hi, I've posted a couple of times in the past, a half arsed attempt at quitting gambling but now I'm serious. I'm on the brink of losing everything. I can't even look at my kids due to my latest session. I'd promised them the cinema this weekend but I gambled all the money away and can barely afford to feed them nevermind treat them. I'm an awful mum I really am. I love them so much but I'm destroying them. My partner is at his wits end with me, he's took my engagement ring off me. I've took out loans in his name which I can no longer afford repayments on so I'm going to have to come clean in the next couple of weeks. I'm going to lose him and he's already threatened me with police when I did it once before. I'm going to GA on Tuesday for the first time and I'm petrified....I just don't know what to expect. I've sold everything I own of value to fund either gambling, or the debts I owe as a result. How do I even begin to get through any of this. I have bipolar too and in the depths of a depressive episode at the moment and I really don't see any light at the end.
I need support through this.
Hi Linz.... well you came here... thats a good start, what happens from now its really down to you. Focus on the things you can influence and make them count. Rock bottom sucks.. but there is way out of there, good luck
Enjoy recovery Linz ... All the best!
Hi Linziluv86
Welcome to the forum and well done for being so honest about your difficulties.
You will find some amazing support here on the forum so do keep reading and posting and letting us know how you are doing.
It is great that you are going to attend a Gamblers Anonymous meeting don't be scared you will be among friends and I'm sure you will receive a very warm welcome.
I would also encourage you to call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 and speak to an adviser who can listen to your concerns and talk to you about strategies to help you to stop and also facilitate a referral for free counselling. We are open everyday 8am until midnight. If you prefer you can also contact us on the netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline#.VBhpbfldXww
Best wishes
Forum admin
Wow I'm overwhelmed with the responses. I thought I was going to get a strip torn off me for defrauding those I'm supposed to love. I've told my psychiatrist everything and he wasn't shocked I guess bipolar has a lot to answer for. I don't want to end up lonely and seeing my kids part time but I can see that's where this is going. It's took 9 months to completely destroy my life.
God I'm so depressed I can't believe gambling has such a hold on me.
Hi Linz don't be afraid of GA it's the best place. My husband is cg with bipolar 2, he's gambled for a long time. He said to me last week "where are the women gamblers?" You will get great support, advice and a chance to listen to others. You're not a bad person, you need help but you have to ask for it. Good luck on Tuesday, go and get some help
It doesn't seem to affect as many women does it? I don't know any women with a real gambling problem then again I don't have any friends anymore so not really got anything to compare to! I know I'm 100% to blame but I truly believe this mess wouldn't be happening if I were mentally well.
Today is the day I stop gambling and try and prove to my family that I'm not a complete waste of space. I just really don't know how my partner is going to react to the loans....particularly because I've essentially forced him to have to go down the debt management route, which I'll obviously pay, and that's if he doesn't go to the police, which he has every right to. I'm just scared, I've never been in trouble wit the police before and have no idea what'll happen to me.
I don't know if there are less women, just not at his meeting. I'm sure you're scared, maybe he said it to try and stop you. It's so difficult to deal with when it's surrounded in lies and secrecy. All I know is my house is so much calmer when the gambling is stopped.
Hi Linz, I think you'll be surprised @ how many women this affects...I have a 'dazzling' 30 year career behind me 🙁 I'm fortunate enough to be able to work full time & have the bank of Nan behind me otherwise, there's no doubt in my mind I would have merrily skipped down the payday loan route convinced I could gamble my way out of the trouble that gambling had gotten me into! Without being too stereotypical, most women that gamble are secret gamblers trying to hold families together with their bare hands & turn to it as an escape! Men seem to be dragged in my peers and more have been in action in shops & therefore their gambling on the whole is more open. It's also socially acceptable so as I see it, the male transition is from gambler to problem gambler whereas a woman goes straight to problem once they know they need to reach out. More & more women are going to GA but we're still heavily outnumbered...No-one likes to admit they can't help themselves so there is a stigma attached to it, until you attend & give the program your all & realise it works if you work it!
I hope your partner can see how brave you have been facing up to your fears & that you can find a way through together - ODAAT
Hi Linzi, well done coming here. I go to GA, first meeting I was scared, but the support and warmth in the room put an end to that. The group I go to, about a third of the room are women some nights. Give it 90 days, you will find things improve. Best wishes.
I'm finding myself quite excited about the GA meeting now you've all,put my mind at rest.
Odaat I think you've hit nail on the head, I work full time in a job I loved, trying to keep a family together, mental health problems....i think it is an escape. I'm off work sick for a while and have far too much time on my hands. I need a hobby and to develop new interests but it's so hard when all I think about is gambling.
Thank you everyone for your kind replies you've made me feel far less alone x
Reading your post was like reading about myself. I have two children and have been a CG for 3 years. I myself promise the kids treats, usually after I've had a win but then I go and lose it all and can't take them. I have debts (although in my own name) that my husband doesn't know about.
I know you feel awful about everything you have done, but it's an illness and being bipolar can make a gambling problem much worse. I have depression and anxiety amongst some other illnesses and I think gambling at the start was a distraction for this. But all gambling has done is made me 100x worse.
We are all here for you, any support you need you can come here and good luck with the GA it'll help you so much. I have no words of wisdom as I myself am still reeling from a big loss over the weekend, but enough is enough. We can overcome this, and we WILL.
Keep picturing life without gambling, and money in the bank and keep in within your sights. Think of how you will feel much more emotionally stable once you stop. This is a long road ahead but take each day as it comes, every day gamble free will be a victory
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
