Gambling from grief?

Hi Vikki,

Welcome to the forum, you have come to the right place.

I won't give you too much advice as there are others who can probably do so better than myself. It may be useful for us to know the type of gambling that is the problem (horses, online casinos, FOBTs etc.) as this will affect the best immediate course of action.

Debt may seems like a big problem now but it is merely a symptom of the ACTUAL problem so try not to get too bogged down by it. Deal with the gambling and the debt will sort itself in time. If it is causing you immediate problems then contact your creditors to discuss a freeze of interest or potential repayment plan, alternatively, contact StepChange.

I can't advise on telling your partner but the common consensus it that openness and honesty is an important step to recovery (you may also find he is more supportive than you expect). Whatever you do, tell SOMEONE close to you as gambling thrives on secrecy and, the more people who know, the less opportunity you will have to gamble.

I will leave it there as, like I say, others may be better placed to advise.

Good luck though, you'll find a lot of support on the forum.

Hi Vikki

Welcome to the forum, we ALL understand! I really tried to avoid telling my husband about the mess I had got into financially but I realised that I could not stop without his support so I told him and it was hard and he's really struggling with it, but together we came up with a plan to deal with the debt. Its only been 5-6 weeks so early days but I have learned that true recovery requires complete honesty and also someone else to take control. Knowing he is looking at my bank account is for me a real deterrent, along with blocks on my devices. Reading other people diaries helped, along with counselling.....it helped my husband to know what I had done to get help before I told him.

Thanks for getting back to me. It's online slots that have gotten the better of me. I was always, well nearly always, able to get my money back, until recently. The gambling and borrowing only got bad around September/October last year. My dad hung himself in October 2015 and I think the gambling has stemmed from the fact I have not grieved or let myself grieve. But I cannot be sure. Its good to know there are others in the same position as me. I guess what makes me feel even more awful on my partner is that I'm a stay at home mum while he works a job he hates for not great pay, so really it's like I've kicked him in the teeth getting into debt with no means of my own to repay.
Like I said I have acknowledged there is a problem and organised the doctors. I've also self excluded and set up my sky shield to ban all the sites I used to use. I haven't even looked at then since Earlynhours Saturday.

I know what you mean, my husband really wants to retire early and that means paying off the mortgage and I've just put that back by about 2 years due to gambling. Luckyily I work so can pay my debts but he had to take over the utilities I used to pay so that I can focus on the debt.

For me it was online slots too, started with Bingo and then moved onto slots, and it took me a long time to realise I was never going to get the money back.

We all have our triggers for gambling, do you know that you can get counselling through gamcare? Explore that too as I think it might be quicker than services available through GP....and of course its a specialist service for our addiction. Let us know how you get on.