A 90 day challenge

This is an extract of a blog from Dr Lance Dodes. A man whose thoughts around addiction have helped me immensely despite the fact he is opposed to Anonymous programs & what they teach.

If i stop does it mean im no longer an addict

This question comes up fairly often. It is the kind of question that cannot be answered if you look only at the surface ofВ addiction: at the behavior itself. But if you peek beneath the surface, the question and its answer becomes obvious.

As readers of this blog or either of my books knows, true addiction is neither more nor less than a psychological symptom, a compulsion like any other. Of course, there is such a thing as physical addiction due to creation of physical tolerance to certaindrugs, but that has nothing inherently to do with true addiction. Many people have physical addictions yet can quit their behavior once they decide to do so (as did millions with physical addiction to nicotine). Conversely, many people with true addictions never have a physical addiction, such as binge drinkers, people who addictively use drugs like marijuana or LSD that are incapable of producing physical addiction, and all the people with non-drug addictions such as compulsive gamblers or compulsive eating. No, physical addiction is simply not a part of true addiction even if it is sometimes also present. And neither is the false “chronic brain disease” neuropsychological model as I've discussed extensively in previous posts. 

Once it is clear that addiction is a psychological symptom, we can begin to see how the wording of the question itself makes it impossible to answer: whether people were or still are “addicts.” It is misleading and confusing that we label people “addicts” when they have the kind of compulsive symptom that we call “addiction.” After all, when the compulsion is different, say, compulsively cleaning the house, or shopping or eating, we don't use their symptom to name them! We don't call them “cleaners” or “shoppers” or “eaters,” as though their symptom defined something about their essence as human beings. Symptoms come and go, even addictive symptoms. So, the original question needs to be re-thought.

Let's rephrase it: “If I ever have addictive symptoms and they go away, does that mean they will ever come back?” Obviously, this is a much easier question to answer: just like every other psychological symptom, they might not, but they could. And this raises the main practical question: how can I prevent this symptom from returning? Part of the answer to that one will involve tackling another question: What made the symptom go away to begin with.

What makes any symptom come and go? Symptoms are the mind's way to solve emotional problems. So, they arise when the problem is at hand and disappear when it is not. Depressions, anxiety, compulsions, and so on rise and fall with the factors that cause them. Here is an example. Bill had always suffered with poorВ self-esteem. From an early age, and now deep inside, he believed he was less valuable and important than others. Since this was a lifelong feeling, he usually did have symptoms:В low-grade depressionВ and someВ anxietyВ in situations in which hisВ self-imageВ was going to be challenged. But sometimes things worked out great for him. He got a promotion, caught the eye of an attractive woman, won a game of tennis. At those moments he wasn't depressed or anxious. And if Bill's main symptom were an addiction, like gambling or drinking, his compulsion to do these activities would also fade in good times, only to return later. But things could go even better for him. After years of feeling like an outcast, he might find a wonderful woman to marry and his self-esteem would receive a long-lasting boost. He might go for years without the compulsion to drink or gamble, though he would have a permanent risk of returning to those symptoms. This is the sort of thing commonly observed with another symptom:depressionВ in old age. When sources of self-esteem end (such as meaningful work or relationships with friends and relatives),В depression, anxiety, addictive behavior, and other symptoms can return after a long absence.

Life changes are only half the story, though. Symptoms arise because of internal factors. What if Bill's low self-esteem could be repaired? Then it wouldn't matter so much whether the circumstances of his life – his job, his relationships – changed or not. Then he would have the best protection against the slings and arrows of life, and the best protection against return of his addiction. This is the job of psychotherapy. I have written extensively about psychotherapy of addictions in this blog and two books, so I will not repeat that here. But the main point for our original question is this: If you have ever had a true addiction, it is an excellent idea to find a good therapist to talk with in order to figure out what that symptom was treating. Mind you, you will want a therapist who can do this work, somebody trained and experienced in human psychology who will focus on the emotional factors that produce the compulsive need to drink, gamble or eat. Unfortunately, most addiction counselors have little training of this sort. If you find that the treatment you are receiving is focused on advice about avoiding stress or urging you to join a 12-step program then you are in the wrong place. If you are examining the emotional story of your life then stick with it and you can truly break your addiction. 

Hi Wants2stop! Awesome achievement in 200 days and keep up the good work. No looking back ☺
Day@atime, thank you for your thoughts and posts. It was a good read for sure and definitely helped many others.

Sorry for the delay of updating the challenge. To be honest am really gripped with cold and just about functioning but things needs to be done, so my little shout out for missing soldiers - Judy, SA, GT,Change, Spud, Insanity, Lost my life and Tichimus.
8 soldiers missing this week and just hope all is well with yourselves. Whatever has happened - never loose the belief and determination to try again.

Will catch you all later, for now - let's keep moving forward, one day at a time...everything will be ok ☺ xx

Sandra12 wrote: Hi Wants2stop! Awesome achievement in 200 days and keep up the good work. No looking back ☺ Day@atime, thank you for your thoughts and posts. It was a good read for sure and definitely helped many others. Sorry for the delay of updating the challenge. To be honest am really gripped with cold and just about functioning but things needs to be done, so my little shout out for missing soldiers - Judy, SA, GT,Change, Spud, Insanity, Lost my life and Tichimus. 8 soldiers missing this week and just hope all is well with yourselves. Whatever has happened - never loose the belief and determination to try again. Will catch you all later, for now - let's keep moving forward, one day at a time...everything will be ok ☺ xx

Time for Roll call missing passengers

Don't leave us hanging

Like our humble leader Sandra guides never loose the belief!!!

Hi GT,

Sorry to hear you are departing the challenge but your wishes are respected my friend and you need to do what is right for you.
Challenge won't save the life, wont cure you from this disease and expectations of it are not something huge, it is just the tool to help yourself when challenges in life becomes a little too tough. Well, at least for me..i have laid this foundation to help me on wobbly days and hopefully i can start seing the road ahead...and i do my friend and i take on what is working for me, plus if that helped one more soul on here, my job is done. We are all different of course and need to look what's working for us individually..recovery is bespokr and many avenues to take and lead.

Let me just finish my thoughts with the words - the door will ALWAYS remain open and you're welcome back at any time.

Stay safe, keep believing and working recovery one day at a time

S x

Sorry Sandra... I thought coz id relapsed I was no longing able to carry on with the challenge. After your post on my diary I am more than happy to check in! Sorry for being late!

Hi Change,

As i said many times before, everyone is welcome to join the challenge at any stage in recovery, even if they slip, it's not the end of the world..just another lesson to learn. If person wants to leave the challenge, they are free to do so by posting on here and letting me know..this is not a concentration camp lol and I'm not keeping you all chained up to stay 😉
Good to see you back..don't worry if you won't complete all 90 days, every day matters the most! Straight bk on the wagon and we try again 🙂

Well dear challengees,i guess my overal updates are on Mondays now! So good to see most of you marching on and keeping the commitment to abstain and maintain. Not easy huh...but doable for sure. As i keep repeating myself, we can but try! Find that inner strength in us not to give up the fight..find belief and determination to keep carrying on..so many lessons we learn on the way and i believe they all are very useful in our arsenal fighting against this beast!

Very proud of each and single one of you!.many milestones passed this week as well as upcoming week! For me - milestone is waking up and going to bed with clear head..let it be if issues still here, none of us wants to add on that s*** (excuse the language) pile any more do we?! NAHHHHH!!!

We ended week 4 with 6 members missing, and one leaving the challenge.

Nothing in life is perfect and never will be but if we stand together, help the ones in the need we are more than capable to end this challenge with more upbeat mindset and badly bruised G :-)))))

Let's do it!!!! Let's set ourselves free once and for all!!!!!

See you all on Friday ☺

Tipu tapu (foot in front of another)

S x

BUMP ready for tomorrow 🙂

Go go go dear soldiers!!!!☺

Checking in slightly early incase I forget tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing well! Regards Change

Check in for another week. Day 137 g/f. Have a good week everyone x

Checking in - day 20
Payday today - need to have my wits about me as im not at work

Another troop reporting in on Day 131. Have a great gamble free bank holiday weekend soldiers x

Checking in for another week. Day 38 for me. Onwards and upwards all.

Checking in on week 6 .

Keep abstaining and maintaining troops.

Suzanne xx

Checking in. Another gamble free week for me 🙂

LifeBegins x

Checking in - day 32 for me, pay day for me and a day off, got a busy day planned, firstly go and pay some of my dues - go and pay pawn broker some of the interest I owe him!! That will account for some of my wages, hopefully by the end of October I will be able to buy some of my jewellery back, by keeping gamble free I should be able to achieve this, am setting myself small achievable financial goals. Also having eyes tested today, am about 2 years overdue as never felt I could justify spending the money on having them re-tested, yet I could justify spending and wasting £100s on gambling - not going to justify that anymore or give it the time of day! Have a good day everyone, stay strong x