Self care = succsessful recovery

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SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7048
Topic starter
 
“Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.
 
It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution.
 
It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day.
 
A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is sick. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless internal pressure.
 
True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.
 
And that often takes doing the thing you least want to do.
 
It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t.
 
It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes having a dirty kitchen and deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be having abs and keeping up with your fake friends. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your latent potential, and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you even knew what was happening.
 
If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.
 
It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor, gambling, drugs  and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.
 
It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.
 
It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.”
-Brianna Wiest
 
 
Posted : 2nd January 2020 7:54 pm
DramaLlama
(@dramallama)
Posts: 920
 

Welcome back SB. I just noticed your post. I'm not gonna digest your words now cos I'm super tired. I just wanted to say hi. 

Drama x

 
Posted : 2nd January 2020 11:50 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7048
Topic starter
 

Hi & aknowledged, Happy New year, stay safe going forwards. You have it in you.

 

S&B xx

 
Posted : 3rd January 2020 2:28 am
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
 

Hello.. To you and your little 4 legged furry friend too ?

Boo ?

 
Posted : 3rd January 2020 8:34 am
(@jellycake66)
Posts: 5
 

Inspirational, thank you xx

 
Posted : 4th January 2020 3:01 pm
(@adam123)
Posts: 2816
 

VERY VERY TRUE, great food for thought.  We should aim to live a life that we don't need escape from.  It's easy to strive for money in order to pay for "better living", what were we aiming for thru gambling, money, money for what, to live a better life.  Because we think if we can buy better clothes, drink more alcohol, pay for Christmas presents, live in a more expensive house etc that we will enjoy ourselves more and be more fullfillied.  In most cases when u get this u don't feel fulfilled u feel exhausted.   now we've just been thru December, everyone wanting to socialise and drink and drugs more when young, when middle aged trying to provide for their young presents and food, then in January products aimed at building a better body a better you.  Now would anyone need that better body if we weren't sold that excessive food and chocolates over December?  I do think as a society we are becoming more aware of this and are trying to be more accountable to consumerism .  I for one think martin Lewis is great however i still wanted to buy my nephews and nieces lots over Christmas, i think its good to get a balance between both.  I do think that at this time of year joining a gym is great too as you can go to the health suite to relax or gym to exercise.  I have personally done the drink, drugs, smoking, and as a result my mental health has been a huge problem for me growing up, I've lost jobs, lost housing etc and struggled with relationships.  I now don't do any of these vices and with my gym membership enjoy the simple pleasures in life and have only a part time job (doctors advice) and sleep more.  Lets not try to aim for the successful life lets aim for the healthy, happy and fulfilled one.  Lastly some of the most successful people on this planet are lonely, unfulfilled and depressed, if u have a 200 pound watch or a 10 watch it still tells the time etc.   

 
Posted : 4th January 2020 11:03 pm
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)
Posts: 4883
 

Likewise... very true... much wisdom here 🙂

 
Posted : 5th January 2020 9:21 am

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