I don't even know where to start....I'm only 25 and I have already ruined everything! I promised my partner that I would stop gambling last year as it was a case of him leaving if I didn't. But then 6 months ago I started to feel depressed and lonely so I started again, it just made me feel better for some reason! It wasnt just small amounts either, I spent every spare bit of money I had on online slots! But then we had a massive blow out and aired everything that wasn't working between us and we fell back into place! I am so happy now and haven't felt the need to gamble for 2 weeks at least but this morning he found out about the gambling and says he is leaving! And now I'm lost because I know that if he leaves I'm going to want to gamble again even though I know it's going to make things worse!
I feel so much better without the gambling and I really don't want to go back to it.....I really need some help or advice please!! X
Hello Tonilouise
Thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear how things have developed in your relationship. I guess what I'm curious about is why knowing how good you felt not gambling, you would want to return to it? No judgement, just curious what your thoughts are.
From what you have shared it seems as if the reason your partner has said that he is leaving is because of the gambling; no doubt a really scary prospect were he to leave, but to use gambling to feel better knowing that it will only make you feel worse, is keeping you trapped within that negative cycle you are trying to get out of.
Are you in counselling at the moment? If not maybe consider contacting the Helpline or Netline for further information; it might help. Keep posting, it is important to keep communicating. Well done so far.
Best regards
Forum Admin.
Hi Tonilouise, first and foremost welcome to the forum 🙂
You’ve definitely come to the right place. It’s generally a happy and safe place to visit.
It shows that you are not alone and that you are not fighting this addiction alone. There are many, many others, myself included, in the same boat.
From your partners perspective, it must be shattering to hear about your gambling shenanigans after you promised him last year that you would stop. That must have been a hard pill to swallow.
He will have felt lied to and cheated on. In some ways you can understand his reaction.
If it were me, I would be doing everything in my power to prove to him that I was serious about quitting for good.
Counselling and GA meetings could be something to consider.
My girlfriend checks my bank account regularly after I gave her the go-ahead to do so. I wanted to have her check up on me every month or so, in order to feel as though any temptations I may have Would possibly lead to her finding out.
I want to show her how serious I am.
You may have to wait a while for the dust to settle, but one thing that you shouldn’t do in the mean time, is gamble. That can only make things worse, both in the short term and long term. No good can come from it.
Start a diary in the ‘recoveries’ section and whenever you feel any negetive (or positive) feelings, then write them down on here. I can guarantee that people on here WILL read them and some will reply back with their opinions/suggestions etc.
A much better life is out there for the taking. A happier, more fulfilling life.
Wishing you all the best. Good luck whatever you choose.
Dan x
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