Rock bottom

Hi Amy,

I resonate with you. 100%. i've got a little girl (2 1/2 yr old) and another one on the way. The best advice would be to take up new hobbies and get yourself off the sofa in the evenings. Its hard to achieve when you're exhausted from the day/kids but you need to do it.

re blocking software, Gamban worked really well for me. www.gamban.com

Acknowledgement is the first step to recovery.

Wishing you well.

Hi WD90. Thanks for the advice. Yes I really really want to stop altogether. I want to have a normal day where it doesn’t take over my thoughts and just do normal things like other people. It’s not the losing that’s the worst bit for me, it’s the frustration and anger, feeling of numbness while I’m doing it, and loss of control that I hate. I think this gamblock might be better for me, as I know there is not loopholes for me to find, it’s not gambling and that is that.

I hope u are doing well x

Hi hopenglory, thank u too for the advice. Boredom is my downfall and having the same routine is what leads me to the sites. I am trying to get myself more motivated but I need a rocket up my a... I think!

Iv moves on from today’s slip. I got so angry I could of just screamed. How are u getting on x

Amy...its an addiction and a compulsion...thats why you cant just stop. Will power alone wont work in many cases thats why its so important to get the blocks in place so that when that compulsion hits you (and it will) you will not be able to gamble. Replapses and setbacks are normal unfortunately. But the relapse isnt the important thing...its how you move forward from it thats important. Each time you learn something new about yourself and if you are absoutely determinded to find a way to gamble, then you will succeed! Thats why closing the loop holes are so important as you go through the withdrawl process. You have to keep trying. It is hard, but you can succeed. Get the PC and phone blocker..eg gamban. Give your cards to your husband so you dont have the means to gamble. You can do this...just keep trying and keep moving forward another step closer each time.

Set yourself a one week goal...you made it to 6 days before...try make it one week this time

Hi stace.. don’t worry about it I’m sure it won’t matter. Don’t be so hard on yourself ur doing great and really trying hard which is the main thing. Hope u are ok, if u need to talk to someone I am here, prob not got advice like many others as I myself am struggling but if u want to let off some steam I’m here! Amy x

Day 1 for me. I had horrible dreams all night about gambling. It’s literally haunting me 🙁

Morning Valdab.

I think your right about trying to get to 1 week at a time. It really feels horrible when u have to start back at 1 doesn’t it. Hope u are well x

hi Amybeeee,

One day at a time, I get focused and try to concentrate on the important things in life. family, kids, work and finding the health / life benefits in everything. I had a drinking and subsequent gambling problem which i just had to stop.

Its hard but certainly achievable Cold turkey was the only way for me. I felt like i turned a corner for a few weeks; but then i got a bit depressed by drinking alcohol with the sunny weather which has led me back to some dark places... - I cant stress how difficult i found it to avoid alcohol and gambling. But i will get there. - and you will too. Remember the important things in life and you will get through this tough time.

I find boredom is the worst, that's when times really try me. But that's the part of the gambling triangle I still struggle with removing, although reading on here does help with that. Relapsing sometimes makes us stronger the next time round , I think you have done amazing amy to get to 6 days before, that's really tough! If you could do that before you can do it again plus more, try and get a buzz out of that feeling of winning against the addiction one day at a time. Everyday we will have that urge because we suffer from addiction but the urges do subside in time, don't give up x

hopenglory wrote:

I cant stress how difficult i found it to avoid alcohol and gambling. But i will get there. - and you will too. Remember the important things in life and you will get through this tough time.

I also have an alcohol problem and hoping I can fight that as well as gambling, just reading your words were very encouraging to me ty for sharing.

I believe we can all gain back control of our lives from any addiction if we want to that much and if we are prepared to go to battle against it x

Am proud of you Amy...knocked down but you are up again straight away. Yeah its shiit starting at day 1 again...so let this be the last time you have to do day 1!!! Seriously...you are doing well, regardless of lapses...they are normal in the early days, the important thing is to keep trying...for more and more each time.And you are doing that so well done for being brave enough and also for always admtiing on here when you fall down. We will pick you up again hun!

Not been on for a few days as I couldn’t face it. A few days ago I was on my day 2 GF and I was reading diaries and new posts when someone wrote that they had realised there was a site that wasn’t blocked by gamstop. I wish she didn’t say the site... (not putting any blame on anyone I just wish I didn’t see what the site was called)

So here I am £1,200 later and tears rolling down my face.

I absolutely hate this, myself and my lack of self control. My husband who was supportive at first is now at his wits end with me and I agree with him 100% why.

I need help...

Amy 🙁

What are you doing to block your access to gambling and cash? The cycle continues all the time nothing changes.

Amy...you have got to get those blocks in place...put gamban on your devices so that when the urge hits you, you cannot gamble at all.This blocks everything gambling...all sites...you will not be able to access. It cost me £12 for the year I think. Gamstop is great...but it only blocks the sites that have have signed up to it...so you will always be able to find others.But with gamban, you are totally blocked from all things gambling. You need to do this today and make this your GF day no. 1...otherwise you will continue to replapse and the pain and depression gets worse each time. You can do this, but you must take action. I have had many replapses but since I have all the blcoks in place it is a relief that I cannot gamble....it makes me feel safe.X

I read somewhere that hypnosis can be helpful to some people too, guessing you could just google that? Definitely install gamban as valdab said, I need to do that too. Taking away anything that may tempt you will definitely help, only then will you start the withdrawal stage and fight through it, take those temptations away and I bet you can do this.

Have you joined the guru challenege yet? http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/join-guru-challenge

It's amazing and helps so much for me, just post when you are ready to start from day 1 of gamble free and check in once a week to say how you are doing.

Churchill quote that I read on the thread above, thought it was very inspirational...

When going through hell, keep going."

You can do this, don't give up x

Hi Amybeee,

I have self excluded for 5yrs and given complete control of my finances to my husband. I am locked out of everything. He has access to my cleascore profile as well - more for the future though.

I don't have any urges to gamble (at the moment and long may it continue), i dont know if that's because I know i couldn't even if i wanted to. Can you give your husband complete financial control?

Morning all, thanks for the replies.

I have put gamblock on now so there’s so chance even if I wanted to, I’m on day 3 now.

I have also give my credit card and other accounts over to my husband. He is going to take money out each week for me for shopping and essentials only. I feel loads better and I think your right, it’s because I know I can’t now so there’s no point in even thinking about it.

I hit a very low point the other night and I don’t ever want to feel like that again so from now on it’s onwards and upwards.

Hope u are all well. Amy xx