My story

Huskydawg wrote:

Guilt is my biggest problem however I think it may also be the biggest road block on my road to recovery. The more I dwell on things the more likely I am to relapse into gambling behaviour. What's gone is gone and what's done is done. It's good to look back and remember but not to dwell. If you stop gambling now the money lost in the past will become immaterial through time. More importantly you will be on the road to reclaiming your life. I have about £9000 in debt which is down to playing online roulette/FOBTs. I have set myself a personal challenge to clear that in 12-15 months. I want to clear it, as I feel once I have, then I will truly be able to move on. We all make mistakes, but you haven't harmed anyone but yourself. What's important is learning from our mistakes and although it may seem like a harsh lesson now, in reality in the scale of things it's a drop in the ocean.

You're right in what you say mate. I've just sat down and written out a monthly budget for everything that is coming in and going out this month (including for social commitments) and I actually feel a bit better now as although I'll be well into my overdraft by next payday, at least I know I can pay for everything and if I can stay sensible by the end of the year I can be back where I was a few weeks ago financially. Clearing 9k in 12 to 15 months should be achievable mate. I don't know what your income is but you should make sure you have some money each month to treat yourself also as that may then stop you from relapsing into gambling again. For me I find that it's when I'm at home alone that I gamble most recklessly. If I'm out with my wife or mates I tend not to have any real need to gamble so it's about keeping busy.

The good thing about forums like this is that you realise that you are not alone with your problems. Although gambling can affect us all in different ways, for a lot of us the symptoms and effects experienced are the same. Your experiences and consequences to gambling are like mines. You have a well paid job so money shouldn't be an option. Gambling had drained your resources and although you are not where you want to be, the situation is very salvageable. I'm sure your gambling has left you feeling confused, angry, depressed, bitter, weak, moody. When you got a win it lifted your spirits into a state of euphoria but that was only a temporary feeling of happiness. Most of the time you were irritable, edgy, had trouble sleeping, couldn't settle, were constantly rebudgeting, angry that you lost hard earned money. It was like a viscious circle that you kept jumping into. With a bit of abstinence hopefully you will see that you were self destructing and allowing gambling to control your life.

Huskydawg wrote:

The good thing about forums like this is that you realise that you are not alone with your problems. Although gambling can affect us all in different ways, for a lot of us the symptoms and effects experienced are the same. Your experiences and consequences to gambling are like mines. You have a well paid job so money shouldn't be an option. Gambling had drained your resources and although you are not where you want to be, the situation is very salvageable. I'm sure your gambling has left you feeling confused, angry, depressed, bitter, weak, moody. When you got a win it lifted your spirits into a state of euphoria but that was only a temporary feeling of happiness. Most of the time you were irritable, edgy, had trouble sleeping, couldn't settle, were constantly rebudgeting, angry that you lost hard earned money. It was like a viscious circle that you kept jumping into. With a bit of abstinence hopefully you will see that you were self destructing and allowing gambling to control your life.

It's actually only the last month that things have gone badly wrong. Before that I was making money albeit in very stressful ways (normally lumping on short priced favourites) but it's gone downhill very quickly and betting like that is just not sustainable and is highly stressful. In the scheme of things, being about 2500 overdrawn isn't a big issue but I guess what has scared me is the rapidity with which things can deteriorate. If I don't take evasive action now in a year or two my finances could be in a catastrophic state so it's time to stop.

Well you know what you need to do and it seems you have thought long and hard about your situation. You realise it's time to draw a line. Hopefully things will sort themselves!

Huskydawg wrote:

Well you know what you need to do and it seems you have thought long and hard about your situation. You realise it's time to draw a line. Hopefully things will sort themselves!

Yes. Hope you can sort all of your debt out as well. Will power is what we need.

Forget what you've lost, it's gone. Dwelling over it will only make you want to chase it back. I know I've been there. My last betting weekend I lost 4k. Typically, I changed my bet at the last minute, 2 minutes later that bet would would have won 1k, instead the bet I switched to lost me 2k! I had to let it go and haven't gambled since. When it's good you feel invincible, the main man who can get free money. When it's bad, boy its bad. Things can spiral out of control. You'll get your money back, you just need to give it some time. I feel 1000 times better than I did a week ago. Good luck.

Smithy_2015 wrote:

Forget what you've lost, it's gone. Dwelling over it will only make you want to chase it back. I know I've been there. My last betting weekend I lost 4k. Typically, I changed my bet at the last minute, 2 minutes later that bet would would have won 1k, instead the bet I switched to lost me 2k! I had to let it go and haven't gambled since. When it's good you feel invincible, the main man who can get free money. When it's bad, boy its bad. Things can spiral out of control. You'll get your money back, you just need to give it some time. I feel 1000 times better than I did a week ago. Good luck.

Cheers mate and very true. I'm feeling ok about it now. Still irritated but what's the point in feeling depressed about it. I'm just gonna forget about it this week as have a few things on and busy at work as well as a stag do to go on at the weekend. No-one has died and it's only money.

Hi All

Just a quick update since I last posted. I have gambled since unfortunately which isn't ideal but due to self excluding from most of my accounts and setting limits of 20 per week on the 3 accounts I have left open, I have at least not lost any significant money. I know this isn't ideal but I think I need to take baby steps towards stopping completely at the moment rather than going complete cold turkey. Importantly I have felt no urge whatsoever to chase my losses of last month which is what has put me in this position in the first place. I have accepted that the money I lost is gone and that I won't win it back. In addition, the fact that I'm having to watch every pound I spend this month is really making me determined never to go back to old gambling behaviours and hopefully to be able to ultimately stop altogether. My state of mind is now more one of annoyance with myself rather than hatred for myself which is good. I realise that my betting last month was sheer madness and this few weeks where I am having to watch my spending very closely has made me really appreciate the value of money, something I had not done for years.

Therefore all in all whilst I haven't given up gambling yet I'm hoping I will be able to build towards that and I do think that this experience has changed my whole attitude to betting and money in general. Betting is simply not something you can hope to make a second income out of as I thought a couple of months ago. However good a run you are on it will end at some point and the bookies always win so that realisation is helping me. Any betting that is done should be purely for entertainment and not as a way of making money. Of course for problem gamblers that is hard to rationalise but I'm trying to develop my mind to that mindset and eventually towards the mindset that doing this at all is completely pointless.

What kills me is the cartoon racing in Lads Broke ... They are so fixed, and yet I convince myself that they are fair.. I have probably lost £10k over the last ten years betting on favourites in these cartoon races.. Wish I could just stop permanently, did self exclude myself from local shop but after a year or so started in there again.. Hate it, feel I've wasted my life even though lovely wife and two great kids.. And a great successful job, well paid... Constant battles with the gambling ...

OneDayMoreLesMis wrote:

What kills me is the cartoon racing in Lads Broke ... They are so fixed, and yet I convince myself that they are fair.. I have probably lost £10k over the last ten years betting on favourites in these cartoon races.. Wish I could just stop permanently, did self exclude myself from local shop but after a year or so started in there again.. Hate it, feel I've wasted my life even though lovely wife and two great kids.. And a great successful job, well paid... Constant battles with the gambling ...

I've never actually gambled on anything other than sport so I'm not familiar with that mate but hope you can stop. Rather than going completely cold turkey you may want to try to gradually wean yourself off if you can do it without lumping. It isn't an ideal method but I've found that reducing my limits to the bare minimum has helped these last 2 weeks. The problem with trying to abstain completely is that after a few days the urges become greater and greater and there is a danger of just exploding one day and going nuts with the stakes. My last bet was Sunday and I have not had a bet that is more than 50 pounds since 24th May which I'm pretty pleased with at the moment. I'm hoping that gradually I can remove the urge altogether.

Thanks ... True enough, after few days of self loathing, the positive vibes come back, and I feel confident in having a good session of betting... But I've now realised that I've never actually gone in and won won won... I'm always instantly on the back foot and chasing.. Which is totally stupid.. Then it becomes a matter of up the stakes to win back losses.. Vicious circle.. Oh well, one day at a time...

Checking in day 1!!!!

Had a bad lapse!