). I spent all day in arcades. My summer's would be filled with slot machine usage .... from 10am til 10pm. What a waste of time.
You can do it. Get GAMBLOCK. Self exclude.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
