2019 - My Turning Point?

Found some.

Ok, so I’m now 107 days free from gambling. 

I’m in a far better place than I was before Christmas. But now I’m over that initial ‘dark’ period, I feel like I want to begin treating myself again. What I really want is a mini break somewhere. Nothing too expensive. But a few nights away to somewhere that I’ve not been to before. I work with people who travel abroad quite regularly and I must say that I want a bit of that myself.

I’m 33 this year. I used to go away all the time, but for the last 10 years or so, that hasn’t really happened. Mainly due to me gambling any spare cash I had.

My cousin has recommended getting a ‘Revolut’ account. I’d not heard of them but he says it’s very good for budgeting and saving up for holidays/treats etc. 

He says he keeps this seperate from his main bank account which he uses to pay his bills, petrol, everyday living essentials etc. But he uses his Revolut account for treating himself. He says he also uses it to transfer his loose change into ‘BitCoin’ but I can’t say that facility interests me to be honest. I just wondered if anyone else had heard of them?

I do feel like I want to start saving up for something like a holiday. I want to start enjoying more experiences and getting out more to see my friends too. Gambling really does isolate you in a world of your own. I’ve been keeping really busy for the last 4 months or so but I now want to be kept busy with exciting/new experiences. 

I know the best intentions were made to improve the layout/set up of this site, but I’m really struggling to adjust to it. It’s too confusing and everything seems all over the place. I accept that it may just be me though. 

In truth I probably won’t post or use this site for the forseeable future which is a real shame for me. I suspect, judging by fewer messages on here recently, that others may have done the same. 

Wishing everyone on here the best of luck on their recovery journies. 

Dan

Dear @determineddan ,

really sorry you feel the site is confusing and challenging to navigate. I would encourage you to give it some more time. It wasn't easy for us Admin's either, but slowly and surely we are getting there. 

Any feedback you have, what you would like to be corrected in the new set-up please post on here or just email Forum.Admin@gamcare.org.uk

If using the Forum and Chatroom is helping in your recovery, please try a persevere. We apologise for any inconvenience in the meantime.

Wishing you all the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

Totally agree everything was a lot simpler on the other website. On here now it’s just a chew on finding everything 

Yeah you've nailed it there Boro. It's frustrating.

Totally mate. I’m sure people will look at it now and think I can’t be bothered with thiS. No need what so ever to change it. 

Thanks Admin, I’ll try and perservere with it and try to get used to it, but as Boro rightly pointed out, it has stopped me from logging on and posting over the last few days because it now seems like extra effort to find everything. 

I’ve had a tough week, all told. I’ve had some big urges over the last week or so to try and get myself back into the online gambling game. Thankfully I’ve not acted on those urges, even though I know I could probably find a way. I even had thoughts about gambling on BitCoin betting sites which I don’t think are covered by GamStop. I may be wrong though.

Anyway, I eventually managed to overcome those urges this week, by hook or crook. Things are beginning to get back to normal now in my life. 4 months worth of clean bank statements and money growing in my savings. I realise just how much I hated losing a big chunk of my savings last year and I keep reminding myself of those horrible days. At least now I can relax and watch things grow, month by month. 

Generally, I’ve had an ‘Ok’ last 12 months. This time last year I was in a pretty bad position, financially, but I’ve clawed things back pretty well and I’m stronger for it. I now would like to have an ‘excellent’ next 12 months to really push things in my favour. 

2019 has been a great year so far. I must keep it going.

Dan

It’s been another tough 4 days since my last post. I’ve had strong urges to gamble, to the point where for the first time in the 5 months I’ve been signed up to GamStop, I’ve actually tried to find a site to gamble on. I also had fleeting thoughts to use my parent’s address to sign up to a site, but I wasn’t even sure that would work. Maybe it would get me through the initial signing up process, but I would then struggle to provide the necessary documentation to verify my account. The only reason I contemplated that was because I’ve not long (2 years) moved out from my parent’s house so if I were to have signed up to a site two years ago, I would have had to use my parent’s address. So thought to myself, what’s the difference. And I do still spend a lot of nights here at my parent’s. Anyway, long story short, I didn’t. 

Do you think I should inform GamStop of my parent’s house too? Has anyone on here put down more than one address such as their parent’s house, for this very reason? I’d be interested to know. 

Hi Dan :)) 

Mate I'm sorry to hear of your struggles of late but however strong we feel one day doesn't mean that addiction wont try and find a little gap somewhere to push it's way in . 

It'll be 4 yrs in September since my last bet and I'm not ashamed to say that even now I get that fleeting moment of maybe I could ??????............ , The difference is that now I can just blow those thoughts away pretty quickly and not think about it again but the only thing that's allowed me to do that is TIME away from gambling , TIME that has taught me to stop and think about the repercussions of that action of placing another wager . 

In my opinion when times get tough you have to revert to the tried and tested " One day at a time " again , at least for a while till those thought's pass and they will pass my friend for sure , you've come far too far just to chuck it in now and do you really want another day one following a binge and the sh1 tey feelings that go with that ? . 

Mate if I were you I'd speak to Gamstop asap and just ask ? , get your @r*e in gear and make everything watertight again , that way if there's a next time when those urges strike your ready for them ? . 

I know it may sound stupid but I believe that even the changes in this site could have an effect on how people feel ? , this has been your comfort blanket for a while now and all of a sudden it's different ? Gamblers don't like change , I know I don't that's why it took me so long to break away from gambling , I didn't like this new site as it felt all wrong but fortunately I'm coming around now and am slowly getting used to it's unfamiliar way's . What I'm trying to say is that when I gambled it was because something / anything happened in my day that made me feel uncomfortable or out of the norm , was a green light to gamble again but it's taken me nearly 4 yrs to realise this and to identify those feelings ? .,

Your doing really well mate so just keep pushing forward :)) 

Talk to you soon Bud :))  

Thanks Alan, your reply was spot on and everything I needed to hear. 

I shall speak to Gamcare later on today and possibly add my parent’s address on to my personal details. Though I’m not whether or not I’d actually have the balls to use their address to sign up to a betting site anyway. Still, better to be safe than sorry. 

Yes, I’ve reverted back to the ‘one day at a time mantra’ to see me through the days at the moment. I’m also trying to think back to those horrible nights, just after a big loss. Trying to pretend that everything was normal and alright the next day etc.... 

Today is payday, and after transferring last month’s unused money into my saving’s, I reckon I’ve now repaired 90% of the damage that was caused 4/5 months ago. I never thought I’d see the day when I’d recover from that particular blow out. The end of the tunnel seemed so out of sight and unrealistic. 

I must say that if it hadn’t have been for this site and for wonderful people like yourself, I’d have found the journey to recovery much tougher. 

We go on...

Dan

well done, keep going and remember we are never fixed.each day as it comes

So today I did a pretty stupid thing!...?

Having spent last night with my mates in the pub, they were (or so it felt) constantly talking about the football at the weekend and relaying all the teams that they were going to have to win/score etc.

No excuse, of course, but today I folded.

I walked into a WH shop, went on to their sports betting terminal thing and used my old Plus card to put a £5 bet on the matches for Saturday. I printed my ticket and walked towards the exit....

”Excuse me!” The guy behind the counter shouted. I ignored it as I thought he was shouting someone else...

He shouted again, “Excuse me!”...

I turned round. He said, “Are you self excluded?” To which I said, “Yes, online, but I thought I could bet in-shop?”.

”No you can’t!” He said abruptly. 

He took my full name and told me I can’t bet during my self exclusion.

Whether he meant and knew I was excluded from WH or GamStop, I don’t know. But it didn’t half sh** me up!

So he voided my bet, gave me £5 back and I left the shop, sheepishly and slightly embarassed I must say.

But it was a massive wake up call for me. It’s put me off every walking into a bookies again! I was nervous about walking into the shop in the first place because of the seediness of the whole procedure and of course the guilt. But today has done it for me I think. 

Maybe it’s the best thing that could happen to me in the long run. Who knows.

I just wonder why he took my name? I hope I’m not going to be threatened with a letter through my door or anything like that.  

That’s what the system should do. He was doing his job properly and that’s a great result. You didn’t gamble and that’s a reminder that you need to stay strong and don’t forget the terrible feelings that you have had before after gambling. Remember you can’t win because you can’t stop. It’s just not worth the risk. Best wishes 

And you don’t have to start damaging yourself again just because you have repaired most of the last damage. Now is the time to practice living ‘normally ‘ !