18TH JAN 2013 - Time to let go.

MONTH 17 - PAY DAY UPDATE

Just about nearing the end of pay day. Was so much looking forward to pay day arriving this month - was nearly crushed alive in my car by a Polish lorry driver who, was using his mobile phone whilst driving. Anyway, two burst tyres later and 175.00 out of pocket!! Still, I am here to tell the tale.

Today, I have paid some of my bills and as confident as ever (more a formality these days) that the remainder of my bills will be paid also. I have bought my nephew/godson a lovely house warming present, which is something he really wanted and I am so pleased that I have been able to buy this for him. I have also treated myself to a lovely pair of summer sandals and bought a lovely bag for my friend's Birthday present. Yes, I am feeling happy about myself - very happy.

I think I must add though, that for some reason, as I was buying my shoes, gambling came to my mind - not that I wanted to or had any intention of doing so but I think it was just related to the past when I used to think if I wanted some things, I would try and win the money for them. It did slightly disturb me, however, I did a bit of self talk and reminded myself that it was just a thought and this is ok and relatively normal and to accept this. I also reflected back on just how pleased I have been today with my purchases and being able to treat people to these out of my hard earned salary.

I am sticking to my on going goals, both mini and long term and this makes me feel good.

Off work next week and going to stay at my nieces with my lovely sister to look after her gorgeous grandson for a few days - should be fun!!

Will hopefully update next pay day.

Take care all and remain strong.

Feb - feeling fortunate on "The Bright Side of the Road"

Hey Feb,

Thank you for your kind words and it's lovely to read another great update on your tread. Way to go girl!! Reap all the benefits you gifting urself in this journey 🙂 you so deserve it

Have a lovely coming week off and be proud!

Sandra x

Thank you Sandra.

Hi LF

Your progress is amazing- well done x

Like you, the strangest things trigger thoughts of gambling for me and like you, I work hard to keep them just thoughts- will it ever stop I wonder? Admittedly, the further I get from that day, the less intrusive the thoughts are.

Anyhow, hope this week's been a good one!

take care

Irene

x

Well done, great work, keep it up you are an inspiration to many on this diary section.

Sorry to hear about your collision, at least you are hear to tell the tale, hope you are OK.

Hi Feb thanks for post on my diary very kind of you sorry to hear about recent event . New journey for me so onwards and upwards hitthefanx

Feb,

Thank you for your kind words of support on my diary. You are certainly doing a fabulous job with your recovery and it is great to see people really taking control of their lives.

It also encourages me to read that you have set long and short term goals, which is something that I try to do also. It keeps me on an honest path and makes me feel good when I achieve something or can afford to buy my kids something that I usually wouldn't have previously when in the midst of my gambling addiction.

Keep up the good work and take care.

Tomso.

Thank you kind people.

Feb.

Hi Feb,

Thanx for your kind words. Hope all is good in your world. Be proud and keep making the right choice

All the best,

Take care

S x

MONTH 18- PAYDAY UPDATE

Pay day over a week ago now. I actually had money in my account the day before I got paid!! Yes, it was only 7.00 but at least I am no longer overdrawn and paying charges for being so. Seeing this, made me reflect back to my dark days when I would spend nearly all of my money as soon as I got paid, in an effort to try to win back some of my huge losses. I remember those times well and most of the time, I would be lucky if I had 7.00 to last me for the rest of the month!! What terrible times they were....

Today however, I continue to meet my goals, both mini and long term and I am able to reward myself more with the things I was so used to buying back in the day before my 3+ years of problem gambling.

Last week, I was able to help my son out and lend him some money (which he always gives me back), I taught him well!! I was also able to buy him a food shop to help him out, as he had a more than usual expensive month. It felt so good to be able to do that again. I have always been there for him and he has always thought of me as strong, independent and very much in charge and in control of my finances. He knew a couple of years ago, I was really struggling but he did not know (and still does not know) the reason why.

Things are very much different today and as the months pass by, I become bit by bit, the person I used to be.

So a week on from pay day and all my bills are paid, I continue to pay back my sister what I owe her, I have some money for myself and I continue to enjoy the rewards of sticking to my goals and remaining abstinent.

My lovely sister is coming for the weekend for supper and a browse round town then we are both off to London next weekend for the week!!

Take care all and enjoy your weekend.

Feb - Feeling "normal" on "The Bright Side of the Road".

Lady feb

a great post to read,it is fantastic to see the rewards of you continued efforts to abstain and maintain.

Keep making the right choice

Most of all enjoy it.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi LF

I love your updates 🙂

So sorry I've been rubbish at corresponding, my memory's mince- head's wrapped up in other stuff! Hopefully we can catch up at weekend- unless you're off on your travels again?!

Take care

Irene

xx

Month 19 - PAYDAY UPDATE

Thanks Duncs and Q.I for your kind posts.

Payday last Friday. For the first time in a long while, I actually wasn't too bothered waiting for it to come round!! This time, I still had 25.00 left in my account spare. Last month it was 7.00. As the saying goes "small steps, bit by bit.

Still think about gambling from time to time but more to do with, the damage it can cause, rather than how much I can win, which is a blessing. As time goes on and I have more money to spare, life is far less stressful, which feels great. You come to value money so much more when you are saving bit by bit and watching it grow gives me so much pleasure.

Still sticking to all my mini and long term goals.

ONE NEW MINI GOAL:

To slowly build up my reserve in my current account each month, leading up to payday. It just feels so good not desperately waiting for payday!!

Off on Friday - doing afternoon tea for my mum, sis and two cousins, one of which is just recovering from cancer and just finished her chemo so thought this would be a nice little thing to do. Weather is going to be fab for it! Yeah. Then off to a bbq on Sat to celebrate my nephew's engagement/house warming party. Have my family from London coming to stay with me also. Its so lovely to be able to have my family stay over again and be able to comfortably accommodate them once more. Full English breakfast all round on Sunday courtesy of moi!! ha.

Take care all and remain positive and strong.

Feb - Feeling just like Farrel Williams on "The Bright Side of the Road"

Hey Julie!

Lovely to hear from you again. Really pleased to hear that you are still doing so well and building up those Morrison vouchers!! My Sainsbury's savings are adding up also.

Take care and lovely to know I have company on "The Bright Side of the Road"!

Feb.x

Hi Feb,

It is gr8 2 read u r still going strong, well done. U r an inspiration 🙂

Stay strong xx