Hi
I have been gamble free for about 18 months and seemed to be going along quite happily and then i watch a compulsive gamblers video clip and boom i want to gamble.
Now i have no debit card i have self excluded from all the bookies in my area and i do not have internet at home.
But i am looking after a relative's house while they our away and use there computer to see if i can open a casino account which you all know is very easy to do with so many sites springing up. Then the gambling cycle begins, enjoyment, excitement, frustration, annoyance and finally realisation that i have lost most of my deposited money.
I then become sick with myself and hate myself self excluding from the site. But with all the blocks i had in place i still due to circumstances found it possible to gamble.
Am i destined to continue this emotional cycle it seems this never end.s
Well congratulations on being 18 months gamble free at first but it is a shame about the loss.
It is hard to be free from the feelings we get when we gamble, i know im currently starting day one today and believe me its hard.
Truth is if you can kick it once then you can do it again, this time set yourself a goal to go further than 18 months.
Life is short, imagine putting that time and effort into do something else imagine what you could accomplish and please dont think this is aimed you as im writing it im also absorbing the information and going to take my own advice but for what its worth i hope this helps.
Many thanks for your reply gambleez i just wanted to put down in words my frustration with myself.
Good luck on starting your gambling exclusion i am treating this as not day 1 but another part of my aim to be gamble free
Best wishes
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