Gave in again, why do we do this?

Firstly I have been in the same pos as you so many times. Only this week did I fully explain the problems of my gambling with everyone. I know you probably don't want to here this but without telling everyone around you what you do, to the extent you do it I don't think it ever goes away. It's so easy to do and people who don't suffer with gambling find it so hard to understand. It's like you know what you're doing is wrong but you can't help but do it. You realise that the money is a lot but still you bet more. It's very difficult to tell everyone. But now I have I feel like there are no secrets, that all the cards are on the table and I have a support network around me that I can tell if I have urges. What do you bet on? And what do use to bet with if you quit your job?

All the best. Simon

Hi

I told my husband 8 weeks ago and have not gambled since. My debt spiralled up to 11k and I could sometimes sit and spend 3 or 4 grand at a time. Since telling my husband things have been so much easier. He now has full access to my accounts and can look whenever he wants. We had to devise a plan to work out how to pay the debt so we took out a loan and then split all out money etc. Luckily I'm still at a point where I'm. Not completely skint which is how you need to look at it. You've got savings.. don't blow them cause that's what will happen. Give your savings to someone else if you need to and yes £400 is a lot but things could be a whole lot worse.

I agree though talking to someone is the best thing you can do. It's pulled me out of that place because let's face it gambling leads to all sorts of other feelings which probably make us want to gamble again.

Stay strong!

Telling my girlfriend has deffinately helped. My main problem is keeping myself busy doing other things, i had a bad month in October then had a month off it all and now having so much free time it got me hooked again, i couldnt go out with my gf without having a bet on my phone and the more i lost the worse it would get.

First of all I'd like to say well done for that entire month of no gambling. You should be proud of that.

I know all too well the knock back a slip up feels like. I've had many and have been distraught over them. But we need to concentrate on the positive steps we take to stay in control of our addiction.

We're all on here supporting one another for a start. Blocking software is good, but I found removing access to cash worked for me when I was at my worst. No credit or debit cards, no way to place a bet. I asked my parents to step in and I'd need to request any cash I wanted from them, and give a reason for what I needed it for. They had access to my accounts and sorted bills for me too. I found it hard sometimes, I didn't like having to be treated like a child, but at the same time I had no financial worries at all. It really helped while I got on top of the gambling.

I've since moved into a new place, got my cards and accounts back. I've also had a slip. Not much, only £50 compared to the hundreds and thousands I'd gamble away in past years, but that slip has really brought my focus back. I'd drifted off from checking into this site over the months and I'd sort of forgotten or allowed myself to ignore the fact I'm a gambling addict who compulsive gambles. I need to remember that's who I am, and stay focused always so that I can remain in control of my addiction.

Never let your guard down. Keep checking in here, supporting others, and yourself.

Find hobbies, I took up tennis for a while, now I'm learning Spanish. But mostly keep talking to friends and family. Share your gambling thoughts and feelings. If we isolate ourselves we leave ourselves more vulnerable x

Pick yourself up, and carry on. Stronger and wiser than before. One day at a time. And be proud of every day you're bet free 🙂

All the best x

That's a lovely story to hear. How.long have you been stopped for? I feel like that's what has helped me so far the constant checks on accounts and money. I've really enjoyed the past few months and have done things as a family that I may have done before. Nothing too extravagant but days out and meals out buying clothes. It's so lovely to do. Since I told my husband I don't feel like i have had an urge at all which is good but I don't don't that they will return. Those feelings that u have when youre gambling are indescribable and so destructible.

Been a month now since my last collapse, have blocked all my online sites and now i only stick to £5 a week betting in my local bookie. I think the main problem for me was how easy it is to get carried away online, in my worst spell i deposited and lost £400 in a few hours, its crazy looking back now but i just didnt think and realise at the time how bad my problem was. Im keeping track of my betting now and feel that by not being able to bet online and keeping busy doing other things instead that im in a better place.

Hi jds90

You've made some good steps but I just get the sense that you are going to have to do some more talking with your girlfriend and make sure everything is clear and out on the table. Theres no shame and all the steps have to be in place. She has to be quite clear that willpower alone will never be enough in most cases.

You will have to hand over your wages while you firmly prove yourself. I do worry about the bookie betting because they have machines in there and a gambling mind is a strong addiction force.

In a way I would like to see you hand your phone over but accept youve made some good steps there. The main thing is getting off those online machines. I also blew around £2000 last year and I have now self excluded. Im kicking myself for not having done it earlier. If I had a girlfriend Im sure she would have had all my money from last February onwards

I do believe it seeps out of you when your priorities are right.

All the best to you

I have already said to my girlfriend that once i get a new job i will give my wages to her, i want to do that and she agrees its a good move. Were only 25 and 23 and want to start saving properly to eventually move into our own place.

Had been having a good time today, I've had counselling since last August and apart from a minor blip at Christmas I've been doing ok, until today I crashed and burnt on the FOBT's. I ignored all my triggers and paid the price, it's not the money lost to me although that hurts it is the fact I did it.

I don't think there is much I can do apart from learn from the experience and not get caught again.

Argh. Had been sticking to my £5 a week betting in high street bookies until i realised i had one site i hadnt blocked myself on. So i fancied a £10 deposit see what i could do with it and its ended up costing me £50. Ive been keeping track and was £22 down until today in last 6 weeks without online betting then i bet online and in space of 2 hours i have trebled my overall loss over last 6 weeks. Its not a lot but its so annoying as was doing well till then, have now blocked all my sites and will stick to in shop betting i hate betting online!

tony321 wrote:

Had been having a good time today, I've had counselling since last August and apart from a minor blip at Christmas I've been doing ok, until today I crashed and burnt on the FOBT's. I ignored all my triggers and paid the price, it's not the money lost to me although that hurts it is the fact I did it.

I don't think there is much I can do apart from learn from the experience and not get caught again.

Hi tony321

I try to help and its something you must talk about. Have you no exclusion blocks in place because everytime the willpower lapses it will get you.

I did 10 months of intermittent gambling. I did break for 2 months but with no blocks I was just kidding myself.

When the gamble did come it usually got way out of control...the following two weeks were getting the bills straight so I was kidding myself that it was willpower instead of blind panic. I was deluding myself due to the addiction by patting myself on the back for six days off so it was ok to have a flutter

When I finally excluded it was a weight off. Its easy and you can do it with pride. Its no hassle and just £5 for a few photographs. I think thats the best fiver Ive ever spent.

You cant spend on the fobts if youre not allowed in. The feeling of being free from that nightmare is great as you know. I commend you on any time free from gambling but the real test is after the big blocks are in place.

Jds90 wrote:

Argh. Had been sticking to my £5 a week betting in high street bookies until i realised i had one site i hadnt blocked myself on. So i fancied a £10 deposit see what i could do with it and its ended up costing me £50. Ive been keeping track and was £22 down until today in last 6 weeks without online betting then i bet online and in space of 2 hours i have trebled my overall loss over last 6 weeks. Its not a lot but its so annoying as was doing well till then, have now blocked all my sites and will stick to in shop betting i hate betting online!

This is worrying jds and youve got to talk it through. If you continue gambling you may think you can control it but the losses mount and one day you could just flip and binge big time

all the symptoms are still there like £10 turning to £50 and youve been online again.

You have to be deadly serious about it and get back to talking about whether its caused you a problem or not. You have to be ready to stop. Its not about dabbling with it to see if you can stop losing.

shop betting will lead to relapse and complete loss of control. Problem gamblers cant stop which is why you were worried in the first place

You will get there when you are fully ready. we worry about you..that is all

Take it easy

With me its just boredom, im looking for work at the minute and thought i would just have a £10 deposit see what i could do and if u could stop myself from depositing more, i just couldnt. As long as im down i just try and win it back till im even again thinking that i surely will. Ive blocked every site now so back to no online gambling, is there a way i can just permanantly block myself from using these gambling sites?