Struggling Saturdays

Hello,

Firstly well done on being 9 days gamble free and also seeking help for your addiction.

I'm currently 68 days gamble free (The longest i've gone so far) and that's due to having extreme blocks in place which i'll mention later.

Like yourself, my biggest concern of leaving gambling behind was the weekends. Although my gambling was only since 2011 it was almost a tradition on saturdays (mainly) to gamble. I knew that I would have to find other things to do on a saturday other than wake up, go to the bookies, fill in my football bets,throw money into the dreaded fobt and then come 3pm watch the live scores on tv. The same can also be said for online.

The weekday was always going to be the easiest as I never really used to leave the house after work unless it was to see my girlfriend or to watch Liverpool at the pub.

I recently posted a thread over christmas about how I passed the test of Boxing day. Again that was a tradition of beers and bets but as I had the blocks in place and 50 days already gone gamble free the tempation wasn't really there. I feel with blocks this could help you.

1. Self exclude from every bookmaker in the areas you live, work, parents live, friends live, places you could drive too in a 30minutes or so and any other ones you may know of, delete any temptation. This may seem a lot but you can do it in one hit. Grab a pen and paper and write down all the bookmakers address via google search then ring the national self exclusion line on 0800 294 2060. The staff are friendly and won't judge you. Also a tip to stay out of the bookies if you ever think "I'll try that one, the staff wont recognize me" is to think how embarassed you will feel if they do and ask you to leave. Also it could get someone into trouble.

2. Self exclude from any online accounts you have and also open up new ones then ban youself right away. They are planning to bring out a new system in spring what allows you to ban from all gambling sites. In the meantime just do that.

3. This blocks works well with point 2. Order a new bank card and then hand it to a trusted loved one so you cant go online if you find a new site. I'd also ask someone to monitor your bank statements to show whats going in and out and explain what you need your card for etc. This may seem extreme but it does help.

They are all the blocks i have in place and they really do help. I feel like a new person. I'm more careful with money, I enjoy it a lot more, i do more social stuff eith my girlfriend like meals and were even planning a spa weekend soon. That would of never ever happened if I was gambling because firstly, i never had the money due to losing all the time and secondly most relavent to your post, I would of wanted to spend the weekend placing and watching my bets.

Sorry for rambling on and sorry if my post hasn't made sense in some parts. I'm typing on my phone as my laptops broke (not gambling related haha) and its harder to write.

All the best mate and please take on board what I have said it really does help.

Best regards Embracing.

Thanks for the reply, and well done on your progress with your fight. I'm glad to say Saturday passed of gamble free, there was definitely some stages where I felt a little irritable but I managed through probably better than I imagined. I'm already feeling much better especially at night time not gambling, less anxious etc trying to work out how I can lie my way out of losses as was the case most weeks, this new experience and feeling is one I like and want to keep feeling like this. For the first time in a long time I'm being honest with my wife who has been great. You make some really great points and I've already put some of these into place, banned myself my my online gambling accounts, all my banking accounts sit with my wife, although I've been here before this time my wife is in total control and there is no way for me to access any funds without going through her and fully explaining what every penny I need from time to time is for, I understand it has to be like this. My wife has also told me there is no other chances after this, today we had a great chat and that's helped re focus my efforts. I've not yet barred myself from bookies shops but definitely something il be looking to do over the next few days. I really enjoyed time with the kids today and feel bad when I think of all the time I spent gambling that should have been spent enjoying time with my family. I'm also looking forward to renewing my golf membership when the season restarts, I feel this will help me with focusing my mind on other activities where normally gambling. Thanks again for passing on your experience and knowledge of how to help fight this, it's appreciated and heartwarming to know others like yourself have been there and are now making a new life away from gambling. Il look out for how your getting on and il definitely keep using this site as it's really helping. All the best

That's great that you passed Saturday gamble free. It's really good progress and it does get easier in time.

Even know your wife said it's the last chance now you can use that as a good tool. If you gambled again, not only would you lose X amount of money but you will lose your wife and maybe a close relationship with your kids. You could plant that in your head everytime you feel an urge. Dont turn "I have something to lose" into "I have nothing to lose". I'm confident though from what you have told me that the agreement you have your wife in regards to gambling is that she sounds very supportive and thats really important. My fiancee is and has been really supportive through them dark dark days. We should both count ourselves lucky we have that other "block" in our recovery because some dont.

The golf membership is a very good idea as like you have stated, will focus your mind on other things.

Try not to feel too bad on all the time lost instead of spending it with your family. There is still plenty of time to make things right and starting now is the best thing you have done. Maybe consider putting money you save aside and taking the kids somewhere special or you and your wife do something you wouldnt normally do if you can?

Again all the best and remember to self exclude from the shops ASAP because someone with an addiction will try and leave one access to gamble door open just in case. Get it done and it makes gambling near impossible making your urges subside and life better.

All the best, Embracing

Three Saturdays in a row now and you were right it does get easier. Just so I’m a bit clearer, although Saturdays were my main gambling day I have gambled any day of the week I could get my hands on cash, huge amounts,but to me Saturday was almost invented for gambling.

Gambling has had so many negative effects on my life and I’m now only realising the full extent of these, this is helping spur me on and I’m using my ability to be addicted to something to now be addicted to saving money, looking to provide a better future for my family, this is all I want now. The councillor I’m seeing has been a great help, I know after 1 month I’m hardly cured but I get such a feeling of that light bulb moment I cannot see my thinking being manipulated again with the gambling demons, well I certainly hope not, it really is amazing in such a short time how better I feel without gambling and as I’ve said before I feeling I’m harnessing to get me through the urges.