well it's safe to say iv ficgured out my triggers.
1. Boredom - probably the same as the majority of gamblers. Being sat at home with things to do, none of which you want to. So you log on and spend some money.
2. Feeling of not being good enough - wanting to prove to people I am clever and intelligent and can do better. In gambling a case by winning money. Trying to prove I'm the loophole in the norm.
3. Anger - pure and simple. Whenever my boyfriend speaks to me like I am beneath him (which he genuinely doesn't do vindictively or with real meaning behind it) I flip a switch. Like I think well.. f you I will just go and do whatever I want. Which in our case is gambling. Because I would never ever do anything else to jepordise us. This will sound ridiculous to anyone who doesn't know me or us. It's not. I get angry and this is my outlet since last October for some unknown reason. Gambling like its a tool. Except when I wake up the next morning I regret everything and can't admit, this is where the lies start.
Jesus being a gambler is no fun. Having this addiction is no fun. There are a lot of other factors in our relationship that I can't get into, they just come with having disposable income (on his part not mine anymore, since going part time) that I cannot get into on here as is a completely different thing. But iv realise now those are my 3 triggers.
I also realise now only I can stop them from affecting me which is why Iv just posted no one else can just me. I
A great post Bexsta your starting a journey of self discovery. A good moment of clarity.
I think you would benifit from starting a diary in the diary section I for one would take a lot following your journey.
KTF
Yes and I think you will do well because you are having a moment of clarity which other gamblers can take a long time to deal with
Best wishes
I 100% relate to your first 2 triggers. Boredom and a feeling of complete emptiness, loneliness and inadequecy took my gambling from fun to completely out of control. It feels good to know the triggers but it is scary facing them and finding ways to overcome them without gambling.
Best wishes with your journey
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