18TH JAN 2013 - Time to let go.

Not completely sure how to use this diary yet?? If I want to post something on my diary every day/week/month, do I click onto my initial title heading as above and then reply to thread or do I type up a new post?

Would really welcome help/advice from current diary users/gamcare staff.

Thanks in advance.

Hello FEB2013,

I notice that you have posted several threads in the Recovery Diaries section. It will be easier for you and others to follow your journey if you keep one diary. To post again on the diary you would like to keep updated, click on the thread and this will open up the first page of your diary, then scroll down and click on 'Last page', which brings you to the last page of your diary, then scroll down and click on 'Reply to this thread' to post your diary entry.

Kind regards,

Forum admin.

Thanks. Just about sussed all this out but thanks anyway.

Hi

Just thought I'd pop in and say hello again. Hope you've had a nice weekend. You seem to be doing very well at 16 days. Your attitude as well comes across as very positive which will help in these early days.

Stay on guard though. If you have any urges tell your sister or even come on here and post. Be alert on payday too. Have your sister to help you with your money if need be.

You've done really well to find your way here and to have 16 days under your belt. Stick it out! Be committed, be strong, and leave gambling where it belongs - in the past.

All the best

Alex

Hi

Well done 16 days bet free...FANTASTIC!

You are so right, you can still enjoy the simple things in life such as fitness, relaxation and family that does not need to cost a penny! I recognise from your messages that you are a very positive and strong person and I am sure those qualities will help conquer this addiction. I was given £6 pocket money last week and at the end of the week still had £5.20 left which made me smile! Stay Positive, Keepy Strong and Remain Bet Free.

All the best. Andrew

Thanks Alex. I intend to. I have got things in place for payday - all my direct debits are now comming out on the same day for my bills. I have a block on my computer and I have self excluded from all major online bettings sites for the maximum of 5 years. I am not interested in betting shops, casino halls, roulette or bingo so hoping that what I have in place is enough - together with my self control and my friend Will (Power)!! Bye for now.

Hi Feb

Welcome to this forum! Sounds like you've made a great start- congrats!

Thanks so much for the post on my diary. I know you've been concerned about payday looming, sounds like you've got loads of blockers in place to help you cope with having "accessible" money. There is a great "time-location-money" theory often quoted here- these are the vital ingredients to gamble. Remove any/all of these and we can't!

I look forward to following your progress, and I'm sure you'll do great.

Oh! I'm not sure what happened to "Chat" yesterday. Usually there's a list of times/ cancelled sessions each month or a post in "Overcoming Gambling" section to tell us when the room's open/ closed.

I also find the online 1-2-1 brill when I'm struggling.

Take care and keep up the fabulous effort!

Irene

x

Thanks Irene and nice chatting to you this evening. Keep strong and stay positive. I am keeping my little friend firmly by my side - his name is Will Power!!! ha.

Speak soon.

Well, I haven't been to bed yet (been reading Blondie's posts all night)!! so I thought I would sign in and highlight how many "It's another day, it's another "NO" days I have had - 17!!

It doesn't seem weird at all being up this late or being on my laptop, what is weird/wonderful however, is that whilst being on here for so long, I haven't spent one single penny!! Now not too long ago, I could have quite easily spent hundreds just in one hour!!

Off to docs this morning then going to spend some time with my 3 year old great niece who told me last week, I had a beard!!! Out of the mouths of babes... I was mortified. I have since found myself constantly in the magnifying mirror!! The week before that, she was asking me if I wanted my eyebrows tinting!! Still, she is a wonderful, happy distraction for me and this again, costs no money whatsoever - (well, maybe a visit to the beauty palour when I start doing better things with my money)...

Take care everyone and stay strong.

I'm sticking to the Bright side of the Road this time. Hope you do too.

"It's another day, it's another "NO" = 17

Hi FEB2013,

Thank you for your post on my diary.

You have clearly made a great start and being on this forum I believe is a significant factor in staying gamble free.

I am on Day 40 today and although I don't actually post everyday, I check this forum morning and evening, without it I don't think that I would have got this far.

You are clearly a strong minded and determined lady, so I have no doubt that you will succeed.

Stay strong and keep in touch.

John

Well, time to set some mini goals I think....

17 days and counting. I am actually not thinking about gambling at all, rather, I seem to be often thinking about not gambling - this has got to be good. How it has worked with me in the past is that when it has been bad, I would usually have spent almost all of my salary on the first day of it hitting my account. Then for the remainder of the month, I would be unable to gamble any further. I would however, still have gone onto to the betting sites to see if I had received any free bets, promotions etc which I often did. I would then promptly use these, sometimes win and always place more bets and then guess what?.... yes, you'e right. I would even often go on the sites and find myself putting on 'pretend' bets, often winning and then going on to curse and thinking of the "what ifs". So what I am moving on to say is this:

Since I have not gambled after 18th Jan and now that I have all my blocks in place, this has prevented me (and I have not wanted to) from accessing any form of gambling.

Unlike some people on here who have gambled every single day, it's been a little different for me, probably to do with the fact that I haven't been able to, however, what I am trying to say is that I suppose I am a little used to going for a period of days/weeks without gambling until my next pay day has been approaching. Like lots of other people (I have read on here), been frantically waiting for our salary to hit our account soon after midnight, to get that buzz once again.

It's funny but before starting a diary on here, I did start to write up a little journal on the day of the 18th Jan 2013. I recorded my thoughts and my emotions. I noticed that on my last day of gambling, my emotions were not all positive ones - excited, worried, anxious. Then after I gambled the emotions i experienced were: sad, stressed, terrified, guilty, remorseful, ashamed, paniic!. All of these emotions can play havoc on your mental and physical state.

The terrible physical and mental symptoms I experienced on that dreaded day were enough to make me realise for once and for all that THIS REALLY IS IT!! Enough is definitely enough (it just had to be)!! In a way, it was such a lovely thought as well

So, the reason I came back on here this evening.... - to set up some mini goals to help lead me back onto 'The'bright side of the road' again. So here goes:

MINI GOALS:

1. To pay ALL of my bills with my next monthly salary on 20th Feb. - most comming out by D/D on the same day.

2.To budget wisely with what little I will have left (this will improve in time).

3. To re-focus on something else - cooking and baking more (which I love and have let slip) and just a simple thing like taking a paper to bed.

4.To allow myself a little luxury, inexpensive treat on payday, whether that be a magazine, a facial scrub - just something that I can have for ME. (My last pay day presented me with some of the worst feelings of my life!! and I now want to look forward to payday instead of dreading it, as I did, knowing what would be about to happen!

5.To allow myself to just BREATH if it gets a little difficult and not think too much about what I HAVE done but focus more of my energy on what I AM going to do.

There, I think 5 mini goals are more than enough for me to be going on with and I WILL achieve these.

So again, I will end by keeping it simple - "It's another day - it's another "NO". Me and my friend Will (Power) are once again, sticking to the 'Bright side of the road'

Bye for now.

Thanks to cjdan and to John for your posts. I find it encouraging when people are reminding me that I come across as positive and strong, something I have always been and will remain to be from now on.

Bye for now.

Thanks to Andrew as well - sorry Andrew.

HI Feb,

First off welcome to the forum I hadnt come across your diary until you posted on mine, secondly thank you so much for you post you obviously put a lot of time and thought into it and im not sure if its well done or comisorations for reading my diary lol.

Very well done on starting your diary and taking a great positve step forward in your recovery from this terrible addiction, Im sure you know already there is a mine of information, inspiration and support out there in the diarys use it wisely.

I found that like you i couldnt just stop gambling I had to set goals and make changes to myself and my life, its amazing what recovery can bring if you let it.

Im sorry that you found my diary when i had posted a really depressing post I seem to be going through the mill at the moment but the main and most important thing for me is when the s**t has hit the fan i didnt run to gambling which proves to me even more how far i have come.

You can do this Feb, just take it nice and slow, remain focused and positive and most of all be kind to yourself.

Take care

Blondie x