I don’t want to be this person anymore…

Hi

It is important to understand that beating my self up is not very healthy.

That beating my self up is counter productive.

In time I got to exchange every unhealthy habit in to healthy habits. 

Abstaining only was white knuckling recovery.

By giving up every unhealthy habit I both wanted and needed to repalce it woth some healthy habits.

Over the years many people have not invested enough tie and energy in to their recovery.

Fear and procrastination are were very unhealthy habits.

I learned that every pain in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.

Before my recovery most of my fears were ten out of ten.

Going to meetings with therapies helped me so much in reducing my fears.

By reducing my fears my trsut grew in my self.

The consequences of addiction is low self esteem, being hard on my self, not commiting my self to my needs and my wants.

Arriving late made it hard for me, I started to arrive half an hour before my appointments.

The fear of step four was due to my fears of being honest to my self.

As a child when askled to be honest I was always caused pains and suffering.

I am able to ask for help that is a sign of strength.

When going to a store I use to fear ask for help or directions now it is so easy.

I ask for help and advice in what is the best option whenmaking decisions.

My guilt and my shame was the consequences of me having a healthy conscience based up on spiritual values.

I am a anon religious person due to religious people inmy life causing me pains.

So I embrace spiritual values which lead to a healthy life.

People who justify doing harm are unhealthy people.

Once we make much healthier choices our confidence builds, we also learn to be proud of our self.

I also learned that being in a recovery program we are  all equal to each other no matter when our last bet was.

That each time we break out is alesson if we want to learn from our last emotional trigger. 

In time we learn to love our self, we also learn to respect our self.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Please don't beat yourself up cpp. I'm back at day 10, after nearly losing everything. My partner of 20 years, not being able to cope with another relapse, ended it. I was destroyed and realised then I had reached my rock bottom in recovery. I couldn't let gambling take everything from me. So im so determined now never to relapse again because I know for sure , if it happened again, my partner really would go and not give me another chance like he has this time, thankfully. But it was the shock I needed, why should gambling take what we love most. 

You can do this. Come on chat and accept support, were all here for you. We can do this. Gambling will not beat us right.... we can't let it ?

Stay strong. If its on what I think it is, get rid. We don't need that, we can communicate with friends and family by text ,calls and in person, we don't need social media. You've done it before, you can do it again. Stay ?