what is this all about??

Mr Brightside is right, we do not and we should not judge.

I think it helps you to think less of those in the compulsive gambling quagmire Jimmyc, I think it helps you to lay waste to the industry itself; your efforts could be channelled into helping yourself and creating a better life for yourself.

If you back up your statements with actions, and then come back on here in a years time, two years or five years, saying you have led a completely gamble-free life, then no-one can question what you believe.

looking down on others is ultimately self-destructive, and part of that comes from the fact that someone has bailed you out; you are very lucky, simple as - it would probably have helped you more if they hadn't.

The bottom line is that you have no grounds to put yourself on a pedestal if you haven't proved it; If you really, truthfully feel the way you do, then nothing else would matter apart from you - put some weight behind your words, show everyone here that you really are who you say you are. many others have said what you have and then suddenly, there is one day where all the passion, judgement and positivity goes out the window.

I wish you good luck too, but know that, at the moment, you are no better than anyone here. Until you prove it, you are just the same. I respect people like JamesP who dedicate hundreds of hours every month into helping others. Maybe, you will discover that compassion and understand where all that matters is to help others - maybe a stint doing charity work would work wonders.

Yo,

Adding on to the above .

I would be interested to find out in those 2 years , did you also stay in control of every other aspect of your life.

Shiny x

I'm gonna put my neck on the block here, but in defence of JimmyC's posts on this thread and leading directly on from your post Shiny - I remember when I was getting over my gambling issues back in the day, and in the early months I felt a strong need to 'distance' myself from the whole gambling world and my previous self, and this manifested itself by me being totally dismissive of my problems and angry against people still falling into my old hole, so I could feel quickly I was 'over it'. It helped in the short term. Clear blue water and all that, between me and my problem. In the same way that these days everyone is so proud to get angry about perceived racism or P****s (rightly so) but the knee-j**k strong reaction is in part due to being able to point the finger and say 'wow, that thing/guy is SO bad and by shouting angry about it I'm proving I'm SO not like that'. I think JimmyC is in early stages of his recovery and is perhaps doing the same thing?

Shiny - OCD is a genuine mental illness and can be totally debilitating. Compulsive behaviour the same too. It's strange though, how all the compulsions always have to be so negative though. (I consider myself to have in layman's terms an 'addictive personality' - it was weed, then it was gambling, now it's currently the demon drink, which I'm now trying to master. Progress slow 😉 )

Why can't we get obsessional or addictive about things that do us good? Exercise, Writing, Volunteering, etc. Why always bad obsessions? The same as people who have Tourette's Syndrome I guess, they must always shout out the worst thing they can think of, never compliments as a tick. 'You're beautiful', 'I love that painting', 'Wonderful trees', etc 😉 Why can't we get addicted to healthy and positive behaviours?

(Bit off topic and rhetorical with the last paragraph, but you get where I'm coming from hopefully).

Mx

Yo ,

Again a bit off topic , but as we are discussing addiction illness v behaviour .

Thank you for your comment mole hole . Why can't we just become compulsive about good things ?

In my case, the good things turn into bad things,

Like I said gardening good thing buying too many plants bad thing.

Cleaning my house good thing , my family feeling uncomfortable bad thing .

Less of 2 evils comes to mind. Does it follow if you are a compulsive gambler then you have a compulsive personality which sees the person excess in other areas of their life .

Probs not all , but my belief after being nearly 3 years on this site a great many are.

Shiny

hi molehole/shiny- i always thought that I had an addictive personality - I am still not 100 percent sure on this. I always give my all in everything I do. Never do anything in half measures. all through my life its been all or nothing whether that was gambling, drinking, shopping, working, dieting, eating etc.. It depends what I am doing at the time but with all of them I can stop quite easily except gambling it seemed. It has been something that has been in my life consistently since I was young and something I was never prepared to stop because I always used the excuse "i enjoy it". This was a fallacy as I never enjoyed it I just said that so I could carry on. The buzz I craved was way more important than anything while I was stuck in it. This is what makes me think that gambling is in fact a terrible addiction and having watched a programme the other day it confirmed what I thought. They did tests on one C*****e addict getting a shot of C*****e and a CG watching a horse race and guess what.. they both stimulated the same part of the brain that gives us that buzz. This is proof to me that it is an addiction however I agree this is still not an excuse for us not to stop.

Linda

Shiny - I can't speak to that. I'm not a psychologist, but I can speak from my own personal experience(but that doesn't mean it's a universal truth though).

My understanding is the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist is that the former deals with 'incorrect thinking', (which can be changed through therapy), the latter deals with bad wiring in the brain and chemical imbalances (which can never be 'fixed', only managed through medication, if at all).

I'm thankfully in the 'incorrect thinking' category - I went for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) back in 2010 and it (touch wood) has totally made me aware of my own behaviour and put in place strategies to deal with it. This works FOR ME.

However, if the problem is psychiatric (IE deals with a malfunction in the physical brain) then it won't help. I wouldn't presume to tell you which category your issues fall into, but with a layman's understanding, if you are saying that anything you get into, however innocuous or positive always ends up eventually being a negative obsession then you should start investigating the route cause through qualified professionals.

mx

EDIT - Hey Linda, we posted at the same time. Yeah C*****e and gambling both release the 'reward' chemical in the brain dopamine. C*****e through ingestion, Gambling through action. C*****e is a physical addiction, Gambling is psychological, same end consequence, but thank god, gambling is easier to stop through therapy, due to no outside physical chemical agent being ingested.

(Not that that helps the CG any in the moment, but if they want to stop it means it's easier to get over just their brain rather than their body too.)

Molehole x

Hi Molehole

Great post totally understand what you mean. I havent had any therapy yet but became completely aware of my own thinking after the first couple of weeks of stopping gambling and talking things through on here. I realised that due to things that happened when I was younger I was punishing myself over and over again and didnt think I deserved a better way of life. I know now that I can change my behaviour and not just that the more that you introduce positive things into your life the more that your mind craves the more constructive activities rather than the destructive.

Linda

Amen to that Linda. I agree totally. mx

I really disagree with the OP. When I was in the throws of a gambling addiction I was powerless to resist gambling on a daily basis, Even if I could hold it off I wouldn't feel like I'd had my fix until I got to the betting shop/casino/internet and did my money. Even when I lost, I would feel better than prior to gambling. Alcohol and drugs get far more publicity and are in the public eye more so than other addictions. Not every addiction has to include the use of a physical substance. People can be addicted to a whole range of behaviours (s*x, stealing, exercise), some far less damaging than others. In any case, I don't really see this initial post as supportive or encouraging towards those with a gambling problem.

You see, you get someone who believes differently and words himself far more direct and brutal than others on here, and straight away he gets slated. We are/were all here for the same reason - gambling was damaging our lives. The difference i see though is that it is solely a choice. It is entirely a matter of willpower, and if you haven't got it, you won't succeed. This behaviour seems irrational as people aren't trying hard enough. At the end of the day when the sun goes down right...... WHO HAS THE CHOICE ....!? You do, and the only way you'll succeed is to develop some strength. Simple as that. The real strength is not cutting it out of your life completely, its keeping it there and managing it safely. Why give up something you enjoy? A bet on the football, horses, playing roulette or blackjack etc? Why give it up if you like it? I wouldn't, but what i would do is highlight how important it is to manage it and how much character that builds in me. I would rather keep doing weekend football bets than try to hide from this and cut it out completely. Cutting it out puts too much pressure on people, clearly, and they cave as they see it as something they 'need' to do. Well great, DO it then, just don't do your balls in. It's all willpower. Saw a post in this section earlier on about someone not gambling having worked in a muslim culture for 7 years... Did they gamble? no... As there was no way of doing it. But were there any withdrawal symptoms? No. Not like an alcoholic would experience. Bit of a mess of a post but i guess its just a stream of conscious thoughts.

jimmy- am I right in guessing that you are betting every weekend in a "controlled" way?

If so I would also guess that the reason for this ranting is because you are trying to justify gambling again. I am amazed after all you went through and your dad helping you financially you would go so far as to justify gambling again in whatever controlled way.

Ill not comment again but I really do wish you the best because I dont think anyone deserves to be caught in this gambling lark.

Linda

Linda i don't bet every weekend on the football, only one or two a month, which considering the opportunities to gamble (if i wanted to) is a good effort. If it was a problem for me i would be going at every chance possible. I am not, and even when i do go, it's a maximum of £5 on 10 scores (50p each). I don't care what anyone says, that is controlled, as the money i have at my disposal means i could bet 100 times that. But do i? No, as it's controlled. Simple. I am not running scared, i am facing up to the fact that i was irresponsible and doing these low stakes bets on whatever weekend proves to me that i am controlling this perfectly, win or lose. That's the difference. I'm not stupid with it now because i haven't got it in my head that i am "sick" and justify my gambling with that excuse.

Hi Jimmy

I really am glad you found a way through that works for you. I hope it stays that way for your sake and I really do wish you all the best.

Linda

Good Morning,

I picked up on this thread through reading DMac's diary. Thoroughly interesting read and lots of valid points.

Just a point on the 'sick' alcoholic vs the 'choice' a gambler has. I would be intrigued to know when does the alcoholic become 'sick'? Yes an alcoholic cannot go cold turkey as in the story Jimmy highlighted and can become physically dependant. However, hasn't the alcoholic 'chosen' to drink on many occasions prior to becoming dependant? The alcoholic isn't dependant from day 1.

I would also suggest saying gambling addiction is not an illness almost questions mental health issues as a whole. The factors that lead a person down a route into any 'addiction' can be very dark. The statistics also show a very small percentage of gambler's actually abstaining permanently which would make me question whether it is as simple as just 'choosing' to never gamble again. Many talk about not being able to replace the 'buzz'. Is the buzz a thing of the mind? Is it chemical? Either way it exists and surely cannot be discounted entirely.

I would also throw in that I myself have tried long and hard to analyse my own gambling problem. I eventually came to the conclusion that rather than addictive, my gambling was obsessive. I tend to obsess about things and currently I channel that part of my psyche into something far less disastrous. Some would suggest addictive and obsessive are one and the same. Regardless of that I believe if we find a way to distance ourselves from our 'choice' 'addiction' obsession' and leave our previous destruction behind then we are getting it right Today and hopefully making our Tomorrow much better in the process.

Flagg

jimmy

fella it seems through your last two posts you have somewhat changed the goal posts so to speak.

When you came to the forum, the diaries section you never mentioned your 'controlled' gambling you simply came as a broken man, the same as the most of us.

Interesting for me that when I asked the question earlier on the this thread that did you stop because your father bailed you out, you choose not to answer that question, just decided to belittle my own recovery path.

In my mind nobody is slating your choice here, they are simply trying to learn, that is surely what this forum is for, to learn from each other??

You did not answer my question maybe because you could not, because you are still gambling.

That is your choice, this forum has folk on it who choose to live a life with controlled gambling, take captain46 he is in recovery from his destructive path of in his words 'random' gambling and it serves his own recovery well, nobody slates his choice of recovery, yes debates have waged through that choice but he contributes to diaries in a manner which he does not incite anger in the posts of other users of the forum.

Your own way of dealing with your choice is yours, as mine is mine.

Whether you feel it is an addiction/lifestyle/compulsion/obbession or just a mindset is up to you, nobody will knock you for it.

What folk will like me feel aggrieved with is surely the fact that you were not honest, at no point did your posts lead anyone to believe that you wanted to 'gamble' at any point, when in fact you by your own admittance are an active gambler, this for me puts a whole new light on your thread.

My advice read Captain46's recovery diary, it is for you somewhere where you may learn something to your advantage, that whatever your choice regards gambling if you are actually honest then folk even if they don't agree with it will accept it as your choice.

Rather than cloaked rantings towards those you view as weak.

Regards Duncan

Thanks for bringing some honesty to this thread as I feel the forum has benefitted, I hope the same for you.