Stopping access to money

Hi.

Yes. That should be possible. Limit your access to your account. Have your partner to co-sign on any transfer so you can not move any money. You could also have a standing transfer over to your partners account so they get the salary in when it comes. Just make sure you have a clear path ahead with your partner and your bank man so everyone is clear on who does what and for how long. It was quite a while ago I did these things so anyone else who has this experience more fresh may want to step in with advice.

Best

C

Having just found out the enormity of my husband's gambling, I've had his salary paid into my account and I can see his bank accounts online.  I've also made him apply for the app that prevents you from gambling.

He says this has helped a lot because now he knows he "can't" gamble.  But who knows, this is very new territory for me and I'm not sure I'm doing anything right at all.

You could consider a joint account with the other person alone knowing online access details. Mr L has a card to the joint account but can't access it online. I monitor it very regularly. They should be aware that a financial association with you has the potential to impact their own ability to access credit depending on your credit record.

Some employers will only pay salary to an account in the name of the employee. Mr L's is paid to a basic bank account which doesn't allow an overdraft. The banks don't advertise them because they cost them money to run but they're required to offer them so look around. I hold the card and operate it.

I have a Monzo account which limits gambling transactions. They are very helpful and the app is brilliant. If for any reason you can gamble then they are available on online chat to help. I have also limited daily transaction amount to £175 a day for essentials . This stops me gambling as i used to gamble large amounts. Hope this helps

Morning, 

There are three elements which enable people to gamble. The elements are as follows:

1. Time

If you keep yourself busy with everyday activities such as cleaning the house, reading, house improvements etc. The lesser time to think of gambling while doing other counter productive activities. This lifts your self esteem and self worthiness. 

2. Money

Money management is vital skill in beating this nasty habit of gambling. Equally, this is just as important as time, some says that "time is money,"

3. Opportunity 

If you limit yourself with the opportunity to gamble and build as much hurdles as you possibly can. It unlikely that you'll gamble. 

If you take two or more elements away, you're on your way to fully recover from gambling. Just bear this in mind.

Xoi

I'm sure you can actually ask your bank to block gambling sites too. I haven't done it. But I'm sure you can. 

You can ask your bank for a helping hand to prevent you from gambling. They can put a stopage of gambling transactions onto their computers. 

Xoi

Hi Magsy

It works hand in hand with the foundations of openness and honesty. Having someone you trust and can talk to is a vitally important start in this process. Your secret being out and facing the truth together is a massive step in recovery

You keep talking your feelings through and with your blessing they can assume the default position that you may try and have a gamble. This is for your own protection

The key point is that all larger sums of money are out of your control and that you are not going to be the sort of person that may ring them at 2am wanting hundreds for a holiday you are thinking of. (because that wont be happening and you need to be comfortable with that as I'm sure you will be)

All large transactions are done with someone else present. Anything large would have to be overseen and paid for by someone else so they can see the transaction.

A reasonably small allowance can be transferred to you quickly with modern technology.

You can still save for treats like clothes but your transactions will be overseen with receipts and monitoring. Its not about disheartening you that you can have nothing with your carefully saved money. Its not about depressing you and you should build a real pride and feeling of control in your life

However you dont want the trust and you dont need the full trust as a recovering addict...You will build a pride and even a serenity if you are doing this right.

All these foundations are just as important (more so) as the method you use like separate bank accounts so your wages are paid in elsewhere. Get some legal advice from the bank. You can have a card without knowing security numbers and I would tend to use electronic transactions rather than cash as it is more easily monitored.

Its not about leaving you stuck and you may need a bit of cash for something as you travel to work so small emergencies are built in to your scheme

We are talking low balance low amount access to money at all stages...no overdraft facilities and no access to loans, pawnshops payday lenders. The right people will develop a sixth sense what you have been doing and that is actually what you need.

Its not about treating you like a baby so you need to talk through whether you may have a moan and a grumble. Your mind will heal but temptation is around us and its an addiction that wont give us up easily

There is no shame but how much you tell your bank is up to you. Remember they are a business and can offer certain options which may help. I set up most of it with my parents and that worked for me.

Restricted money is very important and prevents doing any heavy damage to your finances.

However you can never be complacent again and you constantly need to talk through your feelings and any urge thoughts.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum