Fantastic Week

Hi,

Well just the average day to some, usual took the dog to the park, me him, a tennis ball & launcher. This time last year there wasn't any snow. Got  him out of the car & as usual I take his lead off & launch the ball just as I did every day since the first day I took him out. Today's different because when I launch the ball, he grabs it then suddenly snow & ice make his teeth tingle & he drops it almost immediately. He's dancing around this tennis ball woofing & growling like it's teasing him. Grabs it for a second more carrying it towards me then repeats the same behaviour. Wonderful to see this wonderful beast, learn, feel new sensations and experience the 4 seasons we've all come to know. In the meantime thousands of others are pre occupied with odds on offer for whatever, footy, racing slots.

That's only one of the good things. Another forum member reaches out & acknowledges recent posts, a lass who's progress I follow generates such hope. A long lost member returns who gave me hope, wisdom & the strength to carry on when times were tough. He once told me to try & do 1 good deed every day & not be found out. I can honestly say I've tried. A fantastic correspondence from a man who started his journey on the edge of a railway track convinced he'd had enough. who's now fast approaching his 7th GF year.  Someone who's resisted for almost twice as long as I've managed to do. A wonderful lady who's considering residential gambling treatment.

I've grown from a solitary character cut off from reality for so long. I rounded off the day with a £14.95 3 course special at an Indian restaurant with my wonderful wife. Did I pay ?. Do me a favour I'm an OAP. Did she pay ?. Hell no the bail out days are long gone. So the perfect compromise, we paid half each. Good chat, about kids, grandchildren, hopes & aspirations & then came the question I once dreaded. " Have you been gambling ". Looked her straight in the eye & could honestly say NO.

Every day brings a new & wonderful feeling. 1st peace of mind, 2nd re-connecting with the real world. 3rd Seeing a massive loppy eared ball of wool turning into a lion cub. The list is endless, but each day is as much a  world of discovery for me as it is for Barney ( my retriever ). Tomorrow is another day.

Will I gamble come Monday ?. Here's the truth I DON'T KNOW  but I'll try & take the positives of today & use them in order to make Monday every bit as enjoyable as Sunday. I won't look at today & think I've cracked it. Come lunchtime I'll fill my shoulder bag with clean up bags, dog treats & a bottle of water & carry tennis ball with launcher in my car as another 1 and a  half or 2 hour adventure begins.

Still hovering on the edge of a cesspit. I'm one gamble away from a fall.

Best

AL