A journal of the newbie recovering gambler

124 days 🙂

Have not posted for ages as I've had so much non gambling stuff in my head, which is a very good thing in many ways. I have figured out why my addiction became so intense and what it was replacing in my life. Without going into it too much, my partner is asexual, and I'm fast coming up to a year with no action. Gambling helped me to dampen down my s*x drive increadibly well, but I needed it to stop. Due to swimming a lot more, I have found myself in a flirtation with a very attractive man 21 years younger than me (i am 47). This young man has been insanely tempting, but I have resisted because I love my man very much and do not want to deceive him in any way at all. I have however told him how unhappy I am with the status quo, and he is currently considering my suggestions of either comprise or ethical non monogamy. Either way I need to get this boy out of my head. 

Anyway, no gambling and no thoughts of gambling. Just of a pretty boy in tight trunks.

Just for today I will not gamble or cheat.

131 days!!!!

Yeah baby :)!!!!

It's going well, really well. I have not actually felt urges to deposit for ages now. And my other half is gambling an awful lot less. Soon I will be transferred to a new job, where I can be a proper nurse again and look after people :). I have health issues that I've always struggled with, and the new job is only 2.5 days a week. 2 days one week, 3 the next. And it will be so much easier to have a great work life balance and manageme my health. Time to swim more and enjoy life. And I can only afford to this because I quit gambling :D. What a glorious revalation. Still being good with fidelity too.

Just for today I will not gamble 

148 days. Wow, going on six months now

 Everything still going really well. I have only had the most fleeting of thoughts about gambling. I continue to be amazed at how little I actually spend when I am not gambling, and how much more money is available to spend on much better things. 

Should be starting my new job in a few weeks time, feels lovely to be able to afford to only do 18.75 hours a week. Much better work life balance.

It really does get better and easier. 

Wishing you all the strongest of wills for when you need it.