read a few posts and threads and identify to why I gamble…
for me it’s boredom, depression (linked to being over weight!) and loneliness..
Firstly, I often deposit, to kill the boredom. Not because I want to, but because I can add 20 mins of excitement , it’s often numbers, colours I will just pick horses randomly. The other morning I woke at 5am, played the cartoon horses and lost ... because I didn’t fall back to sleep. Picked a number and said it’s got to win at some point. In around 20 races, that number won maybe twice! It was number 6. No care, just placing bets because I could.
I’ve been depressed for so long, linked to the two other factors behind my gambling. Weight gain and social anxiety. I’ve put on about 6st and because of this can’t and don’t leave the house outside of working. I’m a recluse which is bizarre given I grew up social, happy and large social groups. I can count the number of nights out I’ve had on one hand in the last 5 years.
I work a job that is busy, and when I am working, I have no urge to gamble but as soon as I get home, I’m bored. Not an excuse but at a young age I was diagnosed with ADD and lose focus and enjoyment on anything quickly…not gambling though, I could gamble 6-8 hours on a Saturday, easily.
Linked to the depression, when I lose I can spiral, but not for long. If I win or lose, that emotion can be short lived. It doesn’t really matter.
Now, I’ve hit such a rut, when anyone suggests anything, try something new I just make excuses to why I can’t. I’m miserable. I’m that depressed, I go to work and tell myself I need something new but the change needs to be me but I don’t help myself!
I’ve also been gambling for 25 years. I’m 42. Online ONLY - not been a bookies for 20 years, I don’t play roulette or fruit machines. Or Pokér. My brain realises that they don’t work. It’s a loss. But not sports betting why?
I’ve rambled enough. I’m not sure what happens next. I have 3 children, a large home a decent job, yet miserable and see no success. I’ve been on medication for 10 years. I need to help myself before I lose another 10 years to this miserable cycle.
Thanks for reading.
That is so honest. I am struggling with weight too. Have you ever planed anything reg yourself? You know how to plan because you work and you have a family but have you done a plan for you?
You do not have to understand why you are unhappy today. Just plan an action for yourself and follow it. Then another then another till it becomes easy. My plan is to loose 3 stone before July. I dont know if I can but I am planing to do that.
Start planing.You will see that the depression becomes a bit easier to bear. I will do the classical thing now and say talk to a counsellor reg the gambling but you need to work that depression and weight issue as well so
take a few easy steps and make plan. Any plan then take massive action and see it through.
Best
C
If depression and being miserable is what is all consuming you right now then the gambling in the long run weather you care or not if you win will make it a thousand times harder when you hit rock bottom
rock bottom potential: 1. Lose family’s trust or them alltogether
rock bottom potential: 2. Lose house or remortgage/ debt
Rock bottom potential 3. The worse case scenario
the longer you gamble the lower the rock bottoms get and yes it can always get worse.
first get some help tackling the depression by seeing a doctor or therapist and continue the support you have for gambling like GA meetings or coming on this site DAILY.
just for today I will not gamble and try to bring some joy into myself through other activities.
dave101
Hi gamblinganoun,
Your post is so brutally honest & what shines through most is an illustration of a CG absolutely desperate to escape a life of misery. YOU CAN. I repeated the same cycle as you for so many years. No matter how much weight you've put on or what you look like, no matter what your own perceptions you have of YOU, you're clearly a good person who cares for your children & wants a better life for all your family.
Like you I became reclusive & in desperation instead of picking a number I'd pick a jockey or a trainer & convince myself they were gonna have several winners today. It's an illusion. a paper moon, fools gold. Please sign up to GAMSTOP, maybe speak to your bank about blocking gambling transactions. The bit about no nights out for so many years really struck a chord with me. I missed my own sons graduation due to my addiction.
I'm not gonna batter your head with information right now but despite the shame, telling someone close can bring so much relief. Call the Helpline on Gamcare & let them talk through your options they really are fantastic. Counselling can be a great help, in a none judgemental environment setting can help an awful lot in my experience.
It was through counselling I learned that the difficult withdrawals, finding new interests & regaining stability have to be carefully managed & how important support is. I don't know how much you weigh, but I can assure you reading your post there's nothing unattractive about you. On the contrary I see a loving, kind, responsible parent who's desperate for change. Please stay in touch.
Sincere Best Wishes
AL
Hi
My emotional triggers were pains not healed, fears not reduced, frustrations due to unreasonabale expectations of people life and situations, loneliness due to fears of emotional intimacy and boredom, lack of motivation.
Being over weight can be improved with healthier diet and exercise.
You wanting excitement igt be your desire to get on a adrenaline rush.
I found that I needed to exchange all of my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
What helped me and my family was going ten pin bolwing it helped me over my fears of Saturday.
I think that my social anxiety was a big thing for me and a fear of emotional intimacy..
My fear of emotional intimacy was due to emotional pains in my childhood not being healed.
My being a recluse was very much fear based.
When I was working I was very mcuh obsessed about it.
Not healthy living that way.
All consuming work and boredom at night is that a healthy balance in your life.
One can spiral our of control very easily chasing our own a*s.
Dificult self destructive loop chase money lose lie and chase more money.
I finished up working hard for my money and wasting it away and causing my self more pains.
With pain comes more fears.
Money was never going to heal my pains reduce my fears or make me feel succesful in my self.
Correct you have hit such a rut, you aer a mouse in a wheel chasing yoru own a*s time and time again.
Nothing healthy in that one.
Do you think you make excuses or out of control and need to find a much healthier life.
You have been gambling for 25 years do you think you should be kinder to your self now.
This is not a ramble this a person who has had enough pain and wants to get healthier.
Give up the miserable cycle and choose amuch healthier life for your self and yoru family you deserve better now..
Thanks for your sharing and honesty.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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