Hey, I haven't had a bet in just over 5 years but every now and again I get a massive itch to go batshit crazy and try my luck, because I feel the 'gambling gods' will have appreciated the amount of time I've abstained and give me a huge win. I'll take that enormous win and pay off some of my debts and treat those I love to some good things - just to prove what a swell guy I am really.
Bah!
Such subtle and insidious bullsh*t. I'm posting here just to get it off my chest, and to see my words in black and white, outside of me, to remind myself what stooopid tricks my brain is capable of playing on me.
Even now being 5 years clear, all it takes for me is to have a few drinks and a sunny day, and I'm right back to feeling like a god who can beat the system.
I won't bet though. I won't do it, I promise you that. Not because I'm superman, I'm fighting it with every fibre of my being because I remember just how bad I felt back in 09 when I got busy with my ego and credit card.
Anyway, apologies for my rant. I'm just posting selfishly to distance myself from what I feel like doing right now so I can read it back to myself.
Molehole x
keep distancing day 2 for me long way to go but im getting there
Thanks. Keep it real Triangle. 99% of my week is spent without even thinking about gambling now after so long. But I'm just saying that nasty little 1% always lurks.
Hope you fight against it same way as me.
best,
mx
Keep the faith Molehole. I am feeling just like you this evening - must be something about Saturday nights! Now I see my bank balance in the black I got the 'itch' to boost it even further by a nice little win. Crazy! It just goes to show that we can never be complacent with our efforts to stay gamble-free. But we will overcome...
totally. Fight the urge. Fight the ego that says we are different from the sheep and can live a life without effort and get easy money. It's a lie, lie, lie.
Words of wisdom, Molehole - thank you for reminding me. Lovely sunny day today - planning a trip to the park and to enjoy the best things in life being free!
Wow I really tied one on, Saturday night. Apologies for my drunky funky post. But the good news is that I DIDN'T give in to my itch - and urge only lasted about a half hour anyway. So, there's hope going out to you all too. If I, with all my faults can keep saying 'no', then YOU certainly can!
It ain't easy but ride out the urges when they strike in that moment - they don't last forever, and the feeling of not giving in to them in the morning makes me feel like I'm rocking a top hat and cane, flipping a silver dollar as I lurch down the street. 😉
No win has ever felt as good as NOT gambling feels!
Mx
nice molehole
keep riding the abstinence wave
thanks for sharing
Being as you have offered kind words of support I felt the need to repay the kindness and so glad I did
A tough day made better by reading your description of walking down the street flipping a silver coin.
My last waking thoughts are now of jane and peters dad from Mary poppins skipping down a London street with his bowler hat punched through but happy......I never said I wasn't strange lol
Shelly
haha. love the Mary Poppins vibe - I always think of myself as d**k Van d**e doing a terrible English accent and sticking my advice-broom up those Victorian chim chimeny chim cherooo 😉 mx
Let's go fly a kite up to the highest heights oooooohhhh let's go fly a kite :-)))))
Yip feeling itchy myself tonight..mad itchy! But I'll be fine as I'm finished with that black cloud. Nearly 2 years off the f**s as well an I also still think about one most days! Stopped the class A's this year and facebook! Think I am going mad lol
Exactly Shelly. And hi to Lenny too.
Molehole x
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