Hi Guys, new to this but unfortunately not new to gambling...
Over the past 15 years I've always had issues on and off with gambling. I used to play poker alot online and was fairly successful but in reality that's what led to others.
I kept it all bottled up and family and friends would always be concerned about my moods, couldn't afford to socialise and I'd just make excuses as to why. I did get counselling and shut down online sites etc and at times have had long periods without gambling but the worry of it happening is always just around the corner
My last relationship break up was mainly down to gambling as it brought the lies and trust issues as I would never admit and face up to it.
I have since spoke to friends and family and was doing well until lately.. Last year I was renting a place and ended up having to leave with nowhere to go as I was spending rent and bill money.. Shameful.
I got back on track and started getting finances under control and whilst not totally gamble free certainly going in the right direction.
However last week I was paid to myself my wages having previously been going to a family members account therefore keeping me on track.
This then meant I had over 1k and 2 hours after finishing work on payday i had nothing!!! Straight into bookmakers on roulette machine and all gone.
This time my ex has went mad as couldn't pay my way for my child to which I was furious with myself. She denied access to my child. I haven't spoke to my family as they know what I done and I couldn't pay my rent and landlord is on my back..
I don't know where to turn. I can't sleep at all lying in bed in tears just feel so down and lonely. I've got a good job good people around me and like to think I'm a good person but addiction is and will kill me if I don't get rid for good.
Any advice would be welcome
Well done for finding your way onto here and putting your story into words. Firstly you are not alone we have all been where you currently find yourself. This battle has no quick fix, I have had periods of time gamble free and believed I had this beat. Sadly this will never be beaten, we will always be addicts and we need to commit to a daily task of not placing that first bet, if we can stay away from the first bet then we will have a productive day. Its impossible to imagine a lifetime gamble free, but one day is more manageable. Theres loads of help on here and I suggest you have a good read and especially Mixers guide for first timers, I also think you should seek out your local GA group and give it a go as this is a huge help.
Get money paid into family account again where you can't touch it. Money is fuel for gambling. One slip and its a few steps back. Been there with roulette machines the shops prey for addicts to have a moment of weakness and before you know it is a trip in and out to a cashpoint. Go back to what worked before and use the relapse to remember not to gamble.
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