Great day work went well had a nice walk at lunch time but glad for my barriers and self exclusion as my mind did wander and in the past I would have gone for a cheeky half hour! Instead had a sandwich in the sun, then an hour in bike and a burger and beer for evening meal! All good and still gf
Pay day has arrived! I will be able to pay all bills and have a repayment listing which leaves some spare! This I will enjoy living normally! My barriers will help and now one month nearer debt free!
Today is Sunday, pay day gone and debt reduced a small amount! Saturday at golf and beers with friends all good and today busy and drive to work ready for tomorrow- all good have a good day
End of three days away and stress and today was great to have barriers back in place at home, no chance of “nipping” for a bet, my mind calms down! Away in a place where no barriers my mind tells me different! Here’s to a peaceful day tomorrow and be gf.
Back in local areas for a couple of days and my gambling thoughts and stress levels fallen to almost non existent and the barriers are stopping all gambling! I am finding motivation difficult as I feel knackered! Golf in morning hopefully get a good sleep this eve! Exercise tomorrow too!
Hi
Handing over finances was a very healthy thing for me to do.
I could not trust myself with money.
I have lost count of the number of times I went back to my addictions and obsessions.
It was very important to go back to the meetings as soon as possible.
Even if I had no money I would go back to the meetings as soon as possible.
The addictions and obsessions indicated that I was emotionally vulnerable.
Money was never going to resolve my emotional vulnerability.
I did not understand how many fears I was juggling with each day.
Sadly high volume of fears or high levels of fears caused me to go in to panic mode then I could not think things out clearly.
I am a non religious person yet I do embrace spiritual values, it sounds like a conflict but not for me.
No matter when my last bet I found that saying I will never gamble again would indicate that I was not only 100% healed, but that I controlled my gambling, that is not true.
Abstaining did not mean I was healed.
Abstaining did not mean I was healthy and able to over come my fears of emotional intimacy.
Abstaining was a boundary I set that indicated that I valued myself and did not want to cause pains to myself or other people.
Each time was not a failure but a slow learning curve to my emotional vulnerability.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
Today a great day, golf in morning, then came home and did lunch then an hour on tv watching a bit of sport, all barriers in place, mid pm instead of a bet I went for a run great buzz this eve, and no binge eating when won or lost!
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