A better future starts now

H Kirstbob

Gamblers Anonymous is NOT a religous organization. Men & woman of any faith, atheists & agnostics are all welcome through the doors. The only requirement to attend is a desire to stop gambling.
Yes there is mention of god ( of your understanding) in our literature, but a lot less than the uninformed would have you believe.
There are also multiple mentions of god in the national anthem of this country, doesnt mean you have to be religous to join in with it does it?

I have attended GA for 9.5 years in which time thanks to the program of recovery offered to me for free i have managed to remain gamble free. I dont have a religous bone in my body & not once in the many hundreds of meetings i have attended has anyone ever preached god at me.
Im not suggesting everyone with gambling problems should attend GA regularly, but i do believe EVERYONE should at least try it before passing judgement on it.
If your intention is to put your life back together rather than just your finances then GA is proven to be your best option.

Thank you all , I must say when I read it it did make me feel slightly uncomfortable and I automatically thought no that's not for me ....but thank you Day@atime for explaining and clearing that up ...... I will say for people like me that are new and have no clue what the 12 steps are so decide to google it ,it's quite an off put when you see the word God .

Well done on 9 and a half year , I will now start to read you diary for some inspiration and to get a better understanding of things .

Thank you

I've been having a little think , like I said in an earlier post the not gambling I am finding easy ( to many blocks in place ) so I no I can't .... By not gambling it's giving me time to start looking at other Aspects of my life ,the ones that lead me to gambling , the guilt I have for the pain and misery I've caused to my love ones . It's not about the money ,,I know that's gone and I have a payment plan in place to deal with that , yes I admit it's nice to have extra money to spend on the kids and to not have the stress worry of how the bills are going to be paid but the money is not the focus of my recovery. ..... I need to deal with what has happened to my brother and my dad as I truly believe this is where it has all stemed from ,instead of blocking it out and using slots to escape and forget , this will take time , time I now have more of with not gambling so I find I am thinking about the whole situation a lot more ,which can only be a good thing , these past few weeks and probably for the first time since his accident , we have been out and I have enjoyed it so much , my head was clearer , I had no sick empty feeling in my stomache and no thoughts of gambling ,I've realised that days like that are so special and since joining this site I have noticed and felt a difference in myself and my way of thinking , for the better .GA is not for everyone as others have said and I believe I'm one of those people , I'm not saying I am completely ruling it out but at this moment that is how I feel , my partner respects my decision so I hope other will also . I've been thinking more about counselling and I may take this route , but I will do it through my GP as my mam and sister both have .... I have learned so much from this site that it has helped give me the strength to deal with things , it's opened my eyes and giving me a better understanding of the whole situation .... Thank you everyone . I now know that this is for life and no matter how many days , months and years pass I can never think am cured .... I've also learned if I deal with the problems as to why I gamble then I would have no reason to , as there will be no pain that I need to escape or block out from . A day at a. Time is the way forward . This is my recovery and I will do what way I feel best for me as everyone is different , if I fail in time then I will learn from my mistakes and try another way , but right now it's working and I feel more at ease so I'm happy with that ..... This site has been truly amazing ,I read everyday , take advice from , and it has giving me inspiration and determination... I will continue to read everyday until I feel am at a place where I don't need to ,but I will hopefully never wander to far away from it for to long .

Day 29 .... No urges what so ever, but to be honest gambling is the last thing on my mind so never think about it much at all .

2 days and I will be month clear , hopefully the first of so many more to come , I'm learning , more aware and feeling a little stronger everyday .... Here's to a better future .

Just clicked on , it is exactly a month to day I had a major relapse , I had been trying to stop for some time before I came to this site but I always slipped , it was like a repeat pattern every month .....I was more of a binge gambler for probably the last year , I was aware that I had a problem and needed to stop but the difference between then and now is I actually want to stop and that makes a hell of a difference.

Anyway that last major relapse was a wake up call , I can remember exactly how I was feeling and o*g I never want to feel that again .... The reason my gamble free date starts from 2 days after this, is because this is when all the money was gone from my account .... I've totalally changed my way of thinking since then .

What makes the whole situation feel a lot worse is that ,it was the day of my brothers birthday party , the whole family were getting together at his house for food and drinks ..... I Made myself feel that ill off what I had done I couldn't go , i couldn't face anyone and just needed to be alone .... I feel so bad , people are right what they say on here gambling takes so much more from your life then just money ... So true .

Hey there ☺

Very well done on your month g free! It's ok to reflect on your past mistakes, this can only strengthen your resolve not to repeat them again .
You have come far in the last month. You posting about your lovely day out feeding ducks and having a laugh with the family made this frown to go upside down and change into honest smile ☺..writing emotions down is truly helpful. You have great self awareness and it's amazing to see how you're changing into more confident and open person. Get that personallity in the open, no more hiding behind the screen...you're loved & appreciated for who you are - recovery never stops giving so please keep taking, it's your life and wellbeing what matters the most ☺

Be proud, you're on the right track

S x

Thank you for your kind words , you are so right in what you say .

Day 30 and still going strong , I've done a hell of a lot of thinking in these past 30 days , I'm more focused with a completely different mindset , my head is a lot clearer then it has been in a long time and I've realised I need to start and deal with things head on instead of pushing things to the back of my mind as this will only lead to destruction.

Hopefully the start of a better future ,taking it a day at a time 🙂

Day 31 ... 1 month

All good 🙂

Another gamble free day so feel good ... this morning was different though ,slightly stressful , not gambling related , just things to do with my brother , everything is just one big fight and its like 1 step forward and 2 back at times . .... Anyway it got a little better as the day went on , not sorted but a little further forward .

No thoughts of gambling though , I just keep remembering how bad I felt last month and the pain I have caused my love ones .... I read the new members intros or diaries and I feel their pain as that was me only a month ago , some have really getting to me , I could cry for them......I will give this my all as I can't ever go back to that dark place .... It's only been a month but things have improved and I feel a lot better in myself ..... Up is the only way from now .

Day 33

Still going strong 🙂

Day 34 .... Went out to my cousins wedding night last night ....it was such a great feeling been out without having a black cloud hanging over the top of me , I was able to just relax and enjoy the night instead of been full of guilt and stressed out and not actually wanting to be there ..... Gambling had turned me into someone I'm not and i cant believe I let it , well no more !!! I can feel myself slowly getting back to the person I was .......here's to the start of a better future a day at a time 🙂

Wow just been online to check my bank account and there was not 1 transaction for gambling , can't remember the last time I seen that .... Another positive to help keep my going 🙂

5 weeks today was when I last deposited online , it's flew over ,I can remember exactly how I was feeling on that day and it wasn't very good ! ....Having a bit of a down day the day but tomorrow's another day so hopefully feeling better then I do now . It's was on days like today when I would go straight online and play slots just to forget about everything .... Not now though as I realise it would only make me feel a 100 times worse then I already did . I've just Got'a keep telling myself this !

Day 37 and still felling very determined. I remind myself everyday that I need to stay focused as one small slip and it all could be over , nothing is worth losing my family over .

Stay strong , we can beat this sh@t !!!

Hi Kirstbob

Would like to sayyour diary has been a really inspiration to read. I am only on day 4 but feel determined by all the people on here. I have been struggling to deal with some of my emotions as they all seem to have surfaced as soon as I have stopped gambling. I think gambling was an escape for me too not having to deal with real life. One step at a time aye. I will continue to follow your diary.

Good luck