It's been a while, but sadly I'm back

Hi Cameron, welcome back, sorry it isn’t in better circumstances my friend,

Overconfidence can me a compulsive gamblers worst enemy; after a long and successful period of recovery, we experience such a high level of euphoria that we think we are “cured”, which can sometimes lead to “What harm can one small bet do?”, and then suddenly, we are spiralling out of control again at a rate of knots.

You ask why you let this happen and you don’t learn from your mistakes? Well (and this is not a criticism my friend, we are all equal here), it is because you don’t want to inwardly admit that you have something in your life that you can never control, you struggle to come to terms with the fact that you can never gamble again. If you feel tempted, then this must be at the forefront of your mind, even if you have gone many years without gambling – you might be ok for a couple of goes, then on that third go you snowball into financial oblivion.

Make that debt mean something, if it is a noose around your neck, then make it a good noose – if you stop now, for good, forever, then that will be a drop in the ocean compared to what you will lose in the coming years, and decades. At 24, you have time on your side, and you are fortunate enough to have few responsibilities – imagine if you were married to your partner, imagine if you had children, imagine if they relied on every penny you made every month; you are young, and there many bumps in the road at that age my friend – the main thing is drawing a line under it, accepting who you are and your limitations as a person.

6 months is a wonderful achievement; there is no reason you can’t turn that into a year, or six years; all you have to do is remember that all it takes is one bet for you to potentially lose everything – the urges lessen, you know that, you have felt that, but what you must remember is that however you feel, that situation is never going to change. Don’t look at it as a weakness, look at it as a positive thing that you found and managed to control it at 24, instead of 34, 44, 54 and beyond.

Be strong, be positive my friend – work out what you are going to do, plan a positive way forward and work your way back to where you were.

JamesP

Hi Cameron. I really feel for you, my son is 26 and also has problems with gambling. You have previously had really good spells of abstaining so you know you are able to do it. You are young so yes you have time to try and overcome this addiction. You need to put everything you have into stopping, handing over finances, blocking software, excluding. You don't want to be looking back in 1,2, 3, 5, 10, 20 years thinking 'why am I still doing this'. I was devestated for my son when I found out, it's a stressful, lonely and secretive life. I wish you well on your recovery and hope you can move on and have a happy life without gambling. Wcid x

I'm going to be slightly tougher on you fella. I recognise myself in your actions and you need to give yourself a slap and stop depositing money, no matter how small. Let's look at this logically, you've at least got the knowledge now that even a 20 quid deposit ends in stress, considerably more debt, and the possible loss of your girlfriend. It's not f*****g worth it mate. Block yourself EVERYWHERE, kill off that idle temptation to just have a mini bet. Do you think alcoholics can just have one shot for old times sake? Exactly. Don't be hard on yourself for the slips, it's happened, you're lucky you can wipe the mess up, and be thankful for what you do have. I presume you've got your health, your future is an unwritten book, and okay you'll have constraints for a year, but that's the price you pay to clear yourself of this horrible affliction. Surely it's worth it? You've got your whole life ahead of you, focus on the bigger picture and try not to let gambling take your positive outlook from you as well as your cash. It's taken enough, tell it to f**k off eh. Wish you all the best dude

Hi Cameronwat,

Wise words already dispensed on previous posts. I've gone 461 days free now. What I can say is when a gambler has had a real sickener and reach a low ebb, they set off with good intentions. I don't ever want to gamble again so on and so forth. For a while things go well and then temptation beckons and off we go. History repeats itself and we are back on "q***r Street". You have got to have the strongest measures in place to prevent a future relapse. That's the key to it for me. Put your entire finances in the hands of a trusted family member. Make them only allow you the bare minimum money to cover daily expenses. Block all gambling accounts and self exclude.

I still get pangs but cannot physically do anything about it and the feeling passes.

I feel if you don't implement measures then as sure as night follows day you'll relapse. You have the potential for a great life ahead of you so don't wreck it all. I've lost relationships because of my addiction and would not wish for anyone else to feel the pain I have in the past.

Take Care Now.