Wonderful Day

Great post and a huge motivation to keep you strong.

Congratulations on the new arrival

Hi AL 🙂

Never thought about the grandchildren being born to non gambling grandparent's so I guess that's applicable to me as well ( thank's for that ) :)) . I remember my son who's 24 being born then realising that I've never smoked during his lifetime unlike my daughter who I smoked around for a good part of my life ( not proud of that ) :(( . 

Some uplifting post's coming from yourself recently AL and that shows how far you've come where your noticing such huge changes in life and being back in the moment .

I don't think the taxi of dad will ever change mate if I'm honest cause if your needed your needed but hopefully the tangerine stains on your sweatshirt won't stay with you as long as those precious memories being created 🙂 .

Stay well old friend and best wishes .

Alan  

Hi Alan, 

Thanks for your post. I can't describe the euphoria & happiness lately it feels like i've gotten through the pain barrier & the numbness and indifference to the things that really matter are going. This still a small part of me saying " You'll f---k this up with your previous history " but overall i feel just so calm, contented & at peace with myself. It's been many years since i've felt this good. I can honestly say the thought of gambling never entered my head yesterday.

My daughter mentioned fathers day yesterday & asked if there was anything i'd like. I told her not cash in a card this year use your imagination and i'm sure i'll love it. Still got this fear of me & money being a bad combination & let's face it if i was an arsonist i wouldn't expect her to buy me a cigarette lighter. That's not being negative i'm just guarding against complacency.

Reading your posts always gives me a lift and knowing how well you've done inspires me to be the best i can be just for today.

Sincere Best Wishes

AL

Dear Al,

thank you very much for sharing your happiness and contentment with us, it is so good to see how far you have come and how much better you feel within yourself. You are a true inspiration for newcomers and old hands alike.

Please keep sharing and posting and enjoy every minute of your new life, it sounds like you and your family very much appreciate and love the new Al.

Wishing you continued success and all the very best,

Eva

Forum Admin

Hi Eva,

Thanks for your support. I've done things i'm not proud of in order to finance my addiction, but now i'm tired of punishing myself for the sins of the past. Surely everyone deserves happiness. I intend to seize every opportunity to enjoy everything that's good & healthy in life.

Kind Regards

AL 

I love your posts Alwalm,

I seem to remember in the early days that you worried how you would fill your time !

One of the best things that someone said about my dad was that he was a "cartoon grandad" - the kind of magical person, blessed with endless patience and good humour when it came to entertaining his grandchildren. You sound just the same.

What is true recovery ?

Who knows, but your sentence;

" but overall i feel just so calm, contented & at peace with myself"

Doesn't seem like a bad start does it ?

Hi Ken,

Absolutely wonderful to hear from you. To be honest just saying HI to someone i know on here makes the world of difference to me. When i was gambling i wouldn't even answer the door & if the phone rang & i didn't recognise the number displayed i simply didn't answer. What a sad solitary existence. Even now i'm a little ill at ease going out & talking to people.

I'm sure i'll gain more confidence in time as my basic life & social skills improve. That's part of the joy having family members coming to see me I feel like slowly but surely i'm starting to re-connect to the outside world. I'm scared & yet excited at the prospect but every day it gets easier & it gets better.

It's weird how old habits linger and i still think when i wake up "oh god i didn't gamble yesterday did i " fortunately a sense of relief cicks in when i remember i didn't. Great way to start the day & that knowing what you've achieved ( hard as it is ) is much too precious to destroy. I take great delight in seeing you & others on here progressing and being able to focus on others instead of that ME ME ME attitude typical in CGs.

Sorry if i've rambled on Ken in short just want to be NORMAL & happy with life & its simple pleasures. TV ads being plugging Royal Ascot last 2 weeks and to be honest it's just gone straight over my head. I've come a long way since March when i was dreading & fearing Cheltenham but i didn't die i got over it & i'm still here. I'm growing in confidence not hiding any dark sinister secrets about what i got up to yesterday and trying to be the best i can be 1 day at a time.

Sicere Best Wishes My Friend

AL

Hi

In our recovery our steel will be tested in many ways.

The pains of our past becomeour strength today.

The inner child no longer needs to hide in fears any more.

I no longer want people to fear or mistrust me any more.

Love and peace to evey one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham