So much pain

Lou Lou I understand your pain, this is all so new to me, Iv been so desperate to get out of this hole and change for the better, Iv exchanges 1 anxiety of trying to keep everything a secret whilst letting debt build up and up not knowing what way to turn. Iv made the break and now into my 5th day which is a relief but brought new anxiety and worries facing my demons with my family, I’m holding onto hope that I will get through this and know that really hard times are ahead. You can do this mate and we all in this very horrible ride together! There’s all sorts of people here that will show you the way and support you, support me, support everybody. The fact you are here and reaching out shows true courage, don’t ever stop fighting, we will get through this!

I understand where you are coming from. When I was at my lowest point all I thought about was gambling. I lied, stole, borrowed,begged and everything in between just to have one more spin. It wasn't much of a life but it superceded everything else and I was so good at all those things it was almost easy. 

For months after I stopped I became focused on everything else. I had always had an issue with anxiety but it went into overdrive. I felt like I was going to faint every time I was out in public, I was obsessed with known where the toilet was in any new place so I could 'escape' and I became fixated on my health with all kinds of compulsive checks that just convinced me I had various weird and wonderful conditions. For days, weeks and months I yearned for gambling.

I am absolutely not a mental health expert but I was given some good advice that did work for me. Set a goal every day. It doesn't have to be big; my 1st one was to make my bed in the morning. Then it was go to the shops and buy milk and then go for a 15 minute walk and so on. Even on the worst of days if I achieved my goal I could say I had done something positive.

Good luck with your journey, stay strong and get as much support as you can. We are all stronger than our desire to gamble; needing a bit help to find the way to find that strength doesn't change that. 

Loulou I understand how you feel. I have mental health problems and thought that gambling was the only thing to make me happy and distract my mind. It’s not. 

I have to be honest though and say although it’s only been 2 weeks for me gamble free I am starting to realise that my mental health deteriorated in the 5 years gambling more than it ever would have if I wasn’t. 

I honestly believe it’s makes us physically ill from the stress and pain caused, it also wants to make you feel it’s your safe place, when really it’s the devil incarnate! 

We are all here for you. Phone the Samaritans or similar if you feel like you can not cope at ru moment, I have done it in the past and honestly it helps. 

You are not alone, and if you feel as terrible tomorrow take yourself off to your local hospital and demand to see someone who can help you. Gambling isn’t going to help and however much you think you are better off, believe me your not.

be strong and echo.. you are not alone. I am happy to always chat if you ever need some support 

Hi

Each time I went gambling I was causing myself self abuse, the addictions and obsessions were an indicator that I was emotionally vulnerable. 

The addictions and obsessions were a form of escape from people life and situations I could not cope with emotionally.

The facade built of my fears I put on, was fear based, my control issues were fear based.

It was very important for me to put much more time and effort in to my recovery than I put in to addictions and obsessions

The addictions and obsessions were a form of escaping in my fears, the addictions and obsessions were a symptom that I was emotionally vulnerable.

When I went to the addictions and obsessions were a way of me escaping in my fears from people life and situations I could not cope with emotionally.

The addictions and obsessions were a form of self abuse, going with out my needs my wants and not having any goals in my life.

It can be argued that we feel that we are not worthy of any thing, that we cheat our self from treating our self nicely.

Just for today only I will not gamble is a boundary I set to value myself.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Dear @loulou ,

really sorry to hear you are in a lot of mental and physical pain, it sounds like you find it very challenging to cope at the moment. 

I hope you were able to speak to your MH team over the past two days and hoping that you are feeling somewhat better. 

Please keep posting and engaging on the Forum, it is important you know that you are not alone. 

We will continue to be in touch and support you.

Wishing you all the very best,

Eva

Forum Admin

Hi Lou

I can realise your circumstances, to eradicate this painful event please do not loose your courage and patience.

thanks

Same thing happen with me, emotionally blackmail by myself to pursue gambling. 

Wish you good life again

Hi your statement match with me, last five years I forget everything except gambling, too much debt, thinking all mentally destroyed, need to overcome, is SARITAN provide better care like gamecare? And one thing how can I write like others in forum? thank